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Forums / Anxiety / Very anxious 2nd time mum during lockdown

Topic: Very anxious 2nd time mum during lockdown

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Anxiousmumma903
    Anxiousmumma903 avatar
    1 posts
    1 October 2021

    Hello,

    I just had a little bub during the lockdown and I am finding it so overwhelming going from 1 to 2 kids and I find myself being very anxious about everything… I can be an anxious person and over think things a lot. but since becoming pregnant I have had a few panic attacks (thought I was having a heart attack at 1st) and a couple of bad ones after baby came along. I also find myself worrying about more and more things. Just every little thing sets me off, I can see something on the news and often I will put myself in that situation and thinking what if it happen to me or my family. I don’t know if it’s me being in lockdown for too long or just all the extra hormones from having a baby. I just don’t feel quite right.

    I also find myself getting quite short with my older son, kinda feels like we are all stuck in a space for too long and can’t tolerate each other. I snapped at him sometimes then I feel really guilty about it after :(

    I feel bad for asking for help because I know there are a lot worst off people out there, specially during these difficult times and I feel that I am taking up resources. But I feel I need some guidance or knowing I am not the only one feeling this way.

    thank you for reading.

  2. Summer Rose
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    Summer Rose avatar
    1558 posts
    1 October 2021 in reply to Anxiousmumma903

    Hi Anxiousmumma903

    Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story.

    Congratulations on the arrival of your second child.

    I hear you on the challenges of transitioning from being a mum of one to a mum of two. I can remember feeling the same way. I think it’s to be expected, given the huge changes taking place in your world.

    For me it got easier as new routines were established and I gained more confidence. The rhythm of our days gradually developed and it seemed like everything then fell into place.

    Now, I didn’t have to adjust in a Covid world and I know it’s much harder for you. Everything in life is harder now and many people—millions of Australians—are struggling. You are not alone.

    I think you’ve got to cut yourself a lot of slack and do everything you can to reduce pressure—try not to worry about the house work and ask for help when you need it. Partner, parents, siblings, cousins, neighbours or friends, reach out to whom ever you feel most comfortable with.

    I’m really sorry that your anxiety is up and concerned. I’d like to suggest that you make an appointment to see your GP. If you make it a double it will give you time to have a good chat. Your doctor will be able to assess what best to do next.

    Please know that you deserve help and support, just like everyone else. Don’t worry about taking up resources. Everyone has a story and while they’re different they all matter. You do what you need to do to be healthy and the best Mum you can be.

    Kind thoughts to you

  3. therising
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    therising avatar
    2194 posts
    2 October 2021 in reply to Anxiousmumma903

    Hi Anxiousmumma903

    You're definitely juggling a lot of challenges all at once. From one mum to another, my heart goes out to you.

    Sometimes we're conditioned to feel guilty through that thing we can often hear, growing up, 'There are others who have it worse than you. Think about them and stop feeling so sorry for yourself'. I think when people say this, they can be dismissing our struggle. We should look at our struggle based on our experience. Even for a little kid who's facing the grief of having lost his teddy bear, his best friend, if that's 1st time grief for him it's serious grief. It's our ability to feel our struggle/challenge that makes it so intense, no matter the circumstances.

    Although my babies have grown a little (daughter 19 this month and son 16), I recall some of the psychological torture in the early years. It's kinda like the powers that be say 'Okay, I'm going to give you a crash course in bringing out the best in you; here's a baby'. Then you graduate to more difficult challenges that push you to amazingness - 'Here you go, here's a second. Juggle that one sister! Let's see how you go. By the way, I've ramped up the volume on guilt. You'll feel it far more easily now'. Yep, thanks for that :)

    For a start, you've grown 2 human beings inside you which definitely makes you pretty amazing. You gotta admit, that's really quite incredible, to grow people. After this point, I'd have to say it becomes a mutual thing. Your kids start to grow you, develop you into a whole new person. They'll develop your patience, your ability to manage challenges/stress, to manage and introduce more outside the square thinking, to manage time etc etc. This is mind altering stuff. Feeling the challenges is one of the things that makes you a sensitive mum. Oh yeah, let's throw in some serious sleep deprivation just to add to the sense of torture. No one really talks much about the torturous aspects of motherhood. I experienced PND with both my babies.

    Not sure how old your eldest is but do you think they'd vibe high through being given the status of 'Legend of the household' (LOTH). LOTH collects the washing to be done, does some vacuuming, dusting, bed making etc. Without them, the house falls apart :) Even if they're 2 or 3, they can push a vacuum around. Explaining to them how incredibly important this role is, is a self esteem booster, especially if they're feeling unimportant with a new baby in the house. LOTH is also a role involving skill development.

  4. Petal22
    Community Champion
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    Petal22 avatar
    1351 posts
    3 October 2021 in reply to Anxiousmumma903

    Hi Anxiousmumma903,

    Wellcome to our forums!

    Im sorry you are feeling this way.

    I understand anxiety I suffered severe anxiety OCD…….

    If you feel your anxiety is high please make an appointment with your gp you can do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist who can give you many helpful strategies for anxiety.

    Your are important and deserve to have the best care for your mental health.

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