Dear R.B. Tony has made some excellent suggestions, the poem is a great one too. I think the hardest part for you is getting over the anger and guilt you have about not being there for your dad before he passed away. Losing your mum would've been devastating, you and she had a special bond that will never really disappear. Your parents do live on in your children. We don't look on our parents as people in their own right. They're just always going to be there, therefore when we lose them, it's hard to believe that they're still only people. I'm not trying to make light of your grief, please don't think I am, but as your children grow, they will not see you and their father as just people, to them you're always going to be there. When my dad died I actually dreamt about him every night for the first year. I lost my mum at the same time, not through death, but because she chose to turn her back on me when dad died. Have you thought about getting some grief counselling? There are people who specialize in this type of counselling, who would help you deal with the anger you're feeling because you didn't get to say goodbye to your dad. Anger is a very real part of grief and needs to be dealt with so you can get past that emotion. Your hubby doesn't understand because he wasn't close to your mum and dad. He's probably frustrated too because he doesn't know what to say, no-one ever knows what to say when someone they love is in pain like you are. I don't know if your hubby knew your parents, but, even if he did, he wouldn't have known them the way you did. Your pain and grief is very deep and personal. Try writing to your mum and dad, telling them how much you love and miss them. Keep a journal so you can write something every day, share with them about your kids and hubby. As Tony said, take time out every day to remember them. If you know their wedding anniversary, light a candle for them and say (to yourself and them, happy anniversary, I love you). Think about the grief counselling too. Same thing (candle) for their birthday.