My partner and i have only been together for 9 months, but we have known each other and been bestfriends for 10 years.
We have been trying for a baby for about 5-6 months now. And i have had 2 miscarriages.
its so horrible. The first time i had to point to a pregnancy test to tell my partner. Naturally first he asked if i was pregnant, i shook my head than he asked "your not" all i replied with was "anymore". And the second time was a month ago and i only told him 2 days ago.
The physical pain is the worst pain, but the emotional pain... its hard to explain, you feel as if you have lost part of yourself, like someone has taken one of your traits or characteristics and a piece of your heart aswell.
Its been really hard recovering as the first one i didnt have any time off of work and the second one i had a single day off of work because i was further along and the pain was too much to bare. And since then i havent had a day off of work, i have movdd house, done almost all if the unpacking and moving around the furniture, and doing every last one of the house chores without any help. This is all on top of working 6 days a week.
im exhausted both mentally and physically, i just wish that it had never happened because it plays on my mind all the time, seeing babies breaks my heart at the moment because its all i want. And it doesnt help i struggle to admit it to my partner so i bottle it up. And its hard to talk to anyone about it...