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Forums / Anxiety / Working Through Addictions

Topic: Working Through Addictions

29 posts, 0 answered
  1. demonblaster
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    16 March 2021

    Hi everyone ☺ Welcome aboard...hold on

    Being creatures of habit makes addictions mighty to break as many would know.

    Good news is we do have it in us to beat the brutes.

    There are so many different types which usually have a major negative impact on our lives affecting and hurting those around us creating more anxiety and depression.

    I've so far managed to break some including smoking. I've given up full time still have the odd one or packet but won't ever take it up full time again!

    Compulsive gambling. 21 yr habit. After 10 + yrs of abstinence had occasional devastating relapses which have been in mania.
    This will NEVER be an ongoing problem again! The compulsions not any longer there thank goods.

    So far..

    • To break a habit we need to create a new one.
    Preferably not another addiction 😆

    A new habit forms with persistence. By not indulging. Nothing easy tho either is the addictions consequences...but doable.

    • Baby steps is one way
    • Cold turkey's effective for many but puts tremendous extra stress on. Most people I've spoken with have been successful.

    I think addictions are a way of blocking pain by finding a safe place. Survival.

    Gambling gave me a bubble of security. I'd zone out.The excitement was phenomenal but devastating consequences. Financial insecurity's no ones pleasure.

    We adapt...too well. I built a near unbreakable wall where pain depression guilt sorrow didn't enter my thoughts for the most. An average person would have suffered deep depression and been suicidal. Not a good life.

    If only we could use that srength with Mental health (MH).

    Thing is survival our strongest tool...it's in us. Learning to redirect it towards recovery.

    • Our reasons to give up build our strength. Belief too that in most cases it'll improve our lives.
    • Reinforce reasons constantly.

    I'm going to write my reasons down and have them in sight and on my bedside table to read repeatedly. As well be thinking why I want to give up

    A lifetime habit I'm embarking on.Weight loss. I know I CAN and WILL. I want to feel good again about myself.

    A thought is I'll do this like I did with smoking. The craves go each time and there's many. They reduce in time.

    Already worked. Resisted about um...🤔 let's see...50 craves yesterday. Feeling better already!

    Good luck everyone. Support.

    We got this.

    The powers in us! ✊

    6 people found this helpful
  2. Paw Prints
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    17 March 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi, wave to all,

    I think being prone to addictions is like so many things part heredity, part personality & part environment. I've found it is also so very easy when trying to break one addiction that another takes it's place...

    I had a problem with drink... it was when I found myself craving it from the moment I woke each morning that I realised I was heading down the same path as my brothers, father, grandfather, his brothers, greatgrandfather... they were all alcoholics... most of them died directly from their drinking...

    I went cold turkey & gave it away... unfortunately I replaced it with the smokes... at my worst over 80 a day even waking at night to have them... finally after 20 years & getting myself into debt to feed my smoking... I managed to quit... it's been nearly 20 years since yet I still crave them...

    Being me... I replaced the smokes with drinking milk... over 3 litres a day... then I added comfort eating... my weight ballooned... I'm now 50kg above my ideal weight...

    I hate it... it physically hurts... it affects everything... yet still I can't break the spiral... I've been trying for the last few years... it's extra hard because the depression/anxiety feed into it & we need to eat so I can't just stop all together....

    Deebi... you've done so well lasting even just one day... nothing I've tried has worked to date...

    I would love to know what tips/tricks others have used to succeed in losing weight... getting fitter

    Paws

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  3. Ggrand
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    17 March 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi Deebi and Paws,,

    Great thread Deebi..

    Just tagging for now so I don’t loose you..

    Hugs,

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  4. blondguy
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    18 March 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DB

    Thanks for the excellent thread! You have achieved a lot DB and good on you. I still enjoy a cigarette even though a lot less in quantity than I used to

    I read an excellent comment from management on the 'Sane' forums which mentioned the mental health benefits of stopping the cigarette habit. It was accurate yet didnt help me where the addiction was concerned

    I have 1-2 days without a cigarette which is an achievement for me yet cant kick the habit...yet

    Good1 DB!

    Hugs...Paul

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  5. geoff
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    18 March 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello DB, a great topic to discuss.

    The reason why we become addicted, and this is one of many, is that peer pressure develops the habit, or we use whatever we need as a way to numb what we're trying to run away from, and depression was the reason why I was addicted to alcohol and the desire for any substance for people becomes more important than the actual pleasure it provides, although at first this doesn't happen.

    An addiction as we all know is something we need that is difficult to stop, let alone able to control, and I'm not blaming anybody here.

    To be able to break any addiction differs from person to person, some can go 'cold turkey', while others have such a difficult time trying to stop, and remember no one is better than another person but people always have my total support because a relapse is very possible before the end result is obtained.

    This has happened to me many times before I have now stopped and had for a year and a half, and have for two reasons, you actually get sick of needing it and secondly because it makes me more unstable on my feet.

    Hope this thread continues.

    Geoff.

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  6. Ggrand
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    18 March 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi...and everyone..🤗.

    I have a couple of addictions...I’ll do the one that’s not really healthy at all....and that’s food addiction...I will admit that I like healthy meals when I have the energy to cook them...

    I am a comfort eater...and it has to be the unhealthy foods I’m addicted to....as soon as I’m feeling down or I do something not right..my head is straight into the cupboard or fridge to find something that makes me feel better...I suppose I could say I’m being kind to myself by giving me a treat to drown out the chattering inner critic..Kind of like grounding myself for a few minutes....then another few minutes until my stomach hurts...then I have my sore stomach to think about instead of my chatting head....

    The easiest way is not to buy them, right?..A few times I didn’t..,Living 30 minutes away from any shop you would think, that I wouldn’t be bothered to travel that far for some ice cream, yogurt, chocolate etc...Wrong, I’ve done that trip a few times late evening when the shops are empty to just buy those treats....Which now I think about it..I have an addiction to food...I am not obese..but am overweight and the only way to loose that weight is to stop my comfort eating....Any suggestions how to do that will be very gratefully relieved....

    Oh I might add..that these types of food where never allowed in my home when late husband was around...and if they did..I was banned from touching them....😢

    I think to start with it was a kind of payback...like he’s not here to tell me no....so I had some fun with them....but now it’s gotten out of hand....it’s become addictive, soothing, calming...and I can’t control it properly...

    My kindest wishes everyone..

    Grandy..

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  7. Matchy69
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    18 March 2021
    Great thread title
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  8. demonblaster
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    18 March 2021

    Hi all ☺

    Firstly power to all the people that've reached their goal and broken addictions.
    Mammoth achievements and mind strengthening.

    Many thanks for your time with replies ☺
    I'll be back later to everyone at another time there's a lot to talk about.

    I realised today a crave doesn't hurt physically or mentally which is giving me a little peace.

    I was going to hide some really nice biscuits my partner bought today, he's lost some weight still going with breaks too.
    He inspired me because he was being so strong.

    So... decided reluctantly to leave them where I can see them 😲 Big inhale 😉
    I figure this torture will work for practice not caving in every look or thought.

    I can have if I want but nearly caved in thinking that way.

    It doesn't hurt I don't think not having something naughty.
    Might be different for others.
    It's more about the stress from being denied what we get so much pleasure from.
    Maybe anger and frustration.
    Do we feel out of control but actually we are taking control.

    Some good headway today was talking calmly to the crave.
    By kinda going into the thought and questioning it...

    Why did I have the thought.
    Why don't I want to.
    What if I don't have it. And reasons to give up are important too. Repetition teaches us.

    Also had a mental taste of the biscuits by looking at them and feeling while remembering the texture taste feelings of pleasure saying inwardly it's only on my tongue and swallowing that's different.
    Then walked away.
    We forget.

    Apparently a food craving lasts up to 3 mins.
    3 wks to lose the sugar crave. Wish that was 3 mins. Unsure about other craves which might also be 3 mins. I find it so hard how often they come. You couldn't hack it if they didn't back off.

    Anyones very welcome to talk here or on any forums. No pressure to tho.

    Ok good people ☺ night night 🎇



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  9. Ggrand
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    19 March 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi...

    Maybe my yummy food addiction is more of a craving then an addiction...Someone once told me that everything is good to eat in moderation..haha, how hard I’d that to do..especially when you feeling so down and you feel hungry but don’t want to cook, so that chocolate bar, coffee flavoured milk, party pies are so easy to heat up...instead of cooking healthy things.....I like that you said it’s okay to be a little naughty sometimes...

    I suppose..even though it’s easy to say, and oh so hard to do..we need to change our mindset and learn to listen to that little voice inside our head that is trying it’s best to keep our bodies healthy and not our hearts saying poof one more wont hurt...

    I craved an ice cream last night and decided to wait those 3 minutes...and started playing an Internet game instead...a few hours later, I realised I didn’t have that ice cream...and didn’t want it anymore, I felt power to me. ..wish it was easy with the cigarettes...cigarettes are a burden we have to take everywhere we go.li tried not to take them to the shop with me...I needed one, so I bought a packet..along with a chocolate bar....nearly every night before bed....I say to myself that tomorrow I will stop both of these habits/addiction...Then in the morning, with my cuppa tea..out comes my smoke..then..later through the day, a glass of coffee milk and biscuits for my lunch....

    I keep telling myself..I will stop...but my cravings are just to hard to say no too....

    Kind thoughts everyone..

    Grandy..

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  10. demonblaster
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    31 May 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Dear Pawsy hi lovey firstly I'd like to congratulate you on giving up drink and smoking too. I imagine you'd feel a lot better as a result.
    Both are extremely hard to do from what I've heard with drink.
    As you and many people have successfully achieved.
    They're mammoth achievemens.
    I hope you can kudos yourself for these yet knowing our minds in depression/anxiety it's imperative to not be believing our thoughts that we're weak useless etc.
    I commend your and many others strength and determination that we do have, it's about surfacing these qualities needed to rise above.

    It is hard picking up other addictions isn't it but milk which I can relate to would be the lesser of evils.
    At least there's goods in it including bone health Vit D.
    I have skinny milk now which is apparently 2% Less fat which isn't great shakes but that little less. I find it still tastes good.

    Foods a mighty pleasure too which I'd say addictions are.
    It's hard we need to eat to survive.

    I think by keeping in mind you've beaten two major addictions, point being you do have it in you. I believe we all do.
    By giving ourselves stronger reasons to not continue which needs serious belief in ourselves and reiterating the why nots is pretty much where I'm working from atm.

    I've had major relapses with gambling and smoking. The latter I'll be ok with being slept up now makes a mammoth task doable.

    I think we need to keep in mind we're battling mighty demons here with any addiction with different thinking we can curb it.

    If we relapse it's best not to add to depression and stress. We're human with powerful emotions and needs.

    Best not to give up on giving up.

    Importantly boredom can be a curse as well. If we can find ways to fill the time in a preferably productive way eg housework...whooptee...gardening, creating maybe cooking.. art etc our minds are occupied with a task.

    The other day when I had a smoke urge I said calmly yeah I'll have one later which I didn't.

    Opposed to the dreaded NO!...should be banned that horrid word 😄 it was ok because I didnt have the adrenalin soaked rebellion to NO!

    Bbl with replies and hopefully some more thoughts on making the path easier.

    Best to everyone ☺

     

  11. Paw Prints
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    31 May 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi,

    I think giving up the drink was easier for me as I constantly saw what it was doing & had done to my family... I was terrified of ending up the same... I'm ok with the drink now... I even have a very very very small port (about 2 tablespoons) with my nephew once a year in memory of his dad.

    Giving up the smokes was & is a lot harder... I tried cold turkey... just cutting down... making myself wait a minimum amount of time between smokes... I tried every which way so many times... giving them up for months then back on them... the habit of unconsciously reaching for one was so hard to break... even harder was my reaching for one as a coping aid... it took me years... I don't dare let myself even have a few puffs of a smoke though as I know I would end up starting again.

    One tip I got from a co-worker... when I wanted a smoke to slowly sip a small glass of water... the theory being that you are still doing the hand to mouth motion your brain associates with smoking but replacing the smoke with water... I found it did help as part of staying off the smokes.

    I also used your idea of telling myself when I wanted to have a smoke that I could have it later rather than now... that also helped me give up.

    Reminding myself why I wanted to stop also helped... I didn't just focus on the health reasons... not being constantly in debt juggling every cent & the stress that caused... was a big reason...

    You are so right about not beating ourselves up when we slip off the wagon... I found it just ended up making me smoke even more rather than try again...

    Paws

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  12. Bibbetyboo
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    2 June 2021 in reply to demonblaster
    The only thing that pulled me out of drinking and smoking was getting pregnant.
    Now wait i dont recommend anyone try that just for the sake of quitting something WOAH what a game changer.

    But to be true i didn’t have anything to live for, which is why I kept going back to the same old.
    I hated drinking by that time and smoking too even though I wasn’t what might be considered an addict of either I was using them as a coping mechanism to avoid the hollow.

    The hollow is still there but it doesn’t get much attention anymore. Its shrinking.
    I was given a new heart and i cant say that was an easy gift to accept, but my son saved my life.
    He is only 10 months old.
    I have no urge to return to my old self. I am so unattracted to the smell taste and affect of alcohol and cigarettes its like the old me has been completely erased
    And there is nothing in my opinion that is going to test that harder than being a single mother with nobody to turn to.

    Thanks for your amazing post.
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  13. demonblaster
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi and thanks for your input Pawsy 🐾 and bibbetyboo 😊 hi readers too 👋

    Pawsy I've heard giving up smokes is harder than giving up heroin. I think because the craves as you well know continue for yrs. Congrats it's a huge win.

    I've given up so often I'm not too bad now except in mania tho type 2 now it's still a strong urge and craves.

    Good hearing the yip I'll have it later worked. We tend to get pretty hairy when we say a hard no! Not easy but doable.

    Yeah I think we need to keep reiterating reasons to stop. We're not so dependant which is good and yes the extra $ a bonus.

    As with drinking you could see reasons to stop, apart from money which is big it's different isnt it with smokes. Good work hun 🤗

    Bibbetyboo what a catchy name. Thanks too for your input it's great hearing different experiences and ways of achieving goals.

    Wow very hard giving habits up when you feel you don't want to live poor darl so hard isnt it. You did tho even if it wasn't addiction it was still serving a purpose. Well done. Good hearing that hollow doesn't get much attention.

    A new hearts massive. I'm so glad hearing since you've had no desire to return to that life. Powers yours.

    Loven hearing you're dear son helped you push on. Beautiful.

    You have here at bb now to turn to hun. I'd imagine you'll meet many in the same very hard position.

    Wishing you every chance at smooth sailing and peace. This goes for everyone reading.

    As the saying goes where there's a will there's a way.

    We can!

  14. bluenight
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    12 June 2021 in reply to demonblaster
    I like what OP said, that breaking addictions is hard but so is dealing with the consequences of ur addiction. So true.
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  15. demonblaster
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    15 June 2021 in reply to bluenight

    Thanks for popping in bluenight and yes unfortunately addictions add so much stress to our and often other peoples lives.

    The good ole saying about practise. I'm off the smokes again. Who knows how many times I've given up but now although some here and there it will never be full time again. That's the plan Stan.

    It's been easier and I was a few days and another time a couple of wks back on.

    Belief in our abilities and strength that we do have goes a long way. Think it opens up our minds to other parts that allow more positive backing.

    Best to everyone and Kudos having a go.

  16. bluenight
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    19 June 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Thanks demonblaster,

    I have to get off the smokes, awful shameful waste of money. Rue the day when I first started. Given up a few times and the longest I quit for was a couple of years. Whenever I've quit about 4 weeks in I think why did I ever smoke, I feel better in every way without them. But then, I get onto them again eventually. I've only got myself to blame for most of my problems.

    Good on you though, didn't mean to be negative. I'm angry about myself

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  17. demonblaster
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    20 June 2021 in reply to bluenight

    Hi bluenight and everyone ☺

    No that's quite ok bluenight I didnt think at all you were being negative.

    The moneys insane isnt it on smokes I too kicked myself over that. It was one of the top reasons to stop.

    I think it's impirtant when tackling an addiction not to give up wanting to stop. The more reason and backing ourselves the more ammo we have.

    You did well doing it for a couple of yrs and also for 4 wk periods. You are able to do it.

    It is hard but fortunately it does over time become easier. I don't understand why but I found it easier before giving up off the lower mg. To my understanding its the tar content the lower mg.

    Stay with it bluenight. Believe and back yourself ✊

    Catch you later hopefully and thanks ☺

  18. demonblaster
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    25 October 2021 in reply to blondguy

    Hi good people ☺

    Paul hey thanks so much for your post and lovely comments.

    Well done how far you've gotten with the smokes too.

    I'd be interested hearing the mental benefits giving up smoking. I'll try to squiz that sometime on the "sane" sight and post it.

    I'm guessing a large part of addictive behaviour is down to maybe unresolved mh (mental health) issues and is a way of not fixing but escaping pain. Anything that gives us pleasure is going to be huge to kick.

    I think if an addictions not hurting anyone including ourselves it's ok. A problem is when we don't see it's an issue.

    Often is the case we deep down know it is but it's hard to admit because it's coming to terms with having to work through it. I think that'd be the starting point.

    I like the theory behind moderation because although it's still hard there's still that pleasure fix and it gives us time to adjust and adapt to learning

    Something I've touched on here that I realised in better headspace and had more impact was for example giving up smokes doesn't physically hurt us.

    Our minds even when sleeping don't stop. We're having thought process constantly.

    The good thing about thinking is eventually we forget because there's other thoughts going on too...until the damned next time of course blaghh

    But the good is the more we don't the more practice we have which helps strengthen our resolve.

    I also said mentally too which maybe isn't quite right because it does create stress but that too subsides in time. We're re learning.

    I guess if there's something constructive we can do when urges come on we'd feel satistaction at working towards something that'll give us a sense of achievement. Positive from a negative like a reward rather than feeling angst.

    We all have such a powerful tool at our disposal. Our brains are capable of unlimited things if we can learn to allow lateral thought.

    One way of that happening is when we think past our initial first thought.

    We're all capable of learning.

    That's hope 🌱 new beginnings- better lives.

    Wishing the best to everyone 😊

    Geoff I'lllll beee back...sometime good man ☺

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  19. Shelll
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    5 December 2021

    Think I have addictions. Just got to get free of them. Feels like they are holding on tight

    Will write more when I can..

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  20. mmMekitty
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    5 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello DB,

    I haven't looked into this thread until now.

    I had smoked for twenty years, & quit in 1995. & was getting into some binge drinking for several months leading up to my quitting that too, very shortly after quitting the cigarettes.

    I had reasons, & one was the money was getting beyond a joke, I loathe the idea of being in debt for anything. That's too frightening for me, so keeping myself out of debt was one incentive.

    Another was getting angry about how the people, who own the big commercial cigarette manufacturing companies had been misleading, to downright lying to their customers for many years, about knowing how harmful the things are, & thereby causing customers to think the cigarettes weren't causing the the health problems they do.

    Then, I realised I really wasn't enjoying the things. I felt I got nothing out of them.

    Finally, while I was under stress, State Housing moving everyone to other locations, to tear down where we were, & rebuilding for new tenants, I saw the place I would be living, & thought:

    😺I have a balcony! I can smoke out there.

    But when it gets cold, I won't want to smoke out there.😾. so. I quit the day I moved in, April 1 1995: a decision set in concrete.

    A couple days later, I lit one while waiting at a bus stop, & it tasted foul. That was enough.

    It was probably a couple weeks before I also stopped drinking, because it simply wasn't doing what I wanted, which was to knock myself out, & think & feel nothing for a while. Didn't work. Waste of money.

    & I would still like the taste of what I used to have, but I know, if I did have a little, I would still want more. So, coincidently, I began an anti-depressant, which the Psychiatrist I was seeing then, had told me I could have a little alcohol, but be okay, but to be careful. That's what the leaflet said too, & that was that, I guess. No 'little bit' for me.

    I didn't tell anyone where I was doing volunteer work, that I had quit smoking. (kept the drinking to myself( & they didn't seem to notice, except I was not having morning tea/coffee with them.

    Also, coincidentally I wasn't drinking so much coffee after. I hadn't even noticed that for a month or so.

    Now, ex-smoker, I can't stand the smell, or some other strong smells either. I had to clean everything I owned, or replace it. In the first 8 mnths (with a basic private health fund policy) I bought myself a bridge for my front teeth. That's som-e saving!

    The prices now!! OMG!!

    I celebrate each year.😺

    mmMekitty

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  21. demonblaster
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    6 December 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Hey Shelly and Kitty thanks for posting here.

    Shells whenever you're up to postings fine lovey. Sounds good that you're aware there could be some addictions.

    Kitty hun I'll bbs I hope to chat to you too ☺

    Anyones welcome not just here but on any threads to post.

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  22. mmMekitty
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    6 December 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Hello Shelll, ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Recognising there is something we want to change is where we start.

    Here for you,

    mmMekitty

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  23. demonblaster
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    7 December 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hey Kitty and readers ☺

    Congratulations hun on giving up well 3 things in a way including backing off on coffee.

    I'm guessing & hope the anti depressants (AD's) made a good difference for you?
    Maybe if your mental health was better less need for other things. Hope so anyway ☺

    Life's better I've found and craves do go thank goods. Our minds wander to various thought and distraction helps too till our new good habit sets in.

    One of the most effective ways of learning is repetition.
    Reinforcing reasons to help give up I thinks a major to getting any sort of resilience happening.
    It opposes the nag to keep on with the bad habit.

    We live for pleasure and want comfort which is why it's hard giving up which we're better not to be thinking about. Acknowlede it then if we focus on the fact that it usually creates stress and grief not only for us but others around us.
    Lifes often easier after.

    Some strong reasons for addiction can be unresolved mental health (mh) problems.
    It seems like a safe place.
    Trouble is it doesn't solve or change situations for the better. Opposite for the most.

    We tend to only hear follow and accept our initial negative thoughts which keeps us where we are.

    To access rational problem solving ideas by thinking further and listening to our logical mind helps no end.

    In the past I've found on rare occasions my minds made up like yours was Kitty it was easier.

    I'm determined not to cave in this mh to smokes again! Totally hear you it's the money and debt that's driving me. No life being broke most of the time.

    I've been aware of how much we allow our thoughts (the beasty bully within) to talk us into doing it because I'm agreeing that it tastes good I feel good etc and feeling it.

    If we don't challenge & redirect our thoughts it's near impossible to think of ways to get around it for a better life.

    Thought controls something I believe most of us are able to do.

    Intelligence we all have which includes being capable of learning.

    We have ability which gives us hope.


    Hope gives us reason


    Our strengths there


    For us to apply.


    We got this!


    Be back to catch up on early replies ☺












    1 person found this helpful
  24. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7544 posts
    7 December 2021 in reply to mmMekitty
    Thankyou mmMekitty
    1 person found this helpful
  25. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7544 posts
    7 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi awesome people.

    Slowly reading through this thread DB.

    It's food I have an addiction to. Maybe I took the word addiction lightly before. It's the high, the buzz, the temporary "happy "the pleasure (like you said DB) the comfort that certain foods give me. I think it is all mixed up with mental and emotional health.

    I like how you said it helps if we have reasons to give up. And leave the list near your bed DB.

    I have just got to do this, I am so very sick of it. Like Geoff mentioned. I actually feel angry at myself I think... so very sick of this. I just want out. It feels like I am held in this vice. I can't get out so it makes me angry. I have tried countless times. Got out... only to be snatched up again. Especially worse when I feel sad, alone etc

    I want to challenge and re direct my thoughts. But it's all tied up to how I feel. I need to find something else in life that gives me whatever it is I am lacking or needing. Not another "addictive" though. Food is tricky, because you need to eat. And I like cooking and all things to do with it.

    I don't have a lot in my life that makes me happy. But eating all the junk ( refined sugar etc) does. Only for a bit. Then I am now finding I need more of it to get the high. 2 blocks of chocolate instead of 1 in a day. I am unable to only have 1 piece and leave the rest for another day. Other people seem to be able to do that.

    Think it all stems back from childhood. I am not sure if it is right to blame childhood or not. I never felt loved, felt lonely and alone. I use to like going to relatives to only eat their yummy sweet food. Wished there was a different reason to want to visit. Like maybe a friendly loving connection to the actual people. But I never felt it.

    Think we need to change the pathways in our brains... Maybe you were talking a bit about that DB. It's not fully clear to me about all that.

    I tend to have a tendency towards shopping as well. Get almost the same "buzz" feeling. I only have a set amount of money. The pull doesn't seem as strong. Like I can say reluctantly no.

    1 person found this helpful
  26. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
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    demonblaster avatar
    7664 posts
    9 December 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Hey Shells your post as with everyones input is very appreciated. Hi everyone too

    I'm having a good load of thought about all this and yes one of my majors is food too. I should have an award for my food efforts over the yrs 😉

    It's often for people over many yrs if not a lifetime of habit to change. I think slow is the easiest approach with weight. True we have to eat. I'd think you're probably on the right track there Shells re from childhood. I think the main cause not to say the only one would be stress and depression because as you mentioned too you poor soul there wasn't much pleasure in your life. How sad hun 🤗 If you're ok with that hug.

    If there's not medical or physical reasons for excess weight it seems to be more about pleasure as we've touched on and for sure comfort eating taking our mind off pain/discomfort.

    I heard about sugar along the lines of it restricts or lessens the bodies ability to tell us it's had enough food. If that's not right the pleasure it gives is enough to want more.

    I feel confident I won't be buying anymore packets of smokes. Maybe the odd single smokes I've been ok to do. The times I relapse are in poor mh which is often and over a few wks mostly. I don't think the other mh probs influence the craves but Bipolar (BP) does. Otherwise I can give up fairly not easily but way less drama in "normal" times. Untold practice I'd say is why which backs up why not to give up on giving up. It gets easier.

    So I'm now working on my head to do the food. I've gained 4 of 24 kg's I've lost. Not spiffed but not the end of the world either. I'm trying not to let it take me down. Instead using the negative feelings to help fire me up to lose the rest.

    We need to stand up to our inner bullies!

    The ultimate bliss bombs are having something better than before.

    Eg; Being overweight-losing it- even on the way just a couple of kg is such a buzz. It's Inspiring.

    If an addiction puts us in financial strife like they often do, after a while having $ and not having to beg borrow steal or go without in other ways it's unreal

    Going from something controlling our lives to us having control. Not being dependent on what creates temporary pleasure but long term pain stress discord

    I'll be back Shells and all other good people including people here I haven't yet replied to. Just need to go with the flow atm while thoughts active including motivation and ideas that are rolling ☺

    If we WANT to we're more likely to succeed ⚘

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7544 posts
    9 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    You did well to give up smoking and gambling DB... to get out of its clutches. Think one of your reasons such as the money one is a good incentive. Think you may be right...Big bullies addictions feel like. Just grap hold so very tight. Gosh I am so very sick of being in my particular vice.

    Thankyou for the hug DB.

    And I wonder if only certain types of people tend to have addictions in the first place. No matter what the addiction is. Just a temporary way out of pain. But it sucks us in.

    That is great you lost weight... Definitely helps us feel inspired and encouraged to keep going with it. I have put on weight... Can tell by my clothes.

    Had sweet craving.. ended up eating medjool dates. At least they have some nutrition in them. But I think it is still an addiction to something sweet.

    I have been researching a bit on addictions. I have an ebook called the Pleasure Trap. Might be useful... Not sure yet.

    1 person found this helpful
  28. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    15566 posts
    10 December 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Hello Shell, DB, MMMEkITTY and everyone else, as soon as we aren't feeling well mentally, the first thing we do is reach out to what we're addicted to, believing and quietly hoping that a smoke or a drink of alcohol will 'make' us feel better, so we have another one.

    That's the thought that has to be beaten and we have to be able to walk past a bottle shop/pub or a shop that sells any of these to know that our addiction has been beaten and lower our heart rate, in other words, if you see another person drinking, your rate doesn't increase with excitement.

    Take care.

    Geoff.

    3 people found this helpful
  29. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    1735 posts
    10 December 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hi everyone,😸

    It's so difficult to walk around a corner & not come across a bottle shop, or pub, or where, even more commonly, where food is sold, especially the sweet things, or where you know cigarettes are sold. Just as you might go & gamble at many pubs & clubs around the place. The availability of these products is astounding.

    It's so hard to keep saying 'no', when as we know, saying 'yes' feels so much like the thrill of actually putting that addictive thing to your mouth, (or hand to pokie, or preparing to inject). The associations from one decision through each step of the activity ignites those pleasure centres in our heads. That, I think is where the real difficulty lies.

    & dealing with people who help you continue an addiction, even making excuses for you, like saying such things like, 'oh, one won't hurt you', or 'it's Melbourne Cup, for...everyone does it', 'gotta be in it to win', 'my treat', 'you deserve it' - we have to learn to recognise these ploys to keep us in with our addictions, I think, because the people saying them don't admit their own (possible) addictions.

    Feel free to add your own list of the things people say when they realise you are trying to stop/quit.

    I was in hospital for a bit, & had to quit smoking for two weeks before the operation, & I did. I might have quit then if my friends hadn't given me a pack of cigarettes when I was discharged. Friends just being friends, how could I say 'no'?

    At the time, their generosity seemed so kind, but now, given what I know about the effects of smoking, it makes me feel rather sick. What sort of thing is this to do to anyone, let alone a friend? I will not give anyone a smoke, or buy them a drink, or anything like that. They want gambling money, they'll have to get it from someone else.

    I'd be sorry to lose a friend over it, but I cannot condone giving something which has the potential to do so much harm

    But, I have accepted the occasional sweet thing from the bakery or in a cafe, from a friend, who paid for it. Whether it is for my Birthday, or because I've had a rough day, I really wish I could get through to them, & me, that this generosity is not doing me any favours.

    All I can do is become more assertive. Be firm, be direct, no joking, giggling, which would undermine my conviction, & they would find a crack in my determination & use it, open it wider, to put that yummy in. AARGH! I think sometimes, I want to choke on it, rather than eat it.

    Ditto salty yummies.

    mmMekitty

    3 people found this helpful

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