This is never going to end,is it.
Im doing everything that I can think of to help myself manage my symptoms of depression and anxiety, I’m seeing a psychologist..I have a toolbox full of cbt tools, I’m aware of how I’m feeling and things that trigger me and I’m on antidepressants. It’s been 3 years since I developed depression and 16years since I’ve been conscious of my anxiety.
I just want to take myself away and not have to speak or interact with anyone, maybe I just don’t get to be better than this. Maybe it’s ok to stop trying to work this out, because to be honest, it’s exhausting and I’m tired of it.
Other people live solitary lives, are they just brave enough to be themselves, I just think that’s where I’m at now.
I force myself to go to work, pharmacy, and it’s destroying my head. Im not financially secure enough to give up work, and up until now I never wanted to, but I really struggle to get myself in there.
I feel like I’m on a never ending cycle of feeling bad, getting help,feeling better, feeling worse etc.
I don’t believe anymore that I can get better...I think this is it.
I have lost my happy thoughts.
I have lost hope.