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Forums / Depression / What do you do when you've already tried everything?

Topic: What do you do when you've already tried everything?

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. furey
    furey avatar
    1 posts
    1 July 2013

    Everyone always says it's so easy to get help - well, not in my experience. It seems to me the only way you actually get help is if you actually do something drastic. But that's not what this is about.


    So, you've ended up in hospital. You've seen the doctors, done the therapy, and now...you're exactly where you were before, except now, there isn't any illusion of help and getting better. Now you know that you've tried and it didn't work. What are you supposed to do?

  2. The Real David Charles
    The Real David Charles avatar
    1014 posts
    2 July 2013 in reply to furey

    Dear Furey,

    The medical people call the limbo between one admission and another "maintainance".   Knowing the triggers that will engulf, the relapse signs that will stir mental health and the various therapies that sometimes work is the best thing.

    I've had 31 psych admissions and a couple of suicide attempts.   I've been fairly careful and still had to get help.   All I do now is take things day by day, enjoying the hours when I can be productive or creative.  Walk my dog.  Enjoy the community.  Be a bit of a fast food champion.   I don't know how you spend your days but something's gonna work for you in the end.

    I'm not sure what you want.   If you had cancer you would expect a few severe treatments, a relapse, a further problem, more radiation, etc.   If you have a serious illness you can either let it dictate your emotions and lifestyle or fly in the face of this brutal disability and make the most of things.  Why give the illness so much authority ?  Why be the victim ?

    I've never heard anyone say "it's so easy to get help".  Most mentally ill seem to avoid it or have families that tell them they are OK.  Only last week a neighbour even told me "there's no such thing as depression".   That's why it should be about you and your dreams, hopes and aspirations.   The psychiatric admission is only a band aid.  It's the real world that is the real tonic.

    Adios, David.

  3. S.A.D.
    S.A.D. avatar
    265 posts
    2 July 2013 in reply to furey
    Look at the meaning behind these two famous quotes, and try to put them together in your mind:

    • "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."  - Sherlock Holmes
    • "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results." -Rita Mae Brown, Narcotics Anonymous (Most people will attribute this quote to Albert Einstein but there is no evidence to suggest that he made this statement)

    What do you see?

    Firstly, I see a situation where you believe you've exhausted all options. You believe it hasn't helped. You believe future attempts at therapy will be equally ineffective.

    I also see someone who has misinterpreted the quotes above, and misinterpreted the goal of therapy.

    The first quote is about looking for solutions to the problem that do not clearly present themselves, like Sherlock would do. He would deduce from the evidence that there is something he is not aware of, and look for that which has been concealed. Are you concealing something from yourself? Is there something you don't want to look at, because it could be too painful? I am, but I can admit that. I know there are parts of me that are hiding from my conscious awareness.

    The second quote clearly states that if you repeat an action over and over, your likely to get the same result. How many times did you participate in therapy? Was every therapy session exactly the same? Did you explore the reasons for your hospitalisation?

    Please continue therapy. If you're out of hospital, go private. It is not expensive. The first 10 sessions with a psychologist should be free, or close to free, if you get a MHCP from your GP. Be patient. Results are small and gradual, but after a while you can look back at how far you've come and say "wow, this really works!"

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Couch Dracula
    Couch Dracula avatar
    10 posts
    2 July 2013 in reply to furey

    The only thing we can do is keep trying. You've got to want to get better in order to get somewhere, which means continue looking for the answers no matter how long it takes.
    Who knows if we'll ever get "better" maybe one day we'll just realise it once we're there?

    x

  5. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    14456 posts
    5 July 2013 in reply to furey

    dear Furey, this is the biggest problem when it comes to overcoming depression and the struggle we all have to try and conquer.

    It's never easy, and even though you have overcome this illness, if that's possible, it still leaves a scar that will remain with us for ever.

    We go from one therapist to another one, to try and have a repoire with them, because if we don't then we are wasting our time.

    It's a matter of being able to click with them, and if that's possible, then you will be able to improve, only because they understand how we think, they must know what is important to us, and subsequently what's not.

    It's also important that we can talk about anything and not hold back, if we hold back from them then we aren't justifying our session, so it's a waste of time.

    They have to know just about everything, so they can get the full picture of our problems.

    I have seen psychiatrists before I eventually ended up seeing my psychologist for 20 odd years, and none of these psychiatrists have any affect or connection with me, I was uncomfortable, and I wasn't going to waste my time travelling 3 hours return trip.

    You can tell within a few minutes whether or not you will be able to relate to a psych., it's in their eyes and in their smile, if by any chance that happens, or the expression on their face, and if they continually look away from you, they are no good for you. Geoff.

  6. Matt2043
    Matt2043 avatar
    1 posts
    10 July 2013 in reply to furey

    Hey Furey,

    I have been asking myself the same question recently. When you have been in the system for as long as we have, it's hard to see any hope.

    For me the pattern seems to go like this:

    * I feel very down and have a relapse

    * I see a GP who refers me to a psychiatrist

    * I see a psychiatrist who doesn't seem to care too much. Blames the relapse on the tablets and decides to change my dose. 

    * I go through hell adapting to the new tablets and go back to see the psychiatrist for a follow up

    * I am told to "up my dose" and that will fix me. Patted on the head and sent my merry way.

    * Feel the same and go back to my scheduled fortnightly appointment

    * Am told again that it must be the dosage, told to take more, sent away

    * Give up ... ride the wave for months, weeks, years whatever. It passes for a while if I am lucky

    * I relapse again and in the depths of despair I go back to my GP and the entire cycle continues.


    This has been my life for the past 10 or so years. Yes, there has been psychology sessions thrown in there but I don't feel any of the CBT sessions have helped me. Changing thought patterns and meditating may work for some, but not for me.

    You watch ads on TV that say "it gets better" and you don't believe it anymore ... 

    Which brings me to Facetious's post with the quotes, and funnily enough when my Mum encouraged me to make an appointment with my GP today, I thought of that quote, and wish I had of remembered how it went:


    Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results." -Rita Mae Brown, Narcotics Anonymous 


    It does seem insane to me to go through the system again when it has failed time and time again.

    Which makes me think ... what is it I am missing here? What am I overlooking? How can I tackle this differently? I don't know. But I am guessing you are in exactly the same boat.


  7. S.A.D.
    S.A.D. avatar
    265 posts
    12 July 2013 in reply to Matt2043

    My profile picture is not there by accident. Change something.

    There are many types of psychologists and many therapeutic techniques. No one psychologist is able to provide all types of therapy, but most can do most. Try something other than CBT. 

    I'm currently receiving Hypnotherapy. The process is very slow but with sufficient dedication to the process, is almost always valuable and highly rewarding in more than one way.

    1 person found this helpful

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