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Forums / Grief and loss / Is it normal to feel relieved

Topic: Is it normal to feel relieved

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. aisha123
    aisha123 avatar
    2 posts
    5 July 2020
    My cat liked to spend a lot of time playing outdoors. My biggest nightmare was always her getting lost out there, or getting hurt. It was the source of a lot of anxiety for me and there were multiple times where I cried thinking she was lost if she took too long to come back inside. On top of that I tend to catastrophize and always had this impending fear of the pain it would cause me to lose her because she meant so much to me.

    My cat got hit by a car and passed away yesterday. Amongst all the pain I feel a weird sense of relief about not having to feel continuously anxious about her anymore.

    I can’t help but feel selfish or heartless for feeling relieved. I really hope I gave her the best life possible and would do anything to hold her again.
  2. jess334
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    jess334 avatar
    394 posts
    5 July 2020 in reply to aisha123
    Hi Aisha,

    I'm so sorry that your cat has passed away.

    I think it is very normal for you to feel relieved as well as sad.

    I can tell you loved your cat very much. So much that you spent a lot of time being anxious about her.

    The relief you are feeling is directly related to that anxiety. You most definitely are not selfish or heartless. I think its the exact opposite! You are so full of love that you worried about your cat non stop. You are allowed to be relieved you don't need to worry about that anymore.

    Kind thoughts, Jess

  3. missep123
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    missep123 avatar
    873 posts
    5 July 2020 in reply to aisha123

    Hi aisha123,

    I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened. It sounds like you loved your pet so much.

    I agree with Jess, your relief is linked to your anxiety and does not mean that you are heartless at all! My previous pet had seizures and a heart condition which meant that we had to put her down. Amongst the grief I also felt relief. Relief that my pet was no longer in pain but also that I didn't have to worry and be anxious all the time.

    In my own personal experience when my pet passed, it meant that it was out of my control and for once I wasn't anxious about it. When the thing I feared the most happened, I was so used to being worried and anxious about it all the time that when it actually happened I was weirdly calm.

    I used my own experience to try to not worry so much (easier said than done) but I really do believe our pets teach us life lessons that make us grow and learn.

    I'm here for you!

    1 person found this helpful

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