dear Long Road, unfortunately you seem to have the depression genes, which is so sad, being handed down the line to you, you didn't ask for it, and don't want it. it's just that there was a 50/50 chance from getting them.
I know how you feel as I was given OCD, but my twin didn't, ( and good luck for him ) and like wise this has gone through generation after generation.
You have had to struggle with this silent illness, because you had to care for your father and brother, and that would have been an enormous job, and an unthankful job, not knowing what the next day will bring, but you have to consider yourself as a lovely lady to manage all of this.
You may not have known as an adolescence that you actually were suffering from this illness, but now it comes in waves, and if not treated these will become much bigger and then sweep you off your feet, and cause depression to be full on.
You need to get some professional help, it's your turn now, your 24 and soon to be married, so it's very important to overcome your depression before you do get married.
The doubts you have about getting married are because of your depression, and you have known your boyfriend for 8 years, so you have been through a lot of good times and also all the traumas, but now this is the biggest problem that you are facing.
Your so young and it really upsets me to know that at your age or even younger, that this illness has taken control over you, and is affecting your life.
I'm not sure whether you can make up your mind about marriage at this stage, because depression is confusing your thoughts.
I don't know how your boyfriend feels about all of this, and whether he makes a decision only you really know, but the main point is that you need to see your doctor a.s.a.p, because with taking medication this may clean your mind, I hope so. L Geoff. x