I’m not sure where to start and it might seem trivial to some- but I lost my best mate almost 3 years ago. He was my Dad and my heart ached today just like it did on the day I lost him. I’m trying to make sense of it. Why now? I honestly think I would like to join him

Welcome to the forums Trying to beat it, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage.  We're so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. We understand how devastating this is and how painful these emotions can be even after three years. It sounds like your father was a valued part of your life and we can imagine it must've been very difficult to cope with his loss. Please know that you do not have to do this alone. A few of our members should pop by and offer you some words of kindness and advice. It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out. We'd recommend getting in touch with Griefline - 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way. We hope you'll find our valued forums community helpful as this is a safe, non-judgmental and supportive place.

Hi and welcome to beyond blue.

firstly let me echo the comments made by Sophie_M - I can tell from your post the relationship between your father and yourself was very close and special, something to be cherished.

You posed the question Why now? Some questions are difficult to answer. The grieving process may occur after the event, or the much later. There is not set timetable either. For today, it could have been a sound, a smell, or something that triggered my memory. Whatever it was, for you is also normal. Sophie_M provided information on some groups to get in touch with - talking to your friends perhaps asking them for support and perhaps a local support group. There are ways to get through this period of feeling low. Other people here will also lend their support to you.

Listening to you tell your story,

Tim

Trying to beat it,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for making your first post.

Sophie and smallwolf have made helpful suggestions.

My dad died over 13 years ago and I miss him each day. What I found helped me was to write a letter to him, I did it on the computer and tell him how I was feeling and things that were happening in my life. It helped me as I felt he was part of my life , I wrote for a couple of years and now I may write once a year. It really helped me in those first few years.

It is hard but I found including him in my life by writing to him helped me.