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Forums / Grief and loss / Losing my father during this pandemic

Topic: Losing my father during this pandemic

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Ace.x-ray
    Ace.x-ray avatar
    8 posts
    21 June 2021

    It was about 6 weeks ago I lost my father. How did this unfold? Well first of all on a Thursday night, 6th May , my mother and myself were watching T.V when my sister, who was at work, got a call from the nurses from his nursing home and has said to us he will go into hospital tonight. This was due to his personality changed recently, 2 weeks after, he had a little cold, stopped talking and was eating properly. the next day my mother and I went to see him in the morning when he was in hospital, the doctors and nurses were looking after him, a few minutes later the doctor looking after him told us they were monitoring and taking tests to see if something was wrong. then they next few days his results came back and she, the doctor, said to us he had pneumonia, kidney failure and had trouble swallowing food and water.

    He was in hospital for 8 days, most of my family and family friends came over to visit him. Mind you he was completely blind so he couldn't see, he would always sleep and move around, make noises, he was bed ridden. 4 Days in our immediate family decided to take him off the medication and let him go to comfort care. Then on the 13th May he passed away at 10.30am. It was another tough week after his death we arranged a Lao traditional Funeral wake. which took a few days until the funeral.

    It was hard losing him, my mother, sister, myself and my brothers family were having a hard time dealing with the loss of our father. I am still having trouble accepting it as I have severe depression, and his death made it worse I don't want to go out or talk to my friends. My father was 71 years, had diabetes, suffered 2 strokes and survived he also drank a lot of alcohol before becoming very ill and going to the nursing home. I dream about him most nights and I don't know how to handle it. It is strange not to go visit him at the nursing home and bring him treats or take him to his appointments.

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5917 posts
    21 June 2021 in reply to Ace.x-ray
    Hi Ace x-ray, 

    We are so sorry to hear about your loss. It must be terribly difficult to be holding the grief for your father at this time. Thank you for being brave and for sharing your experience and for reaching out for support. We think that it must have taken a huge amount of courage to do that. 

    If you feel like talking to someone you can always call us on 1300 22 4636. Our team a fantastic listeners and can help you find strategies for the moment and can help point you towards further support if you feel that would be useful. 

    Please feel free to update us on how you are feeling if you feel comfortable. This community is made up of people that understand and who want to support you.  Kind regards, 
    Sophie M
  3. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    307 posts
    21 June 2021 in reply to Ace.x-ray

    Hi Ace.x-ray,

    I'm really sorry to hear about what you and your family are going through at the moment, and my condolences for the loss of your beloved father. I can only imagine his passing to have devastated you and your family. Please take as much time as you need to grieve, and that there's no need to go out of your way to talk to friends. But if you ever need someone to talk to, your friends and family will always be there to support you. You're more than welcome to have a chat here as well.

    Take care Ace.x-ray, and we'll be here for you.

    Jt

  4. Angel1979
    Angel1979 avatar
    5 posts
    27 June 2021 in reply to Ace.x-ray

    I am sorry to hear this. My lovely Dad passed away very suddenly just after his 70th birthday in 2018. Three years on and the pain hurts like yesterday.

    I still feel depressed, so I'm not sure what to say apart from I hope you're doing as well as can be expected under these circumstances.

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