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Forums / Depression / tayla (robthomaslover)'s thread.

Topic: tayla (robthomaslover)'s thread.

21 posts, 0 answered
  1. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    10 April 2022

    i wasn't sure where to put this. i did have a thread but i won't want to look back on it & participate in it anymore as some of the things on it were triggering for me.

    i just made this thread, hoping to find people to talk to, of any age, gender, etc. since i'm lonely & depressed. the only help i get is a psychiatrist once a month & i had to pay this time because of the stupid telehealth company lying to me, & i'm still waiting to get money back on medicare from it.

    so yeah, i guess this thread is just to try to socialise with others. i don't really know the purpose of it.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. HamSolo01
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    HamSolo01 avatar
    881 posts
    10 April 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    hey robthomaslover

    i have seen you around the forums here and i think we have spoken before and chatted. I do hope you are okay this evening. Loneliness and isolation hurt. It actually hurts us physically and emotionally. I am experiencing it a lot these days but i sometimes think it could be different given it was self imposed in the end.

    I am of the view that it's hard in this day and age to be a real human. I think loneliness is everywhere now.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Maddeline
    Community Champion
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    Maddeline avatar
    37 posts
    11 April 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Hi robthomaslover,

    Thanks for making a thread like this. It is definitely something we have been needing. I think you are also showing a great message, that if a thread begins to trigger you, to leave it and possibly start a new one.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    11 April 2022

    hi hams & maddeline.

    this thread was just somewhere for me to vent, so my own thread, not anyone else's. people are welcome to reply of course but i meant it's a place for me to share my struggles if i wish to.

    2 people found this helpful
  5. Croix
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    Croix avatar
    10917 posts
    11 April 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Dear Tayla~

    I'm really pleased you have started another thread, having just the one you don't wish to return to rings a bell with me (I've probably mentioned that to you before)

    I think venting - or as I put it simply relating what has happened and how one feels - is very much a basic human need, drawing one closer to others and relieving a bit of tension in oneself.

    So please, do vent here when you feel like it, you will be met with care and understanding and undoubtedly will help others who read of your experiences and find they are not alone

    Croix

    2 people found this helpful
  6. geoff
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    geoff avatar
    16197 posts
    12 April 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Hello Tayla, the purpose of any thread is to open up and get different ideas from other people, the actual name and meaning of this thread can completely change as it progresses in time, that doesn't matter at all and may happen because other people can take what's written in another light, or a different way, so to speak and that's good, it gives another perspective to the thread.

    Take care.

    Geoff.

    2 people found this helpful
  7. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    20 April 2022
    i haven't really felt like replying on here lately. i've just been bored & lonely but that's nothing new.
    2 people found this helpful
  8. HamSolo01
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    HamSolo01 avatar
    881 posts
    23 April 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    hey tayla

    empathise with you

    1 person found this helpful
  9. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    13 May 2022

    hi all. sorry i haven't been around on the forums for a while. things have been very tough for me.

    back in Feb, i can't remember the date, i saw my Psychiatrist. normally i'm bulk billed meaning i just click "digitally sign" on a form & it goes to Medicare or whoever, so i don't pay a cent.

    however, this time i was charged $600, & all this chaos. i did mention that to the telehealth company & i did get what i was out of pocket back, all of it, eventually. they also told me that Medicare are no longer doing Telehealth in Regional Victoria where i'm from, which isn't true, as there's been ads on radio & TV saying it's permanent around Australia, so idk where they got that from? so lying to me & playing on my vulnerability.

    there was more to it than what i wrote but my head isn't clear right now, so. anyway i saw him again on the 1st April, & i wasn't rude or agressive, i just told him the things that happened. he got annoyed with me & hung up on me, & i haven't heard anything since. yes it was deliberate not bad internet or a mistake.

    he was very rude & unprofessional, not "i'm sorry, we'll address your issues one by one then move on" or anything like that. just said "it's a free country, if you want to see someone else" & other rude things.

    i was not rude at all, i just told him what happened. i was not agressive or yelling, or anything bad. he knows he's the only help i can get for numerous reasons, & i've seen him since 2019 with no issues until now.

    so i don't know if i'm still a patient of his or not, but i've been very hurt & depressed over this. my suicidal & dark thoughts (yes i'm safe, i just get thoughts of wanting to harm myself, or worse, to myself only, nobody else).

    i don't know what to do. i don't have any help anymore, professionally, it seems. & i've also got some trouble breathing with my lungs & like a wheeze, but i don't feel ill or anything. maybe it's the cold weather, i don't know.

    i don't bother seeing doctors anymore unless i need a prescription but i can do that on an app, order a repeat one. they just rush me out the door & make me feel like i'm a burden whether i have a physical or mental issue.

    so i just give up with everything, i'm just really isolating myself, well i always have. i go out to get food & go for a walk but that's it.

    yes it may sound stupid & like i'm not helping myself, but honestly, i just give up. i don't know what to do anymore.

    it may sound like i'm overreacting i know, but i'm truly hurt by this. i'm tired.

  10. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    13 May 2022
    sorry i made an error with that. i meant to say it was April 1st when they charged me $600, then i saw him on May 4 when he hung up on me.
  11. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    10917 posts
    13 May 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Dear Tayla~

    I am not surprised you feel like giving up. Psychiatrists are people we open up to and that means we have placed our trust in them, and in return expect to be treated in an effective, civil, professional and understanding manner.

    You have had this person for years, and now when they turn around and hang up on you it must have come as a great shock. There is no way this should happen. Even if you had been venting (and I'm not suggesting you were) then a professional would let it all come out and listen calmly - not take it personally and hang up.

    A client in distress is what they are there for, and if they can't handle that then they realy have no business being there.

    If it was me I'd consider he had severed the connection and I was no longer a client of his.

    I know this leaves you stuck, all I can suggest is that you see if you can find another therapist, maybe again having to visit a GP to do this - not a very palatable thing (though you might mention your breathing at the same time). However you mental health is the most important thing, and I found I could not do without medical assistance, you would have more idea about your own needs of course.

    I'm not sure about Telehealth, new rules were supposed to come into effect on January 1 this year, but I think some of them were to remain until July. You would have to ask your provider. Mine are still going.

    The health system itself is not that good, particularly in rural areas such as I live in, and basically very confusing.

    You might appreciate the irony in "The Compassionate Society" in the Yes Minister series.

    I'm glad they refunded you that huge gap fee, it is an awful lot to find particularly unexpectedly.

    Going for that walk sounds a good idea - do you have pleasant scenery to enjoy?

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  12. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    13 May 2022 in reply to Croix

    hi Croix. i did see a GP, well 2 (i stopped seeing one at the same clinic cause he was also rude & unhelpful), & another at the same clinic. i contacted the psychologists etc that they recommended, never heard a thing, even with them doing referrals for me, and me contacting the therapists myself, they only had emails.

    i don't know if i'm still a patient of his. i can't contact him personally, have to go through the telehealth company and they pass things onto him, for example if i send an email, and they let me know his response.

    it would be hurtful if he was a new or relatively new therapist to me also, but the fact i've seen him for years and gained trust and shared personal struggles of mine with him and to get treated like that.

    i was not rude or abusive or aggressive in any way to him. all i did was say what happened. i wasn't threatening or anything, i swear. if i was i could understand him hanging up but i swear on my life i was none of those things.

    even if he had a bad day, that is no reason to take it out on a patient, mentally ill or not. i don't know what to do. i don't really want to go through the trouble of finding other therapists whether a psychiatrist or something else.

    i did see a social worker but i just stopped seeing her for a bit, i couldn't try seeing her again, i had no issue with her and she was polite. plus being a woman i felt more comfortable.

    he did say he'd make me another appointment but he hasn't and i'm worried if i call they'll say i can't see him anymore and he doesn't want to see me.

    sigh.

  13. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    13 May 2022 in reply to Croix

    i guess i could try contacting Medicare or something like that regarding the Telehealth, so get it from the proper source.

    with him, i guess i could call the Telehealth company. i guess he can't just drop me unless i consent to it & if he gives me a proper reason, but i would have to say i agree to it. he can't just drop me like that. but i'm scared regardless.

    i'm trying to think there may be good things come out of it if i don't see him anymore but it's difficult.

    i guess i would've got a call, email or maybe something in the mail if he dropped me as a patient, i haven't received anything. but like i said i'd have to consent to it.

    i have the right to choose who i do and don't want in my care, and so forth. i'm aware of my rights.

  14. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    3277 posts
    14 May 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Hi Tayla. 😺

    I am appalled a Psychiatrist would treat any patient, under any circumstances, so unprofessionally.

    You have the right to question the amount you were charged. Obviousl, you were charged more than you expected. Past records would show that, too. Indeed, talk to Medicare, contact the telehealth service, (& tell them how the Psychiatrist hung up on you when you tried to talk to him about it), & your GP ought to be able to help you, too.

    An important question for you is, do you want to try to work with this Psychiatrist into the future?

    I note, you are using a telehealth service. I haven't used one, so please forgive me if I don'tget this right. I understand, you go online, to the telehealth service & search for a Psychiatrist? Do you still need a referal from your GP to see the Psychiatrist you choose? Does the telhealth service have other Psychiatrists you could see?

    Whether or not you see any Psychiatrist is your choice. If you want to keep seeing them, I think you can show what your choice is by making another appointment yourself. If you try, & they refuse, well... not a Psychiatrist for you, eh?

    I hope the problems can be worked out, so you wouldn't have to think about finding another Psychiatrist. Even if you can sort this out, how much of your trust in them has been lost? I know how much it takes to trust someone, such as a Psychiatrist, & how much it hurts to have that trust betrayed. I've had that happen to me. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

    So,

    * Medicare,

    * the telehealth service,

    * your GP,

    * & I'd even consider writing a letter, on paper, (if you have a mailing address for their physical practice), which sticks to the facts, & including a copy of the bill. & asking them to explain or amend the bill.

    * If possible, I'd, calmly as I could, tell them how I felt to have them hang up on me. That's more important, I think, than hearing them excuse their behaviour, or give what might sound like a meaningless apology.

    * Or, there's always the daunting step towards making an official complaint. Just try googling something like, 'make an official complaint about a psychiatrist Vic Australia' . I think doing that you will be able to find out more about this option.

    I hope next time, we talk something lighter. 😸

    Or let you vent, uninterrupted? & we can chat elsewhere.

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    mmMekitty

    2 people found this helpful
  15. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    14 May 2022 in reply to mmMekitty

    hi. i've told them about the issue with the billing, i have gotten the $600 back. i got about $400 something back on the Medicare claim, & now i have the rest i was out of pocket, $193.65.

    i don't know what to do about the Psychiatrist. i was referred to this Telehealth company & i chose him myself. yes there's other Psychiatrists but i've heard bad things about them. i haven't had an issue with mine until now.

    i guess he can't just drop me as a patient as he could get sued for putting a patients life in danger (as they could do something to themselves), malpractice, etc. plus it would have to be a mutual agreement between the patient.

    but i'm still stressing & anxious about it. even if he was relatively new to me i'd still be hurt. but the fact i've seen him for this long & it happens out of the blue i find more hurtful.

    & yes as far as i know, a Telehealth company referral is just like a MHCP, you can choose who you want to see & whatnot. it's just through video through something on their website.

    the physical address of the Telehealth company is in Tasmania but he's in Sydney. confusing i know. but they have professionals who work from all around Australia in that company.

  16. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    10917 posts
    14 May 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Dear Tayla~

    It does sound very worrying about clarity on the intentions of that psychiatrist and if you can get no-gap telehealth wiht psychiatrist via that company.

    If you can I think the fact you have an Australia wide choice can't be bad.

    I guess I am wondering why you do not lean on a social worker if you have the chance. You did say you knew of one you were comfortable with.

    I guess the reason I bring it up is a lot of what you face is hard to do alone.

    We really would like to know how you get on

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  17. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    14 May 2022 in reply to Croix
    i don't know about seeing the social worker again. i've had bad experiences with every psychologist i've seen unfortunately. my parents said call to see if i can make an appointment to see the psychiatrist on monday, even if i change or cancel it. i only see him once a month which we both agreed on but i still knew that i was still a patient of his. and i don't want to go through all of the trouble trying to find a new therapist of some kind. i try to keep things to myself and not rely on therapists. but then i'm also told it's not good to bottle things up, so i can't win. i made an appointment with a new gp on tuesday, well i mean she's relatively new to the clinic. i can't see mine for 5 weeks, and the one i saw before her (stopped seeing him cause he was rude & had 7 months off) for 3 weeks. she was the only one that was available really. for my lungs that is. i'm anxious because i've cancelled appointments because of my anxiety at the clinic before, so i'm embarrassed to be seen there. & anxious because it's a new person. and like i said i guess he can't just drop me because i could do something to myself. i'm not saying i will but it could put me in danger. i'm safe yes i'm just saying. i did look up other doctors clinics but none around here are taking new patients. i'm very depressed lately but that's nothing new. i just watch my old British sitcoms. & since you said about Y(P)M, that episode is one of my favourites. i know i may be sounding stupid & being overdramatic but it's just hurt me. the psychiatrist knows he's the only professional i can see for numerous reasons. i have honestly tried everything i can for myself for my mental health, trying to get support, trying to make friends, trying to do something with my "life", etc.
    1 person found this helpful
  18. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    10917 posts
    15 May 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Dear Tayla~

    I guess the basic problem is if one health professional acts in a way that loses your trust it can spread to feelings of distrust with many, it's only natural as one tends to be reminded how reliant one is.

    We already know there is no way your psych should have behaved as he did, and if he knew you options were limited that makes it even worse. Sadly it boils down to power. In many cases they have it and the client does not.

    I remember many years ago my first wife had multiple conditions and regularly saw the only specialist near our rural area. By coincidence he was one of the officials in a organisation at which she worked and he'd spend all of the consultation talking about organizational matters. She complained to me so I went along with her to her next visit, but we got absolutely nowhere, he said much what your psych said to you.

    As he was the only one around, apart from very long expensive trips to the capital city, she was stuck.

    Hopefully in you case things might not be as cut and dried, if you do go back it is more on your terms as you do have the possibility of choice..

    Do you think that going back you will be able ot trust, or do you think it might be better to start afresh?

    I've been extremely lucky, with GPs and psychs I've mostly found excellent, in fact only 2 psychs I've had to give up on.

    I hope you have good luck with your new GP. As I just said there are certainly good ones around.

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  19. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    15 May 2022 in reply to Croix
    yeah i'm not sure. the GP is just once for my lungs, and maybe a follow up appointment. sorry that this is a quick blunt reply, i'm just not sure what to say really
    1 person found this helpful
  20. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    10917 posts
    16 May 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Dear Tayla~

    No worries, one of the nice things about this place is you are never obliged to talk, and only need to say something if you feel you want to. True, that can generate silences, but that's OK.

    Hope the GP assists in improving your lung condition.

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  21. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    319 posts
    17 May 2022

    saw the doctor today. my appointment was at 1:15pm, didn't see her until about 2 or nearly 2. & they say they work hard to limit the wait time, lol no they don't.

    they couldn't find anything wrong with me & said i was imagining it. she was the only doctor i could see, i couldn't even see one in my actual town, & other doctors clinics don't take new patients.

    she had one of the doctors there supervising her, i didn't like either of them, found them rude & dismissive. they gave me a form for a chest x-ray but that was all. checked my lungs but didn't find anything & checked my pulse although the thing they put on your finger blew up, the first one.

    my old doctor, the male one, was in the same waiting room, he walked past a few times & gave me filthy looks while i was waiting.

    sigh. i think maybe i should try to look for another clinic. i had to book an appointment for her next Tuesday but i don't even know if i'll go whether i get the chest x-ray or not.

    i'm sick of being made to feel inadequate. i honestly give up with any sort of professional. i did the right thing & went to the doctors as much as i hate it. sigh.

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