This is never going to end,is it.

Im doing everything that I can think of to help myself manage my symptoms of depression and anxiety, I’m seeing a psychologist..I have a toolbox full of cbt tools, I’m aware of how I’m feeling and things that trigger me and I’m on antidepressants. It’s been 3 years since I developed depression and 16years since I’ve been conscious of my anxiety.

I just want to take myself away and not have to speak or interact with anyone, maybe I just don’t get to be better than this. Maybe it’s ok to stop trying to work this out, because to be honest, it’s exhausting and I’m tired of it.

Other people live solitary lives, are they just brave enough to be themselves, I just think that’s where I’m at now.

I force myself to go to work, pharmacy, and it’s destroying my head. Im not financially secure enough to give up work, and up until now I never wanted to, but I really struggle to get myself in there.

I feel like I’m on a never ending cycle of feeling bad, getting help,feeling better, feeling worse etc.

I don’t believe anymore that I can get better...I think this is it.

I have lost my happy thoughts.

I have lost hope.

Hi Mumma Ky

The hard and sad truth that in my opinion is not talked about nearly enough is that, sometimes despite excellent professional care and dedicated hard work from a person sincerely trying to get well, symptoms of depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses persist for some people. You are not alone.

This is knowledge that I have painfully gained over the past ten years supporting my child, who experiences OCD and anxiety, as the fight for her long-term mental health is a seemingly never ending battle. I'm very sorry that this exhausting struggle has also been your experience to date. Hugs to you.

Please never blame yourself. Just as you did not cause your illness, you cannot control it.

I don't know your future and I'm not a doctor, but I would like to suggest that you consider your current situation may be "as good as it gets" but also add the word, today. As good as it gets today.

There is always hope for a better future. A fresh treatment plan, a different approach, new medication, lifestyle changes, finding the right support--any or all of these things can change your outlook. I know it's hard to even contemplate climbing the mountain again, but when you're ready I encourage you to plough on and discuss your possible next steps with your GP.

And please post here anytime. Our community will support you.

Kind thoughts to you

Hi,

Thank you for sharing your feelings. It takes a lot of courage to open up and seek support. You have been strong throughout your whole journey, why give up now? I promise things will get better. Just need a little more time.

Try something new, do hobbies you enjoy, and go out of your comfort zone.

There are so many support systems to help you.

Stay safe and i am always here to chat.

Hi Mumma Ky,

Never loose hope because one day you will get through to the end of the tunnel.

Mental health conditions are a journey the journey can feel like a marathon.

Just keep persevering…..

I had a marathon of a journey with OCD I was in the grips of this condition for quite some time but I recovered.

I seeked a lot of professional help for what I was experiencing it lead me to a therapy that specialised in my condition and it gave me all of the tools I needed to break free…. But it took a lot of practice and perseverance.

Some days felt like they went for ever but I’d just tell myself tomorrow will be a better day and it usually was.

Can I ask if you have been diagnosed with anything in particular regarding your anxiety?

You CAN get better……. Stay positive

Im here to chat to you

Hello Mumma Ky, yes this is a terrible illness and by saying sorry doesn't really relieve you of any symptoms you may be experiencing, but when we do say it, we mean it in all honesty and as Summer Rose has said 'there is always hope for a better future', however, sometimes this can't be achieved if you try and keep the same livelihood as when you were suffering, because too many triggers may spark a reaction.

Try and change what you do, a different routine, a new lifestyle and how you approach life, that's how I managed and I have OCD, I did a 360 degree circle because my previous life wasn't convenient anymore.

There are still days when I feel off, but these days are becoming very few and far between.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hi Mumma Ky,

Your post is exactly how I am feeling at the moment also so I can relate and sympathise with where you are at. I have never felt lower and have lost that hope also.

I just wanted to drop by and mentioned a sort of “metaphor” of sorts that has been told to me recently that may help.

Basically…when you lack hope as I am recently as well it has been told to me to think of it like this….sometimes when you wake up and go to work on a cold/foggy morning and jump in the car and start driving there’s fog blocking your view of the road further along. Eventually though as you keep driving the fog starts to dissipate and you see the road more clearly but only if you keep driving along. As silly as it sounds it has been told to me to just keep “driving along” do your self help exercises/practices and eventually that fog will clear.

The fog may come back but it will always clear if we just keep ticking along.

Keep posting on here when you need as this has been a source of great help to me, you will be ok I know it!