Hi Hawk127
I just want to first of all say that those people in your life who have ignored your attempts to get help probably simply do not understand, which is not really their fault. They just can't relate, so it doesn't make any sense to them. I have had similar experiences, as I'm sure a lot of people on here have, so it is important to know that you are not alone...at all...and there are many people who can, do, and will understand and who will absolutely take you seriously (such as the people on here).
I also understand your sense of embarrassment in talking about this, but the fact that you have pushed yourself to express these feelings anyway is just evidence of your strength and is most definitely nothing to feel embarrassed about. Quite the opposite, actually.
The main message I want to send out is that YOU are worth the effort, so if you don't find the help you need with one psychologist, get another. I don't know how many therapists and psychiatrists I've been through (and I'm still not 100% happy), so I know it can be an exhausting process, but when you find the right fit for you, you'll be so glad you kept trying. In the meantime, just getting your thoughts out there and being heard by people who understand can help (or at least it helps me), so don't hesitate to post on here.