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Forums / Depression / Do psychologists check emails on weekends?

Topic: Do psychologists check emails on weekends?

25 posts, 0 answered
  1. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    7 May 2022

    Hi in anyone's experience, do psychologists check their emails from clients on weekends?

    I messaged mine tonight and said I'd thought about harming  tonight. I didn't, but the thought ran through my head. Made me wonder if psychologists monitor their emails on weekends, even if no reply until Monday?

    Makes me feel like I'm alone and how does my psychologist not not know I'm not serious?

  2. geoff
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    geoff avatar
    16466 posts
    8 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    Hello LJpd81, this is a question that's not easy to answer, because all psychologists are different, whereas some may check and not respond, while others leave work to Monday to Friday and week ends are left free for them to try and enjoy life.

    Some psychologists don't want to give their email address to anyone, simply because they don't want to be bothered, just the same as most doctors phone number aren't in the phone book, they are all silent numbers.

    Instead they would hope you were able to ring Lifeline 131114, or other 24 hour help lines, a close friend or 000 where you can be taken to a hospital for your own safety, never the less, you can contact your psychologist on Monday.

    We are here to talk with you 24/7 at any time when you want to talk and please stay safe.

    Geoff.

    2 people found this helpful
  3. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    8 May 2022 in reply to geoff

    Thanks very much.

    I've regularly emailed my psychologist from the beginning. She would email me homework and other helpful things before my next session.

    I've always emailed as I feel it is easier for me to put my feelings on paper.

    She doesn't reply after hours or weekends. She replies during the week when she's able to. 2 weeks ago she did email me back after hours.

    I guess it made me wonder, as I emailed her urgently again last night. I thought surely she would monitor her emails for nutcases like myself and just in case if in danger.

    I understand no replies on a weekend. But in my screwed up head, I was thinking last night, does she care, why did she not reply this time?

  4. mmMekitty
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    mmMekitty avatar
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    8 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    Hello LJpd8,

    This has bothered you enough to post here, asking us the questions you want to ask your Psychologist, so you have serious concerns.

    I think the next time you see her could be a great opportunity for you to have this discussion with her, directly. You could include how you feel so alone & have the thoughts that she doesn't care, & isn't there as much as you feel you need her, &, of-course, about how serious those thoughts about self-harm are. & what you can do when you have them.

    You could also ask her, in the event you are at risk of harming yourself, what you need to do. She can teach you ways of dealing with the thoughts & feelings. That's what her job is: to teach you what you can do for yourself.

    How your Psychologist is supposed to know if you are seriously at risk or not, is if you have talked to her about how you feel.

    There are also other services, such as BB's own Counselling Service, 1300 22 46 36, anytime to talk to a counsellor.

    Or, Lifeline 13 11 14

    Or, The Suicide Call Back Service, 1300 659 467

    &, if you ever, at any time, feel you are unable to stop yourself from harming yourself, that is extremely serious, so, you need to call 000.

    & we'll be here on the Forums, too.

    mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  5. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    8 May 2022 in reply to mmMekitty

    Thank you. We did write down a safety plan at my last session. Thing is I haven't dine any for months. But lately I've been going down hill and lately when I'm sad or frustrated, first thought is s/h. Which I haven't. The delay technique does work. By that time I've calmed down.

    I have used those help lines in the past and definitely great resource.

    Good idea to talk to my psychologist. I doubt she doesn't not care. I suppose probably just simply doesn't check her emails on a weekend. I did know that. But in my mind last night, when I felt extra sad, it seemed like she didn't care. Which I suppose was silly of me.

    I had a chat with my best friend last night which was helpful.

    I've emailed my psychologist admin and going to see if I can get in tomorrow I hope. Good idea to tell her my feelings.

  6. mmMekitty
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    mmMekitty avatar
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    8 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    Hi LJpd81,

    Thanks for that - I'm so glad you have some resources you trust & can rely on. You are indeed, strong & resilient. I get the feeling you are coping better than you think!

    I have noticed in myself, how while some feelings may be very intense, if I just let them be intense, cry & such, & let them be, they do calm down. I don't really have to do anything more about them, but grab my tissues, & maybe, curl up in bed for a bit. When I see my own Psychiatrist, I may talk about them with him, then.

    I've also used my writing to get the feelings into words, & in a way, out of myself & onto the paper. I don't always need to show anyone, only needing to do it. I have found it very helpful, just naming what I feel, & this seems to make the feelings more managable.

    & remember, when you next talk to your Psychologist, this does not have to be the one & only time you get to talk about these feelings. I'm sure you will have more discussions with her into the future. Don't worry, well, not too much - tough now, but it does get easier. 😼

    I wish you all the best.❤️

    mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  7. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    8 May 2022 in reply to mmMekitty
    Feeling so depressed tonight. I just want to cry. I feel I have no right to feel sad. I feel so deflated. I'm cooking dinner right now. Just feeling very low.
  8. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    8 May 2022 in reply to mmMekitty
    Thank you for your kind words
  9. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    9 May 2022

    I'm sitting in the waiting room waiting for a breast ultrasound.

    Feeling a little anxious.

    But also feeling lots of feelings like anxiety,sadness,anger because I haven't heard back from my psychologist yet. She will reply sometime today but I thought honestly I'd have a reply by now.

    I'm thinking what if she doesn't want to reply and am I being paranoid. She's probably busy.

    I know it sounds bad but I'm thinking of having a few beverages this afternoon.

    And i know it sounds childish but i had thoughts of emailing and saying cancel my appointments and i will be ok on my own.

    I tried getting an appointment for today but receptionist said none available today.

    Nothing can shake my mood today and I'm not sure why I'm so hung up and upset on my psychologist not replying.

  10. Bob_22
    Community Champion
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    Bob_22 avatar
    49 posts
    9 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    Hi LJpd81, sorry to hear its been difficult for you, especially over the weekend. As mmMekitty mentioned, there are some great resources available if you're feeling acutely unwell.

    Responding to your question, it depends on the psychologist. Its not at all uncommon for some clinicians to delay in responding (sometimes weeks) simply due to the workload that they're facing and it rarely has anything to do with the patients themselves. For example, I've emailed my psychologist a few times (for small issues granted) but he has only replied to one of those emails. I generally make a note to bring up the other emails at the next appointment. And as mmMekitty pointed out, some psychologists do not provide their email address at all. It really depends on the clinician and their caseload I believe.

    Usually if I still have a few weeks before I next see my psychologist and need to speak with somebody, I will sometimes make an appointment with my GP for any help/guidance. If not just to get things off my chest.

    Hope that provides a little reassurance.

    Bob

    1 person found this helpful
  11. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    9 May 2022 in reply to Bob_22

    My psychologist doesn't reply to every email and says she can't.

    But she does reply to most when she can.

    But the receptionist emailed me and told me that my psychologist is actually away sick today. So that makes me feel better actually to know that's why i haven't heard anything today.

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Bob_22
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    9 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    Hi LJpd81,

    Thanks for your reply. Good to know you have a little reassurance. Hopefully she will get in contact soon or you can debrief with her in person shortly.

    Best,

    Bob

    1 person found this helpful
  13. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    9 May 2022 in reply to Bob_22

    I would say I will hear from her tomorrow.

    In my head, I was thinking earlier, does she hate me, did i do something wrong. Really self destructive thoughts. Once I realised she was not in the office and sick, I felt better.

    I still have feelings of that I was that close 2 nights ago to s/hing and still curious if she monitors emails just in case someone was in a bad place.

    I do feel better now. Have some wine. Had a chat with my mum about a holiday we're planning. And my breaet ultrasound went well. Nothing bad, phew!

    1 person found this helpful
  14. geoff
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    10 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    Hello LJpd, we are so pleased about the ultrasound results, a great relief for you as it must have been an enormous concern and definitely a great worry for you to address.

    I am also delighted that the receptionist emailed you, to tell you that the psych as away from sickness.

    We also tend to believe that our doctors/psych's/specialist's should never get sick and disappointed when this does happen, especially if you aren't feeling well.

    Can I ask where you plan on going for your holiday.

    Geoff. x

    2 people found this helpful
  15. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    10 May 2022 in reply to geoff

    We're planning a cruise from Hawaii to Sydney in 2 years.

    Yes I did hear back from my psychologist today and just felt so depressed all day at work.

    I feel like who can I turn into for if I tell her that I will or want to or have s/h, she will tell my husband .

    I know it's destructive behaviour but i bought wine tonight to make me feel better.

  16. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    10 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    I meant who can I trust and turn to? I need to be able to have someone talk to, without the fear that my husband will find out. I feel I have a dirty secret.

  17. geoff
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    11 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    Hello LJpd, thanks for getting back to us.

    The important part is that you did hear back from your psychologist and because you did email her, then she must know that something is troubling you more specifically.

    It's uncertain whether or not she will tell your husband, first she has to be able to contact him and this may not be possible.

    Has she set up an appointment with you straight away and know that drinking wine may seem to be the solution but please be careful.

    Take care.

    Geoff.

  18. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    11 May 2022
    Who tells your psychologist everything?

    I have a question. Do you tell your psychologist everything? Like do you tell your psychologist when or if you have self harmed? Do you stop at what you can, cannot confide in your psychologist?
    I've been seeing my psychologist since late July / early August last year. Was doing well but lately coming undone again and depressed.
    I tell her everything. I even emailed her the night I did something bad and she tried to call my husband. He missed the call thank God. So he still doesn't know about the s/h incident that night. I don't know what I expected, but I didn't think through how stupid I was and that she'd contact my husband.
    She rung me to check I was ok. I was.
    At my session the next day, i had an emergency session, we made up a safety plan , which I don't intend to use. She said she has a duty of care.
    Now I'm worried, what I can tell her, as I trust her so much! I want to tell her everything still. But what if I do hurt myself, and I want to tell her?
    I email her a lot with my feelings and she replies most time in work hours , except the time 2 weeks ago, she rung me after hours, as she was worried.
    Do I still confide in her?
    I can talk to my best friend, except same thing. She told my husband I was sh last year as she was worried. I was mad at first but then realised she meant well. I told her the other night, sh was on mind again.
    I can't tell my husband or family, as they'd worry.
    I feel tortured in my mind, my never ending bad and depressing thoughts.
    I used to be so happy and positive. Today at work I just wanted to cry, I felt so low!
    And feeling like I'm living a double life. No one knows my thoughts, except my best friend and psychologist.
    Do I still talk very candidly to my psychologist? I trust her a lot

  19. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    16466 posts
    11 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    Hello LJpd, yes you do need to tell your psychologist, don't forget they are trained and qualified and have seen many different people with all types of conditions and if you have been s/h then they would notice by the clothes you are wearing, especially in summer time and the look on your face when you move around.

    Please remember, we go to see a psychologist to help us with the way we are feeling, we pay them for the session and if we decide to hide what is troubling us, then we won't achieve what we were aiming for.

    Sorry I mean well.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  20. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6830 posts
    11 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81
    Dear LJpd81,
     
    We are sorry to hear that you are feeling that the trust you have built with your psychologist is in question. You have stated that you have trusted her in the past and still “trust her a lot”, this is fantastic as many people find it difficult to get a psychologist they trust or connect with therapeutically. We would always encourage maintaining this relationship and discussing any issues or concerns you may have with them at a follow up session.
     
    In you post you mention ‘Duty of care’ that the psychologist gave as a rational and this is true for any mental health professional, as they must put your safety first. Unfortunately, this does mean that if you have identified a safety concern and they are unable to confirm your safety they may seek to engage with your next of kin to do this. Please do not look at this as a reason to hide details or not be honest, this is your psychologist putting you first and doing what is in your best interests. So please openly share these ”bad thoughts” with your psychologist as best you can, and trust that they are there to help.
     
    We hope that this helps to alleviate some of your concerns.
     
    Warm regards
    Sophie M
    1 person found this helpful
  21. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    11 May 2022
    Thanks so much. That makes a lot of sense.
  22. mocha delight
    mocha delight  avatar
    551 posts
    12 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81
    Hi LJpd81 I may not of s/h although was very close once I just I’d say to you I’ll lend you a listening ear if you’d ever like to chat to me about something’s if you’d like to despite me being a stranger to you 🤗. And I’ve emailed my psychologist once although can’t remember what it was about but she replied back by the next day. I’ve also sent a text message to her work mobile to once and she got back to me by text message at 9pm that night (I’m mostly a night owl /and or barley sleeping anyways so her getting back at me 9pm that night did not worry me at al.
    1 person found this helpful
  23. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    12 May 2022 in reply to mocha delight

    Thanks very much appreciate that.

    I'm doing the wrong things that I know trigger my bad emotions, but I can't help it. I'm drinking as it makes me feel good. Had thoughts of harming again today

  24. LJpd81
    LJpd81 avatar
    254 posts
    13 May 2022

    I'm feeling so alone.

    Despite a positive email I wrote to my psychologist this morning, saying I would not drink. 

    I'm drinking and feeling teary. Probably because I despise myself when I drink.

    I'm happy when I drink, yet so sad at the same time. I love wine, but most times I end up in tears.

    Not to mention my husband is not happy I drink and the look on his face when I do drink, like he's disappointed.

  25. Bob_22
    Community Champion
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    Bob_22 avatar
    49 posts
    16 May 2022 in reply to LJpd81

    Hi LJpd81,

    I hope you were able to hear back from your psychologist after your email.

    Sorry to hear about the impact that drinking has on your life/relationship. Its a difficult cycle to break and often takes several attempts from my family member's accounts. There is some great info available on the BB main webpage under ' Drugs, alcohol and mental health' if that interests you.

    Also remember if you ever feel at risk and can't get hold of your psychologist that there are crisis services available (as you're probably aware). They are great resources and most services provide great follow up if you're still unable to see your GP or psychologist. Main ones I know of are:

    Beyond Blue support service 24/7, either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat

    Lifeline 13 11 14

    Suicide call back service 1300 659 467

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