Dear A sad boy~

Welcome back to the Forum, while it is good to hear from you again I'm sad about the circumstances that made you think of returning.

I guess there a couple of things which you probably have thought of for yourself, however hearing them from someone else might help.

The first is that human beings basically need to have their feelings returned, it's only natural. If you like someone and they do not like you back, then in time you get to feel unhappy about the one-sided relationship.

Of course having a preoccupation with a celebrity is not all bad, in fact I'd say it is more of a sliding scale, after all movie stars, sportspeople and tons of others have followers. It is how this affects the lives of their fans that is important.

There are of course are all one-sided relationships.

In your case I remember that not only have you been crying for weeks over something that happened to one of the people you followed but even for a moment thought of taking your life. I don't have ot tell you this is not good!

The other thing is the people you admire are distant, and you only get to see one side of them, the side they present to the public. How they are in real life is hidden from you, and if you are like most fans you may fill in the blanks with fantasy - that is to say how you want them to be. So they end up in your mind as ideal people.

I'm sure you realise that if you invest so much time and emotion on unattainable people then you have less for others in real life, in fact it can probably become a way of life, with you avoiding real interactions as you are not comfortable with them.

As you have asked for suggestions I've two, and I"m afraid neither is easy

First limit your viewing to a short time each month - 30 minutes seems terribly small, but wil certainly help you put matters in more perspective

The second is to concentrate more on the real, joining societies perhaps, trying ot make freinds, volunteering and meeting people - I would think you could come up wiht lots of alternatives. The idea being to become comfortable and enjoy the here and now.

Sometimes trying to do things like this by oneself is extra hard, is there anyone you can talk to, set out your aims and get encouragement during the hard times when otherwise you might falter?

Please also remember that even if at first you do not succeed practice will make it easier.

Please let me know what you think

Croix

Hi there,

I am sorry you feel this way. I can see how this could cause anxiety - it seems unnatural to be so focused on someone you will never meet. It can cause distress.

Have you spoken to a psychologist or your doctor? They might be able to give you some helpful strategies.

Jaz xx

Hello everyone,

Thank you for every replies and I have watched them many times. I think that this is another hard stage to overcome but I am trying to solve them.

@Croix: I remembered you about my past problems. I need to say that I had really experienced a hard time in the past, but one day I found that he changed in a way and I can not like him as usual, which reminded me that it may be very terrible, even a little guilty to perform those terrible things in the past. But now I think that I am struggled with the nearly same condition; but the feeling the commentator brought to me is strange and different: he is a relatively good person and I think that I can focus on him in a long time, or as I said I really want to meet him or even make friends, which may be impossible(because there seems to be successful experiences on other fans, so my heart is touched by that). On the other hand I am also afraid that he will be criticised by one certain thing -- in fact I have experienced once however I am still sad for a short time -- but it is not so strong as the past thing. To my honest, I have so much times on such these experiences however I can not learn something from them, which makes me guilty to think of that. I am practising spending less time to use social network but I think this may be a trouble because I really want to watch his updates in the first look; and I do not have so much people to talk and express my feelings in my heart, even if I am trying to tell more people about this. I hope that it will be some good signals in the future.

@jaz28: I have spoken to my doctor and he just let me to turn back to the normal environment, but he also said that it is uneasy for me to do that. I am thinking if there are more ideas to treat my trouble.

@Sophie_M: I have reminded that someone just said to me about the Celebrity Worship Syndrome; and my doctor had also said that I am a little depression(I do not know if it is right to say this in this Anxiety forum) and kind of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Also, I am sorry for my misunderstanding of the community because when typing words I thought that "it may be better to show them about the information of the person I have focused on" without thinking so much; now I realised that this is a wrong behaviour and I am sorry again for my idea. I will not do this anymore.

Those are what I want to say so far. I will add some if I think of more information or have some questions to answer.

A sad boy

Hello A sad boy, I agree with what Croix has said, we can all of a sudden take homeridge with a celebrity in believing they are the best person in the world, but as Croix said, we don't know what their true personality would be like, so their appeal is only physical.

There are many different types of people we have a crush on and that's why we watch that TV station or the same could happen in many other situations, like the supermarket, your doctor or in many other circumstances and sometimes that is as far as it can go.

Geoff.

Dear A sad boy~

First please don't stress about offering an external link, many people do not realise it is not done until they try. No one will worry about it.

Reading your words about the celebrities, past and current, it is pretty clear you have a strong protective streak in you and would like to help when your celebrity faces adversity. This however is not practical, and leads to feelings of powerlessness, or at least frustration. After all what can you do -at best one message among many.

I suppose it is a bit like watching the news, here too people want the latest, and probably most comprehensive bulletins. Unfortunately most news tends to concentrate on the bad thngs in the world, leaving one in a similar state, powerless to do anything.

Most of us have in inbuilt urge to 'fix' things, but with the items in the news - or the misfortunes of celebrities - one cannot.

I don't believe it is good for one to be this way too much. It can take over one's thinking not leaving room for other things. I think it is better to concentrate on matters and people in our own sphere we can actually interact with, support - and most importantly - be supported ourselves.

These reasons -ability to interact and both giving and receiving - are basically why I so strongly suggest limiting your time viewing those you admire from a distance. One does not have to give up entirely but trying to strike a balance that includes more social interaction -is something you may end up really enjoying

Do you think I'm on the right track?

Croix

Hey, I think we all get a celebrity crush here and there.
i was recently watching Bridgerton and had the biggest crush on rege Jean page. Seeing photos of him made my heart race lol. Really I just had to stop watching clips, the show and started watching new shows and my celeb crush on him slowly went.
I find attractive still. I’ve had crushes on other actors to.. I think it’s good to try to focus your mind on other things. Seems like a lot of people fall for actors, influencers and celebs.. but for our own well-being we need to focus on ourselves.. Do you have any other hobbies or things you like to do?