G'day BB, I've just signed up to ask a few Qs and get some pointers.
I think I might need to stop working for a while but this is something I can't support financially and even just saying it makes me feel like I'm just trying to be a lazy sod.
I keep sinking into this abyss where I can't get off the couch and I'm either barely sleeping or sleeping all day. The longest this has lasted would be about 6 weeks. Sometimes it's only a few days but it has commonly been for a week or two.
I've been aware that I'm dealing with depression and anxiety for the last 5 or 6 years and I'm a tough nut to crack because I'm not very good at talking about my situation, I'm not very self aware and I find it difficult to articulate my experience. Anyway, I have tried a few different meds, I've had heaps of counselling sessions and have tried my best to form healthy mindful habits. I know exactly why I'm down. So I guess I'm lucky like that but I don't really want to get better, I just want to get better at managing this new life.
A family issue exploded into my life while I was studying chemistry. I was a High Distinction student with only 2 units left. I couldn't concentrate and failed on each of 5 attempts to finish my last 2 classes.
So I got back to work, and I've had 6 very good jobs over the last 5 years. Concreting, metal fabrication, teaching assistant, tuberculosis research, pharmaceutical quality control and an operator in a rendering plant.
But this abyss keeps calling and every time I lose a job I lose a new group of friends and a little more of my self esteem. Job hunting is difficult for everyone right now, I understand but it's a long hard process that really doesn't make one who has just lost 6 good jobs feel very good about one's self. And to be perfectly honest I am tired of failing.
But I have no idea how to approach the topic of accessing centerlink without sounding like I'm trying to be a bludger. I don't even know how to get started. See a doc? Ask them to refer me to?? Can they just take my bloods and assess whether I'm depressed enough to take a break from working? I don't know what to do.