Thanks Jt. I just feel like I cant cope, none of the tools I use work, its like I cant tap into them. I cant even bring myself to exercise. I have been off medication for years now and feel I need to go back on to level myself again. I can function at work, but we have a very supportive work place which makes it easy. If I lose it I just shut the door or go for a walk. Friends and family are weighing on me with all their problems. I feel I can not, not pick up the phone to be their for them. I have a particular person at work who is pushing my buttons - I have not reacted but feel I will. I spend the day saying in by head... breathe, breathe, its OK, concentrate on something. If we had speech bubbles come out above my head, well it would be a mess. I dont know, using all I can to keep it together, by the time I get home I fall in mess and cry, and cry and cry. I am falling asleep no worries, but wake up and am functioning on very little sleep. I feel like just driving.. no where in particular... I dont know.