Checking in again after over a year. Far out its been up and down since. Can’t believe I’m almost 18, and the big day is the day of my first yr12 exam. How funny.
Regardless, this year has been worse than most for me, and just like a lot of other people too. But in particular, I’ve developed things over the past few months that have been detrimental to my mental health and consequently my physical health. Panic attacks. It’s honestly the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. There has been times where I suffer from these panic episodes for multiple days at a time, always at night for some strange reason, and it’s always the same symptoms every bloody time; tight chest, shallow breathing, tingling in the limbs… Awful stuff. I’ve thankfully discussed these problems with my psychologist and have been working to suppress it.
But more recently I think these arising issues I’ve had, in combination with the stress and anxiety of school and not being able to see friends, has really broken me down this time. Like I think I’ve given up on school at this point, when it’s the home stretch; the time of year when yr12s are meant to be picking up the pace to smash out their exams. I’m done with it to be quite frank.
I’d probably say I’m a bit of a hypochondriac, I’m always doing the research when I feel a slight alteration, creating links to diseases and all that crap for no reason. I know it’s all in my head. But what if it’s not, you know? I guess that’s the stress I’ve had quite a bit in recent times. But if anyone actually knows, every time something happens to me, I always get the fear in my heart, the tightness, the shallow breathing (pretty much ALL the time), is it some sort of heart problem? If some kind person would let me know I’d like to discuss it with my psychologist.
That’s probably enough of me ranting, as I could honestly go on and on (sincere apologies to the moderators), but I appreciate whoever took the time to read this, and perhaps could relate to my situation. Just had to get things off my chest, that’s all.