Thanks for the detail and thoughts , but ahhhh, don't know about incredible sd, enough to keep moving when l have to is about it.
Work's huge though 30yrs of being my own boss the only way you get anything pay anything or bills or get anywhere is to just do it. So l often call life my boss bc it kicks my bum to keep moving. So that's one angle work wise but l like what l do to and often look forward to starting new jobs but it's often also my escape from thoughts worries or depression to, that chatter you talk about, it takes me away. l also love traveling across state to pick up a new job love the trips, most of them anyway so that's a thing also. But l do often get bored with the jobs near the end and now finishing one if l get like that, that is shear discipline for sure, but also when life kicks in to bc if it isn't finished l don't get payed. So nah it's not money as such but def' money to pay bills what l need and hopefully save a little to nonetheless.
My gf says to l have a lot of energy to but l dunno, l can couch for wks but at other times l just feel like doing things so might be doing a lot for a wk or two, then crash. During depression though l sometimes do try to push myself, force it, hoping it lifts me or distracts, or improve thoughts or serves some sort of satisfaction, or just make me feel good. And yes of course, inside and out which all leads to mind heart soul and spirit , and maybe even some temp happiness to hey.
ldk about you though but when it comes to having to force it l do know. l've never been a forcer it's just something l'm trying last few yrs, l'm not sure if l like or if it helps, there's catches. l use to just avoid and stall, until l either just couldn't any longer or simply just got past it and fire returned. TBH, l think that works better for me than forcing if l have a choice.There are things though like say kayaking, l know the water will fix me if l just make the effort to get there, driving-same, getting out into the yards and sun, stuff.
l often argue with myself about pushing or forcing bc sometimes life and l have worked just fine if l just be still instead and l it's also good for us in all those ways , to just be still , or to not feel like it , or to just let go for awhile and stop , l know l def; need it.
l agree with you though and daresay l'll keep wrestling with it all, or maybe l;ll just revert back to being lazy and still when l can for as long as it takes.