Hey Croix....I am sure I told you this once before...it was Hayley Mills! (the adoration did not continue into adulthood...I did discover men!! - still it was magic to get to meet and talk with her so many years later)

did you know Cary Grant's real name was Archibald Leach.? And did you know Gregory Peck had a lovely romance with our own June Dally Watkins who has spoken quite often about him?

Marlene Dietrich hey? "falling in love again..what am I to do? Never wanted to...can't help it".......

Dear Moon~

Yes I remember you saying you met here when we were talking about Tiger Bay, also that she was (considerably of course) older than you.

I think if my surname was Leach I"d change it too.

As an aside you were wondering about seeing your ex again. Well friendly contact with a human being is good, though I would not be surprised if the things that made him an ex did not surface again sooner or later. I guess in the meantime enjoy.

Croix

Dear Moon et al.~

Yes I'm here, and I'm not too keen on silos in small country towns at the moment, went and saw the Dressmaker, a horrible turn of events.

You quoted from the Desiderata, which I have on my wall, it pretty well sums up a lot of what I aspire to, do you think the same?

In Monty Python you need a fish licence - amazing.

I've been stretched a little thin this last few weeks, nothing bad, just a lot on at work that takes more time than usual.

Anything new on the bowling front? You have been sounding more settled recently, I hope it's true and not just a mask.

Croix

Croix Croix Croix.....

You're back! You're back! Oh joy...Oh Happy Day! Desiderata...now thereby hangs a tale. (if you can bear it) when I was 15 I saw it in a Readers' Digest and thought it was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. I typed out a copy on my old manual typewriter and stuck it in a book to keep forever. This was before it became famous and the recitation a hit record with posters appearing all over the place. (I saw it first...ha ha)

Some years later I had just begun a new job in our state capital and away from home for the first time. Feeling quite scared and lonely in the big city, knowing no-one. I was on an escalator (they call them travelators now don't they?) in a big department store when the store played over its system...this poem called Desiderata by Les Crane. The words sounded familiar. I thought "hang on, that's that old thing I have stuck in a book somewhere -" and the rest.. as they say.....I listened to it recently on U Tube - just as powerful as ever.

Yes of course I have it stuck on my bedroom door.....how did you know?

Hi Croix's evilnut saying hello hope you are well and felling great. Have had some more Good news I changed doctor recently to a Irena's D r my angle have had a few visits with her first lady DR in 58 years ( makes me sound old ) she is a ray of light in my life working with other professional Dr who is olso new as previously Dr had cancer and in on leave shock horror after 17 years he told me way back when I was under 40 makes me sound younger I like that, I had ADHA both adult and Juvenal spinout. I had just gone back to school to better myself as at the end of third year high school was asked by principal his words

( Wayne it would be better off if you got a job and didn't come back next year ) now if I was principle I would have kicked my own butt I was a bad bad bad boy turned to the dark side at 8 after a horrible expireance. Made lots if bad bad bad choices with how I hung out with was exiting no knowing back then about ADHA. You know the store. It has taken this long to get the wright help I am cool with that as I can live the next journey of my life feeling fantastic ( if like a little joke next time u shop when asked how are you so fantastic which them try to answer you and if I get asked why I say well I have all my arms and legs plus most of my faculties lol how can I not be ) I use this to feel great and spread it around. People want to know how do I get what he has because I want some. Only takes 21 days to start a new habitat (no bull ). So I am looking forward to the rest of my life, had a taste last week for two days and I liked it maybe I am a junky high on life. No I am just A simple evilnut called Wayne. sometimes I get cared away and get lost Orwell have taken up to much of your time.

evilnut out have good nite thanks

Croix I forgot to add.....no I don't wear a mask on here. I had only 2 choices really....to either get on with my life as best as possible with the sadness and grief for my pet still there..(and it is still there) or get lower and lower. As you know I was down so low, the only way was up...(I think someone already said that in a song...oh well). things still trigger that loss...and it's awful, sad, horrible.

On a long main highway I saw a creature over the side of the road that "could" have been him. Traffic was going along so fast I couldn't just on impulse pull over.. It nagged at me all the drive home. I knew it would play on my mind all day once I was home. "Could it have been him, should I have checked?."

when I was able, i did a U turn and drove back more slowly. He was still there and getting a better look saw it was the wrong colour and type anyway. I relate this just to explain how it still affects me deeply. I cry easily.

As for the bowling....God Croix, I can hardly wait to get out there again! I did mention I missed out on the team for a big tournament recently. It broke my heart, all over again. I was hoping to use it to heal from the pet grief. But it wasn't to be. there will be more...and then more after that. I just have to be patient.

Definitely not giving it up now.....its who I am. good to talk with you again....and Hi there EvilNut!

Dear Evilnut aka Wayne~

Nice to meet you. You sound as old as me:) I'm glad oyu had a couple of good days last week and hope oyu have a whole sea of them in the future. I've not had much experience with lady doctors for my MH issues, always been men GPs, psychiatrists and psychologists, dunno why. I do have a lady GP now, been a couple of years. She is an real asset, though leave the MH stuff to others.

I must have had more than half a dozen school principals, never had them speak to me at all, neither good nor bad I guess, just blended with all the rest.

I try to use this thread to get to know people and also talk about books,sic, movies or whatever strikes people's fancy (except for Moon who makes her own rules:)

So what sort of arts do you like? I love books, and have always read lots, including SF and S Fantasy.

Talk to you soon

Croix

Dear Moon~

Life make you raw but we can take it, ah...
I truly know we're gonna make it

(From Otis Clay The Only Way Is Up)

I'm glad it's not a mask and you are a feeling a bit less down, though I know you still are not over your pet - of course not. I've a feeling this up is the new social life, though you should not feel pressured by his wanting everything mapped out, just go with your feelings and "ease on down the road".

I can picture exactly the frustration not being able to stop straight away and having to take time to get back, at least he had not taken off, so you could see he was not yours. Sensible not to jam the brakes on in mid traffic too.

Weekends, well most everybody has the time off, so here is a big expectation it's a social and recreation time, and when you are on the outside it amplifies the feelings of being alone. Hopefully more bowls tournaments will pop up soon.

I still have some virtual Kleenex from the box Dotty123 gave me, so you are welcome anytime.

Croix

Hi Croix yep I am trying to put all my soldiers in a row to have the fight of ( for my life ) it been so long coming to feel happiness for so long I think, its been 8 years of some highs followed by massively low low. I use to ride competitive cycling on the road during the early 2000 till 2010 during that time, I would training twice a day were I could 40 kys in morning and maybe 80 after school or work. During this time I was so happy as I didn't have time to think. Time to think yep the.key all my training partner's an race buddy some were in there 70 Ty's all were like minded happy mind is health body. Now I have found that spark again with help of my solders most of I found wright here has been really eye opening to think in three short week's I have had Four happy days like the fonz would say heyyy. I know I have lots of challenge's to come but am getting the tools I need to be the Victoria's and take anybody else along with me. I love to help people up, my trials began in 1968 were I was abused Orwell you have heard the story bad thing's do happen to good people. I am not profoundly have just had more experience with sadness, no just kidding I read lots of self help books about champions that take others with them sports champions even the faulen one's lance Armstrong is a hero to me, yes did he do what they say ? Lance was the most tested athletic on the planet, tall poppy sindrom if you try to get ahead in life someone will try to bring you down. In Lance's case the.French hated him his so called friends that he took with him to the top of world cycling 7 tdf,s Young's world champion at just 21, world embasitor for the fight to find a cure of Cancer how can you put a price on that. Maybe just wanted to be left alone to be normal as had spent most of his life in the stop light. Any way thanks so listening to me we can chat latter cheers evilnut Wayne out 10/4 roger from all three of us lol.

Hi criss Croix;

I want to say sorry for insulting you on the tunes thread the other day. My facetious side came out and let loose. You're not an old fart by any measure of the phrase ok? My bad!

I thank you for those kind words about the lady on the train and her advice. The compliment threw me...wasn't expecting it tbh.

I hope all's well in your neck of the woods; I'm finally on an 'up' day which helps with finding energy to face the bad. Ptsd an' all that; you understand.

Do you like my new kind, green-eyed cat Avatar? She took my breath away when I saw her.

Anyhoo...I've still got a few of Dottie's cyber tissues too. I miss her as I'm sure you do too...gone but not forgotten.

Well wishes...

Sara x

Dear Evilnut aka Wayne~

I'm impressed with your cycling, there are many here who use rigorous exercise as a means of combating PTSD, depression and anxiety. There is one poster here that runs marathons and many who run shorter distances. Do you still see your training buddys?

As you say, no time to think.

I can see how reading about champions can be a big help, as can self help books. I've seen some by Brene Brown on YouTube, they are very sensible.

Nice to chat

Croix

Dear Sara~

I've been called plenty worse than that -no hassles at all. Plus you are half right (I am old:)

I think the lady was spot on, and you were wise for noticing. I guess what we value is what makes us. I'm very glad you are having an up time, I hope it lasts to now when you read this.

I'm also very pleased Corny is on the scene again. You two are very good for each other, and it's happening now when you need the support.

I do like your cat with those arresting eyes. I remember a number of your avatars have eyes one notices (Except for Sara Connor who wore cool shades of course).

I'm OK, though some recent things have been a bit taxing. I too miss Dottie and sent her positive thoughts.

Croix

Hi Croix's I have moved from were I use to race my bike unfortunately don't see training Buddy's miss those times. My ex wife and I moved about 1 1/2 hours away from were we lived to have a sea change. I have had a melt down this week all to much for me. Emailed police asking for help yesterday, last night police and ambulance turned up chatted for some time advised me I should go back to hospital? I am not shore that will help. ?????

Dear Evilnut aka Wayne~

I'm not sure what to say. On the one hand being hospitalized and away from the world for a while -plus a change of meds at the same time - made a lot of difference to me and was the start of continued improvement.

So much depends on the hospital - some public ones are horrible, your medical staff and the psych staff and nurses in the ward. The hospital stay I just spoke about was in pretty good conditions.

I'm please the police and ambulance people took the time to talk to you, any sort of kindness can mean a lot. Did you say you had just started with a new lady doctor? How did you get on?

You know there are help lines out there you can talk on if you get overwhelmed by things. It's no big deal and a human voice can make a fair difference. Our own 24/7 line on 1300 22 4636 and the Suicide Callback Service on 1300 659 467 are good starting points.

I hope you have a better night tonight.

Croix

Oh Croix. I am having a mini panic attack which I described on a couple of other threads. It's pathetic. What's wrong with me? You know what I am capable of....out there, in the public eye...so why am I so scared and nervous about everyday normal things others do without blinking an eyelid.

How did I get like this? I look at these photos of myself during a recent triumph and think "who was this woman?" Where has she gone? I need her now. She wouldn't be nervous about doing business dealings with other ordinary people today would she? People think she's capable, strong and on top of things...she isn't.

I get this overwhelming urge, during a panic...(this is only a very mini one) to run, run to somewhere, or someone "SAFE". that's the flight or fight syndrome I realise that....this is why I talk and talk on here.....as i have done this morning.....run, run, to someone I feel safe with, to be with....so sorry for dumping this all on you my friend......sorry sorry sorry.....I am no use to anyone else on here...I have no help or advice or support to give....I am too weak myself. i can't even help myself,...what makes me think I could possibly be of help to others? I am wasting everyone's time.........please forgive me........

I am embarrassed about my previous post earlier today (above)...me having a mini panic attack...not a pretty sight......I am OK.....

Dear Moon~

I'm glad you are OK.

First I'm sorry I was not around, I wish I had been. Hopefully in other threads (I've not looked as yet) there were friends to talk with. I'm pretty certain that will have happen because you do have lots of friends.

Secondly please stop saying sorry, there is absolutely no need to do so. Panic attacks are a bit like being hit with a truck - very powerful, overwhelming and frightening. So reaching out in that state is natural - a basic human need. Don't give you post another thought.

The lady in the photo is you, but seen from outside, as if by another person, inner feelings masked. You are all the strengths she is, so pick a role for your business transactions.

You know how to deal with these attacks - I use breathing (4-2-4), move physically away to another area, think of something distracting and know you have survived OK before.

Croix

Dear Croix.....I'm writing this mainly to keep this thread of yours alive....someone's gotta do it! I like it....don't let it fade away into nothingness. We don't have the same taste in movies do we...or very rarely anyway. am I right in saying you don't like unhappy endings or too much trauma and bad news in the story?

But you can quote from Oscar Wilde (and Noel Coward too I think. ) they were geniuses. Another genius of the modern age is Neil Simon.

I LOVE Neil Simon's movies....worth watching for the one-liners alone! Have you seen Only When I Laugh?...starring his former wife, Marsha Mason? It was based on a real life famous stage actress - Maureen Stapleton. Marsha also starred in 2 others of her husband's....Chapter Two (based on their own marriage) and The Goodbye Girl. Just some interesting little off-screen facts that make the movies even more interesting........is life going well with you Croix? I hope so. You have been good to me.....cheers.....M

Dear Moon~

I heartily approve of keeping this thread going, even if we are the only customers at the moment.

I must confess I've not seen that much of Neil Simon and no live work at all. The three that spring to mind are The Odd Couple, Barefoot In The Park and my favorite, Murder By Death, which is really a classic, having so many of the actors I enjoy and shots at just about every detective ever written.

It's true I get unhappy watching gritty realism nowadays, quite a change from before. Applies both to fiction and non-fiction. About the grittiest show I've watched recently is Edward Woodward in Callan. I'm watching his 1990 next. The Equaliser does not rate as gritty at all.

I just remembered, I used to watch the Phil Silvers Show (Sgt Bilko), I think Simon wrote that too.

"I like a sporting-event in which I know the outcome before-hand, it's more organized"

Yes my life is getting back on track after a really bad last week (was away from the Forum as a result)

Croix

Hi Croix,

I just read this...

Yes my life is getting back on track after a really bad last week (was away from the Forum as a result)

and thought grrrrr (that's my angry Mum face which not even Walruses are immune to). Why didn't you ask for help?

Just because you are a champion doesn't mean you suffer quietly. You help us we help you isn't that the deal my friend?

Now seeing as I have no idea who you and Moon (Hi Moon of the tight leggings and boots and general sexiness 😊) are talking about I'd better butt out of this discussion.

Seriously though support goes both ways. One word in the circle thread or mine or the cafe or here... Help.

Take care of yourself please Croix.

❤ Nat

Dear Nat (I/m so used to calling you Quercus)~

Look, you are right in a way, I did need outside help and in the past have asked for it here -and I've been amazed at the number of caring generous people that have helped, sometimes even when it has tended to trigger their own conditions.

This time my reliving of the past and all the rest of it was brought about by something specifically here in the Forum which really hit me - it happens a bit from time to time, this occasion was far worse. I talked it over with the people that provide my medical care and we decided a complete break for a few days was the way to go. Basically distance the trigger and go for distraction.

Things quietened down and I'm back and building up towards where I was.

Your care means a great deal and helps - a lot.

So thank Nat, you are a pretty good fox

Croix (and no, Walruses are not immune to an angry mum face:)

Hi Croix,

Ah dear me and my big mouth 😊. I hit post and then worried it may have been something like that. And then felt bad for the angry Mum face. Hubby calls me the water claw... I'm not good at being angry. I'm not sorry for caring but I probably should have thought a bit more first.

I'm glad you are on top of when it is time to seek help and that you had support. That is a good lesson to learn I think. To know when you need to walk away and protect yourself.

I left you a pick me up in your happy memories thread.

❤Nat (I quite like Quercus too so either works for me).

Dear Quercus/Nat~

I'm glad you posted - all good, I'm grateful

Croix (who has no idea what a water claw is)

Hi Croix, Water claw, Moon and all readers,

It's great to see the lively discussions here and that you, Croix, have been taking a much needed break. Great stuff; the empty (or overflowing) cup does no one any good ;)

This has nothing to do with anything but I finished reading Patti Smith's 2010 memoir, Just Kids , yesterday (I highly recommend it btw). I did kind of bawl at the end but overall, it's a beautiful memoir.

She mentioned various musicians and artists that orbited around her including Janis Joplin and Andy Warhol's entourage. I looked up Janis Joplin because of the book and WOW???!!! Her voice, the passion and the emotion is indescribable. She was a true star! Sadly she was a star that faded away too soon...

On a more contemporary note, as I like to mention 1000x, I have been obsessed with Kesha's song, Praying. The emotion behind it is so powerful especially when she hits the "whistle" note.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper xoxo

Dear Croix.....sorry things took a downward turn for you due to a trigger somewhere on Forum....I didn't know , but at times have felt the need myself to walk away for a little while...take a short break...from reading about, and writing about my "problems".....need at times to concentrate on the good, healthy, lovely things in the world instead......glad you mentioned Murder by Death...I had forgotten that one...Yes wasn't it hilarious?

A coincidence you mention it now....this week was the anniversary of my father's death....he loved movies and particularly loved watching them with my (then young) boys...he adored my boys and vice versa. I recall one of the very first they watched together back when VHS came out... was Murder by Death. I can see them all now, sitting around his kitchen table, laughing and eating and drinking. A quote we loved was by the French detective upon seeing his empty plate..."there is nothing in my dish but my dish".

We've been out at a restaurant and my now adult son, or I will catch each other's eye and quote it. Others think we are quite mad with no idea what we are talking about....ho hum...memories!!

"Buns?? You bought buns and didn't tell me? Where are they? Where are the buns???"

Hi Pepper,

I've heard you mention 'praying' and I tried and tried to listen to it all the way through. But I can't stand it. Bring back the old Kesha high as a kite 😁. I'm curious though not being musical like you what am I missing about it?

PS Croix water claw referred to needing a 'firm' hand and being a pushover the moment the kids were sad.

Hi Moon,

I love your memory. It reminded me of sitting with my mum and sister and watching Cold Comfort Farm and giggling "there's something naaaarrrrsty in the woodshed". I'm sure your son treasures those memories too. 😊

Hi everyone,

Quercus- thanks for giving Praying a go even though it wasn't really for you ; )

I don't think your dislike has anything to do with being "musical" or not; I think music is its own language with many dialects. So sometimes it speaks to us and other times, well, it doesn't and this will vary from person to person...like someone else could love a song but I might not like it (and vice versa). I think it just comes down to personal preferences.

I like Praying because it speaks to me; tugs at my heart. It's an emotional connection...but of course not everyone will connect with the same song ;)

Moon- thanks for sharing that cherished memory. Gone in person but immortal in your memory. You must miss him so much...

kind thoughts,

Pepper xo

Dear Pepper, Quercus, Moon et al~

My goodness there is a crowd here at the moment - pretty good

Pepper I listened to Praying which sort of reminded me of a less reflective song, Woman, Dusty Springfield.

Now Janis Joplin is an old favorite, she was surprisingly versatile, from a lovely version of Summertime (Cheap Thrills) with a fantastic rich supporting instrumental though to the fun Mercedes Benz (Pearl) which she sings a cappella and is comedy with a sting rather than her normal power.

Nat, Cold Comfort Farm is excellent. the quote no limits are set, either by society or one's own conscience, to the amount one may impose on one's relatives could have been one of Wilde's

Moon I'm glad your son shares the same memories and sense of humor, plates, buns and all. A common entertainment heritage and sense of humor is something I enjoy with my son, brings one closer

You should not speak with an accent when you know I'm so hungry.

Croix

" You ruin mushroom story! You'rrrrrrre idiot!!"