Checking in again after over a year. Far out its been up and down since. Can’t believe I’m almost 18, and the big day is the day of my first yr12 exam. How funny.

Regardless, this year has been worse than most for me, and just like a lot of other people too. But in particular, I’ve developed things over the past few months that have been detrimental to my mental health and consequently my physical health. Panic attacks. It’s honestly the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. There has been times where I suffer from these panic episodes for multiple days at a time, always at night for some strange reason, and it’s always the same symptoms every bloody time; tight chest, shallow breathing, tingling in the limbs… Awful stuff. I’ve thankfully discussed these problems with my psychologist and have been working to suppress it.
But more recently I think these arising issues I’ve had, in combination with the stress and anxiety of school and not being able to see friends, has really broken me down this time. Like I think I’ve given up on school at this point, when it’s the home stretch; the time of year when yr12s are meant to be picking up the pace to smash out their exams. I’m done with it to be quite frank.

I’d probably say I’m a bit of a hypochondriac, I’m always doing the research when I feel a slight alteration, creating links to diseases and all that crap for no reason. I know it’s all in my head. But what if it’s not, you know? I guess that’s the stress I’ve had quite a bit in recent times. But if anyone actually knows, every time something happens to me, I always get the fear in my heart, the tightness, the shallow breathing (pretty much ALL the time), is it some sort of heart problem? If some kind person would let me know I’d like to discuss it with my psychologist.

That’s probably enough of me ranting, as I could honestly go on and on (sincere apologies to the moderators), but I appreciate whoever took the time to read this, and perhaps could relate to my situation. Just had to get things off my chest, that’s all.

G'day Harry,

I'm not a psychologist, nor am I trained in any way medically. But what you described in your post; "I always get the fear in my heart, the tightness, the shallow breathing (pretty much ALL the time)" Is how I would perfectly describe my own panic attacks.

It's a horrible feeling, mate, sorry that you have to feel like that.

I know it's not for everyone, but when I feel panicked I try and get myself to a safe space as quickly as possible. If you're at school, that could be a bathroom stall or somewhere quiet (when I was in highschool I used to go to the library) and just try and breathe. I would read books to escape, which would ease my panic attacks, but everyone is different.

As for school, please never think that your results in year 12 will dictate your life. I'm studying to be a teacher at university right now, and I can assure you that your results do not dictate your worth, or how successful you will be in your future. I did terribly at school, which is ironic considering I am now trying to become a teacher, but I found that helping young adults like yourself was something I was passionate about.

What are your passions, Harry? What is something that you can focus your attention on when you're having these panic attacks? Might not be a bad idea to daydream a little, to get away from the attacks from your own mind. I find your imagination is quite cathartic when you know how to use it!

Let me know if you want to chat.

Cheers,

Sasquatchion :-)

Hey, thanks heaps for replying back. It’s nice to hear from someone who’s been through similar circumstances as myself, it’s really reassuring. I think what is the most frustrating thing but also the most beautiful thing is that after getting everything off my chest just before, I feel much more relaxed and pretty much over it (for now at least). Crazy how the human mind works honestly I’m dumbfounded.
Anyways, it’s interesting to hear about you wanting to be a teacher, as my older sister is also studying primary school teaching. Let me tell you, it’s definitely not the first thing I’d want to do, but it certainly sounds like fun. I’m still juggling my preferences at the moment, but my focus is a mix of sports and business. They’re both a big passion of mine (especially footy).
Also, I appreciate the reminder that my results this year won’t dictate my success. Trust me, I’ve heard that a few times, and I believe it wholeheartedly, but I think the fact that I still have to endure this for another few months and having to prepare for this big finish that means very little is a bit disconcerting. I’ve obviously just gotta get through and I’m almost done. I’ve got high hopes for uni as well. I can’t wait to get into a new environment and meet new people.

I guess you’re right about the whole daydreaming thing, it really works. Maybe I should do this more often.

I really appreciate your response. Hope you’re having a good night.

Harry2222,

Thank you very much for your post, and thank you for being so open and honest with us.

I know panic attacks all too well. Mine started in Year 12 as well, so I know exactly how you're feeling. The first step to overcoming panic attacks is to recognise and acknowledge that they're happening, so you're already doing better than I was. On top of all that, I can't even imagine how much your year must've been affected by Covid-19.

You could always have a chat to a GP if it's worrying you, and see if there may be any underlying problems that run deeper than just anxiety and panic attacks. At the end of the day, it couldn't hurt to get a second opinion.

In terms of your studies, my sincere advice is to just do the best that you can in the time that you've got left of school. I know this is easier said than done. Even if you find yourself not working to the standard that you were at the beginning of the year, that's totally normal. It's an exhausting year as it is, and the pandemic isn't making anything any easier. You'll find that these next few months will pass by so quickly, and before you know it, you'll be out in the real world.

I wish you well in your last few months of Year 12, with turning 18, and with your panic attacks. Thank you for getting this all off your chest, I know that sometimes it just feels good to talk to someone.

All the best, SB

harry2222,

Thanks so much for sharing with us Harry. I suffer anxiety and have had panic attacks before but the panic attacks were quite rare for me. I have to say reading your posts has made me feel better about my own battles with anxiety because you just sound like such a wonderfully mature and positive person, despite the challenges you're going through.

You actually sound much older than you are - a lot of wisdom and maturity. I think no matter what you do, or what your score is - you will do well. Love to hear you're passionate about football and business. I know nothing of business but what a great game footy is. I just want to wish you all the best over the next few challenging months.

I had health anxiety too so I know what its like to interpret every bodily function into some indicator of danger. I had to stop googling no matter the temptation - this really helped me because google just reinforces the fears we know are really just in our mind so its not very helpful. I also tried to reinterpret the bodily functions with curiosity not panic. I would wonder what HEALTHY bodily process my body was going through to keep me well. They say a healthy curiosity is the antidote to anxiety, might be something to chat with your psychologist about.

Again thanks for sharing Harry :)