I am so sorry for your loss. You have lost a lifelong friend, family member and dearest companion.
Quirky has said perfectly everything i would like to say.
I'd like to reiterate that you should go very gently with yourself over the next weeks and months, i know you're feel it's going to be even harder over Christmas and you that you said your cat loved Christmas - but he will be with you in spirit over this time. I truly believe that.
I totally understand that he was not just a pet. He was your best friend, companion, confidante ... and you will probably miss him always.
When my most treasured dog died last year, it was actually the saddest i have ever felt in my whole life. I have lost humans and gine through trauma during my lifetime, but the pure and utter sadness i felt when my dog died could not be compared to anything I'd ever experienced. They are so so special, loyal, unjudgemental, and they love us unconditionally. It is a truly special bond.
I am still in deep sadness over my dog, and it has been 14 months, but i wanted to let you know what I've done to help myself over this time.
I am lucky enough to have a space to have a garden behind my house, and i was able to bury my dog in my backyard. Since he died, i have created a special garden dedicated to him and all the special and beautiful times i spent with him. The flowers that are blooming there and the plants that grow there are actually part of him, his DNA is part of their beauty (his body lies beneath), and it is a place i can sit and be with him, in a different form, and love him still. And it allows him to still be a physical part of my day, i can smell his flowers and brush my hands along the soft feathery foliage he is putting forth for me.
I wonder if you have a place that you could do something similar fir your cat?
I still ache for my darling doggy most days. The garden I'm creating doesnt take my pain away, but it creates a space for my loving energy to be channelled.
Very warm and caring thoughts to you ❤❤🌻🌻 birdy