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Forums / Grief and loss / I have never dealt with losing my partner and now 9 years later i cant handle life anymore

Topic: I have never dealt with losing my partner and now 9 years later i cant handle life anymore

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Anonymous #2639
    Anonymous #2639 avatar
    1 posts
    21 June 2021
    I was 18 when i lost my partner, i then lost everyone around me in the following years, some people stayed longer than others. I have never been able to accept what happened and now i am the deepest darkest hole i have been in for years. I now have a fiancé and a daughter which in all honesty are the only reasons i am searching for help rather than just giving up. Please anyones input or help is aappreciated. I have gone to therapy and councillors, and never been able to go back to the same person more than twice. I've been prescribed medicines and coping methods, and all have made things worse, leaving me in even darker, more withdrawn places. I dont know what to do anymore.
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5948 posts
    21 June 2021 in reply to Anonymous #2639
    Hey Anonymous,

    Welcome to Beyond Blue forums. We know how hard it can be to reach out  so thank you for having the courage to do so. It sounds like you have been coping with these dark thoughts for a while but please know that you don't have to go through this alone. Even when things are feeling at their darkest, please know that there is always hope, and our kind community are here to help offer as much support as you need through this time. We are also just checking in with you privately via email with some extra support.

    Loss of a partner is one of the most difficult experiences one can go through and to go through this at a young age of 18 sounds incredibly hard. And to then go through subsequent losses would be even more challenging.

    Are you or have you seen a mental health professional about what you're feeling or have you talked to your GP about this? If not, would you be open to this? If you'd like to find mental health support options, you can reach out to the understanding counsellors at our Support Service, who are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or also through Webchat (1pm-12am AEST) if you'd feel more comfortable talking online:  We would also really urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), who are also here for you 24/7, night day, as often as you need to talk these feelings through.

    Thanks again for reaching out here and being so open and honest with your feelings. We hope that you can find some comfort here, and please feel free to continue updating us on how you're going, whenever you are ready.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3085 posts
    21 June 2021 in reply to Anonymous #2639

    Hi Anonymous #2639

    Welcome to the forums and thank you for deciding to join us and post today. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your partner; it sounds like even though your life is moving forward with a fiancé and a daughter it's still incredibly painful.

    The last thing that I would want to do here is to echo everything you've been told already that hasn't worked for you- so do you want to tell us about some of the coping methods that you've tried, or what your therapy experiences have been like? I've always felt like with mental health there will be things that work and things that don't, and both of these are okay. Although a lot of the time there's this idea that if something hasn't worked for you, there's something wrong, when it might just be you haven't clicked with either a good therapist or a good coping skill yet.

    It sounds like your fiancé and your daughter are kind of your reasons for being here right now, so hopefully by being here we can help you find more reasons and get you out of this dark place, or sit with you in it if that's what you need too.


    1 person found this helpful

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