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Forums / Grief and loss / LOss of self and other impairments

Topic: LOss of self and other impairments

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. Flower Earth angel
    Flower Earth angel avatar
    76 posts
    17 March 2022

    naricssitic abuse taught me so much

    but changed me miss old hobbies and feeling safe

  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16437 posts
    17 March 2022 in reply to Flower Earth angel

    Hello Flower Earth, if naricssitic abuse has been affecting your life, I am truly sorry and it can vary depending on how long you can endure this type of relationship and may happen when the person abusing you only cares for themselves.

    It can affect you in many ways, such as, isolating you, making it difficult to make any decisions and make you feel as if you have done something wrong and these could cause you to miss the hobbies you once loved doing.

    I see you have been posting before and I do remember your name, but when you are able to get back to us, that would be really good.

    Geoff.

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Flower Earth angel
    Flower Earth angel avatar
    76 posts
    19 March 2022 in reply to geoff

    its 2 am and it makes my heart smile a little

    when i see a message from someone here

    thanku

  4. Flower Earth angel
    Flower Earth angel avatar
    76 posts
    19 March 2022 in reply to geoff

    ye si have am so burnt out and im on ndis

    that even if i wanted to i wouldnt be able to

    meet new people and try hobbies

    im 39 in aweek and i am wondering what my goal i sif i cant marry

    and have kids cos of the trauma

    its really scary feeling this way

    going out of the house makes no difference.

    i mainly use the bible to cope everyday

    i know this is the new me

    cos in therapys ive tried

    i didnt even understand wat the goal was.

    how can ther ebe a goal with grief and disabilties

    u cant really ever accept what you have lost

    i do alot of gratitute stuff and pray

    and today i bought my nephew a present again lol

    i didnt take my ex to court cos of spiritual reasons

    but if it was someone else and his ex wife did

    they would of done alot

    im not on any medications just one but coming off slowly as it doesnt help at all

    there is no energy to work i can barely have a shower or eat cos im so tired and fatigued.

    survival mode is just so hard.

    i dont think id want a roomate its small here.

    just dont know wat people do being single forever

    i guess just grieve and think about life :)

  5. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16437 posts
    19 March 2022 in reply to Flower Earth angel

    Hello Flower Earth angel, thank you for getting back to us.

    Sorry but I'm not religious but you are entitled to be if that's what you feel helps.

    As the medication isn't helping you are you able to visit your doctor or another one and talk about other types of medication that may benefit you, I remember I had to try at least half a dozen AD's before the doctor found one that could help me and have been taking it for many years.

    Being single in life can develop many different tasks to fulfil, I was married for 25 years but have been single for close to 20 years and every day just flies by and instead of choosing what you usually do, change your mind and start doing other tasks that you feel you would enjoy, because if we are stuck in trying to revive our old tasks the chances of them not working are high, that's why trying to do something new may help you.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Flower Earth angel
    Flower Earth angel avatar
    76 posts
    19 March 2022 in reply to geoff

    i havnt found doing new things helpful with the grief and impairments got worst

    thanku for ur message

  7. livi_mivi
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    livi_mivi avatar
    55 posts
    23 April 2022 in reply to Flower Earth angel

    Hi Flower Earth angel,

    Thank you for coming on to the forums, I'm really glad to hear that you can find comfort here!

    It sounds like what you are going through is really rough right now and I'm sorry to hear that you have been subjected to an individual and negative situation that has really changed your life. Being exposed to narcissism can really make you question everything from who you are to what you do. I find that they can really break you down to the point of having to rediscover who you are. I think it's important to be kind to yourself and recognise that what you are going through was rough and life changing.

    Do you feel that you have anyone in which you can confide in and reach out for support too? I know that you might have been or felt isolated from a lot of people so it could be a good opportunity to reconnect and have that human connection to remind us of who we are. It's good to hear that you can find solace in your faith and that you are trying to pick up both old and new hobbies. Maybe engaging in a good book or connecting to support groups for people who are going through the same thing as you might also spark new ideas of ways to heal.

    I think a lot of the time people assign grief to death but it really can be experienced with any type of loss. We can experience grief when we lose a relationship or in instances when your life changes drastically. There is no trajectory or normal way to deal with this and it can take many years for people to find meaning and escape "survival mode". I've found that when I have been struggling I really need to ground myself and think about the now. How can I care for myself in a way in which I would care for others who are struggling? What needs do I have right now and what are some healthy ways in which I can fulfil them.

    I really wish you all the best in your healing and encourage you to reconnect at any time!

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