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Forums / Anxiety / I don’t want to be weak

Topic: I don’t want to be weak

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Thisso
    Thisso avatar
    1 posts
    27 May 2020
    It has always been hard for me to show how I feel. But after the end of a long term relationship and the start of a new relationship I’ve developed an intense feeling of dread all the time my resting heart rate has increased and a fair few other issues but I don’t want to see a gp or talk to anyone about it because I don’t want to appear weak
  2. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    10416 posts
    27 May 2020 in reply to Thisso

    Hi Thisso

    Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too!

    There is nothing 'weak' about you at all as usually people that seek help are strong by doing so. Its only my experience that being in the early stages of a new relationship will elevate our heart rate as per the feelings we have at the time

    Im not sure how long its been since your last relationship. Whether its a short or long period of time it can be difficult if we are still healing

    If you wish to elaborate you are welcome....just so we can provide you with more effective support :-)

    The forums are a rock solid safe and non judgemental place for you to post Thisso. The feeling of dread is very common to experience. I have had the same set of feelings as you and they can be unsettling

    you are not alone


  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    13001 posts
    27 May 2020 in reply to Thisso

    Hello Thisso, and I also welcome you and definitely agree with Paul, there is no weakness in telling someone how you feel, especially not on a depression site and certainly not in a new one.

    Leaving a long term relationship means that much has been left behind, but a new person has different ideas, likes and dislikes and this makes it all very intriguing to explore the boundaries, and this new person maybe twice as better from the last person, in those good times.

    A GP will embrace your courage and would only want to help you through this, that's the reason why we go and visit our doctor, and perhaps if you write down how you are feeling and what concerns you, then you can just hand this over to them, but would like to hear back from you, when you have time.

    Best wishes.


  4. jemma09
    jemma09 avatar
    56 posts
    29 May 2020 in reply to Thisso

    Hi Thisso

    Thank you for sharing.

    It can be hard to overcome our feelings or judgements on ourselves. I understand, I sometimes battle this feeling of 'being weak'. I was worried about getting help too as I always convinced myself that I was weak if I said anything. Though, it is not weak. It is admirable to ask for help. We are human and we do face emotions and events in our lives that cause us to react certain ways. It is okay to feel.

    I do suggest you chat with a doctor you trust. They are there to help you and make sure you feel comfortable. If speaking face to face is too much - try doing a telephone consult instead! If you are not comfortable with a doctor, Beyond Blue here has online chat, email or a phone number that you can contact for advice. See the top of the webpage.

    Find the best method for you that can help you feel supported and comfortable. Reaching out here is the first step so good on you. As others have said, please feel free to post more comments here if needed. We are here for you any time.

    I wish you all the best. Stay safe and be kind to yourself. :)

  5. Jesicca
    Jesicca avatar
    47 posts
    29 May 2020 in reply to Thisso

    Hi Thisso,

    I think it's great that you have come onto the forums to get some suggestions. I know it might be frustrating to hear the advice to talk to a trusted doctor because I remember when I was in your shoes and that was the last thing I wanted to do. It took me a year to actually gain the courage to do so, I think I booked and cancelled about 8 appointments before actually going to one. Something that helped me go in the end was telling my boyfriend that I had been feeling a bit anxious and had an appointment so that I almost felt responsible for my own health to actually go. I did ask if he would come with me and sit in the waiting room, I'm not sure if you would feel comfortable asking this of your new partner but it certainly helped me feel a bit more settled with the idea of sitting there waiting because that is the type of experience that I felt a lot of dread over.

    It's okay if it takes you a long time to talk to someone and it's okay if you never actually do go to an appointment but bear in mind how it might benefit you, especially if your physical symptoms are something that can be looked at to ensure there are no other underlying health concerns that could be leading to you feeling this way.

    Have you ever tried meditation or yoga? These were great experiences for me to lessen my feelings of dread and heaviness. At first I felt restless and stressed (and sometimes still do) when I first started the task but with practice I have grown to love these practices. I also love going for a light walk when I start to feel anxious because I feel that getting fresh air is a great way to clear my head and I naturally feel like a weight is lifted off my chest.

    I don't want to overwhelm you but feel free to reach out if you wan't any more tips and I wish you all the best in trying to find something that works for you.

    1 person found this helpful

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