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Forums / Long term support over the journey / (Trigger warning) PTSD after being stabbed

Topic: (Trigger warning) PTSD after being stabbed

  1. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    6 December 2016 in reply to FrankA

    Hi frank i guess there comes a time in one's life were we think why is this happening to me what have i done so bad that i deserve to be treated by my country so poorly i have worked since the age of 14 paid taxes an in a time were i need some help to overcome my overwhelming amount of issues there not there ,my good friend is the only reason im still here i could not give up when he is unbelievably supportive he does not no it but i owe my life to him i will tell him one day and this is not the first time he has unknowingly saved me i have way to much respect for him and love being around him what can you do to repay someone off that nature its so rare and even though i don't have blood family support i dont even no of a family come to think of it that helps there loved ones the way my friend helps me i no im so lucky and greatfull and do feel for those who truly have nobody in there lifes looking out for them , i just am waiting now to see the outcome for my application for dsp so i can pay for my treatment overseas would like to do emdr apparently it can help and has helped alot of war veterans overcome or at least manage there ptsd without having to resort to taking antidepressants which i will never be taking again once i get better i will then dedicate my life to helping others a specially children that is what i do believe is my lifes purpose and the reason why I survived my horrific injuries they told me its a miracle that i managed to hang on so long bleeding out for 25 minutes untill help arived i didnt no this until couple weeks ago when my two friends attended the accused sentencing the judge read out that i had 1 lt off blood drained from my left lung never mind what was on the six flights of stair i ran down and were i laid whilst waiting for the ambulance to arrive i do remember trying to slow down my heart rate the blood was everywhere squirting out between my fingers as i was putting pressure on the open hole in my chest it was frightening thinking no i cant go like this no one i no is here i did however manage to call a friend whom i have known since i was 13 but i do not recall it but he was there in icu gently tapping me on the shoulder as i was coming to after having life saving surgery well i guess its my obligation now to help save others( children) and make my friend's and myself proud im going to put my heart and soul on the line to make a difference in the world we live in today

    Regards and best wishes

    Jason

  2. MarkJT
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    6 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jase, just a snappy post to validate EMDR. A couple of my mates have done EMDR and it has been highly effective for them. I did exposure therapy which worked for me but didn't work for other mates.

    I am certainly hoping that you get some good joo joo coming your way soon.

    After what you have been through and what you are currently going through, you more than deserve to get thrown some good vibes by life.

    Your mate sounds like a brilliant person, much respect to both you and him.

    Cheers

    Mark

  3. Croix
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    7 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20
    Hi Jason,
    I’m a stranger to you but have been reading along. I’m an ex-policeman, one who did not manage to get back into the job and had to find something else. I was never injured physically like you. Like Mark it was visual and circumstances. I am amazed that you had the practical idea of slowing your heart and pressing on the wound – wow that’s thinking under fire!

    I think from all you’ve said and been though Kaz is right and you show strength.

    You’ve made the step of coming here and have kept coming. I really hope you’re getting something from the people here – they’re good folks who have been down hard paths and now can tell the tale.

    You've had it about as tough as it gets my friend, but looking at what you have been saying three things stand out. Firstly you have a real friend. Secondly there is something you find good – the ocean. Thirdly you have a plan for the future – recovery then helping kids.

    All those are gold and you’ve thought of them while in a very bad place. When I got really ill I was convinced I was a great burden to my family and there was nothing left for me and I just about gave up.

    I was wrong. At the time, although I did not really realise it, my thinking was way off – that’s one of the symptoms. Sure I gave my family a hard time, but they continued to be there for me, just as it sounds like your mate is for you – real mates help each other, it’s part of what being a mate is about.

    There also was something left for me – a great deal as it happens – I’m happy I’m alive!

    Like you there was something I enjoyed and took me out of things – in my case it was reading kids’ books – sounds silly but it got me through. The point is it does not matter what the thing is as long as there is something that helps, at least part of the time.

    I’m old now (getting close to 70) and while I’m not cured a lot of what happened, the fear, the worry, is mostly far away in time and I’m able to enjoy life and be useful and take great pleasure from what I do. I went back to study and then went on to help students learn.

    Because what happened to me was so long ago the treatments at the time were not as good as they are now thought the doctors and psychiatrists I had were honest, reliable and tried hard for me. You really do have a chance at better things and you’re sure due for a change in luck.

    Take care of yourself and sing out whenever you like

    Croix

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    7 December 2016 in reply to Croix

    Hello Croix's sorry to here off your trauma it must have been terrible you no i believe it takes alot to overcome mental trauma way more than physical i now this from being beating buy my stepfather on a regular basis it was the things he has said to me as a yong boy that have stuck with me throughout my life right up till now as i right this post so i dont believe any one has the right to judge anyone on there progress to recovery some wounds may need may never heal physical ones do 6 weeks for a brocken bone 1-2 weeks for a bad cut you get whst im saying some people loose there mother or father as if they never existed others are left with a broken heart for the rest of there lives i will never get over the loss of my father when i was 17 and being denied my right to attend his funeral buy my stepfather and not backed up buy my mother to attend his funeral and what my stepfathers brother did to me whilst being baby sitted buy him .i was at the time actually stabbed at the place so called safe place hostel whilst receiving counseling for that very issue pstd sexuaul abuse and arange of other traumatic experiences from a very dysfunctional upbringing i just hope that i can recover and have a genuine smile on my face one day it seams to be off great help just getting things off my chest without hearing people say get over it so i thank you all for your empathy its really if anything giving me insite on how to go about full filling my dream off helping others a specially young abused children i dont think you can learn what we have all been though buy reading books so we are all specially gifted in our own way thankyou all once again

    regards jason

  5. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    7 December 2016 in reply to MarkJT

    Hi Mark hope your well and your buddy is recovering good that you could be there for him like you mentioned its a fine line please dont push it to far last thing your friend needs is to see you relapce i gather your strong fella and no when to take tome out hence the time out of the forom well done mate i need your advice to and have started smiling mind program still have not recieved any help as far as professional help is concerned so thanks for the tip mindfulness you have been very helpful and yes i no i am extremely very lucky to have a friend support me and let me no even though its time for me to move on that he is there for me it does not get any better than that as far as friendship is concerned in my opinion

    The surf is up tomorrow im heading down at first light 3 ft offshore can not wait to catch few waves

    Take care

    Best of luck on your travels

    Regards jason

  6. MarkJT
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    7 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jase, thanks for the words - appreciate it.

    I am exceptionally lucky that I have had a dream run in recovery and I almost feel guilty that I had it so good and even then it was so hard to recover so i cannot even imagine what this journey has been and what it continues to be like for you.

    There are other mindfulness apps around so maybe try a few different ones?

    Have a great surf mate. I think that is going to be the best mindfulness for you, Just you, your board, the water and the waves. Friggin awesome.

    Mark.

  7. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    9 December 2016 in reply to MarkJT

    Hi Mark Hope your well buddy i finally free of guilt of feeling a burden to my friends

    Im happier now than ever im living at the beach sleeping on the back off my ute watch the moon set last night awesome woke up and went for 2hr surf got heap of barrels didnt make it outoff any waves dont have much shape her im in a cave at trigg point with my buddy we just had chicken rolls and i just went for swim and fresh water shower felling at one with the universe .

    Best wishes Mark, regards jason

  8. Croix
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    9 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hi Jason

    You sound so much more grounded now, I guess it was a wise move to go to the beach with your buddy. It mightn't cure everything but it sure sounds like it's being a real help.

    I reckon you're only partly right about broken hearts not mending. I've had some - the loss of my career, my daughter-in-law passing away from leukemia while young and later on my first wife dying too.

    Lots of time, fresh people, fresh experiences, luck and true friends all made the rage and pain get less until I could look back on what was taken from me without the same hurt. Sure there's regret but healing has taken place and other things are important to me now as well.

    I'll think of you catching the perfect wave every now and then.

    Croix

  9. MarkJT
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    10 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jase, absolutely pumped for you with that last post. That is just so incredibly positive, it makes me smile massive. The feeling of calmness being in the back of the ute looking up into the sky must have been very relaxing. Love the stars and sky. Trips me right out and one of the more powerful mindfulness exercises i do. Love it.

    Being free of guilt - don't underestimate how powerful that is. A huge step in the right direction and well done for being able to do that. Never ever forget that you deserve to be peaceful and free of guilt with your mates. I know that PTSD clouds this huge but for you to move over that, outstanding.

    Dude, awesome post - just brilliant. So excited for what the future holds for you. A long road yes, but your road is looking better and better each day.

    Well done mate.

    Mark.

  10. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    10 December 2016 in reply to Croix

    Hi croix

    Thanks heaps would love one day to be able to catch up and thank you all in person i no i have a long way to go and there are some changes im working on changing in my life i just dont want to be to hard on myself so its one step at a time last thing i need is to be feeling like i have failed im doing my best and im so glad that there are people like yourselves out therethat understand what control ptsd can have over our lives i will be truly happy one day i can feel it coming

    Best wishes jason

  11. MarkJT
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    12 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jase, nearly four years ago i was in a psych hospital, absolutely broken from PTSD, depression and anxiety. My life was in ruins BUT i am now sitting looking at the A380 that is going to carry me to the USA and watch my Seattle Seahawks play.

    What i want to convey to is that you can recover. You have a mountain in front of you but you are one seriously tough mofo to get to where you are today. What you have been through is shockingly bad but you are getting up each day and actively recovering. Yes the road has speed humps in it, it always will but as time goes by, you will recover.

    Never ever forget that despite all that has gone on, your record of getting through bad days in 100% and that is pretty dam good. So much respect and admiration for you.

    Keep hitting those waves brother, we have your back.

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    13 December 2016 in reply to MarkJT

    Hi mark sorry to hear you was in hospital its tough i hope i have not contributed to your anxiety and relapce hey Mark you are a true inspiration and i understand do you think we will ever be truely happy cause i find myself doing things that make me happy but if im alone for to long i can spiral down even shortly after being with the people i would put my life on the line for and im alone i start thinking and thinking why was i born and thats when i realise i need to start my dream off helping others abused children give them support education fun actives and somewhere safe to live whilst i and a few very trusted hunt down the evil and serve them the justice they deserve what ever that maybe. This will hopefully consume all my energy and thoughts into something good for the children and the good people in our world we live in today

    Safe travels my friend

    Best wishes always

    Jason

  13. Croix
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    14 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hi Jason

    I'm writing to see how you are getting on, I've been thinking of you out by the ocean.

    You were talking about when you are alone for too long things get worse.

    I believe happiness is partly what life is dealing you - as in friends, no worries about the next meal / place to live, having peace with no hassles

    It partly comes from what you've done, as in a hung on a difficult wave, helped a friend, looked at the stars in the universe above you at night

    And it is partly learned. That last bit is a hard one to explain - I'm not sure I understand all it myself I am sure though that the more often I am happy or at peace, the more happy you and grounded I get. Maybe the black thoughts come less often as happy or peaceful thoughts don't leave them enough room to breed.

    Thinking about your future and your plans where you will be able to do something is a good way to keep from spiraling down - doesn't always work of course but as you've found out for yourself it helps. Also being away from hassles by being on the beach.

    I probably haven't put it really well - the important thing is you are doing a mighty job! Better than many would have.

    Take care

    Croix

  14. Guest_08B8CB20
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    15 December 2016 in reply to Croix

    Hi there Croix

    Yeh you have put it well i will send you another post bit later got a great support network thats for sure and been keeping busy hanging with my good friends there is no surf here in perth really frustrating at times but good to wake up to the ocean every morning and no i have some very special friends including yourself

    Thanks mate

    Regard Jason

  15. Guest_08B8CB20
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    16 December 2016 in reply to Croix

    Hi everyone you no im sitting here at royal perth hospital as i write this post the very place i was at when i nearly lost my life last year friday the 13th my italian friend Vince who is the best metal fabricator and has is own company and work shop 3 days ago when i went to visit him i believed had another heart attack in the workshop so i told him to go to doctors well he didnt and for some reason i decided for the first time to go meet his wife and go to his home the minute i saw him i felt this overwhelming desire to get him to hospital well turns out he has had did hsve a heart attack and done possibility alot off damage to the heart would you believe the time was 10.13pm which is my birthday and 13 is now my lucky number after being stabbed on fri 13th vince could not believe it when i showed him the time as he was being wheeled into theater im sitting here waiting for him to come out hoping but somehow believing he is going to be ok

    I really want my friend

    To pull through this

  16. Croix
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    16 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hi Jason

    That is amazing - and this time YOU were the helping friend - I guess what goes around comes around.

    I've got my fingers crossed Vince pulls though ok.

    I think only someone like you could think that being stabbed on the 13th could make it your lucky number!

    Take care of oyurself

    Croix

  17. Croix
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    18 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hey Jason

    How's you mate doing?

    Croix

  18. MarkJT
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    18 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jase, that is so friggin awesome what you did for him. You may very well have saved his life. Just think about that for a minute. You had a gut feeling, you followed it and you acted upon it. That is superior awesomesness right there.

    Don't worry mate, you are not causing me any grief by engaging with you in here. I do it because i am so lucky to have recovered and i believe that I owe it those that are not to some how help them through their journey. I love doing it and believe it or not, I am actually thankful that I went through it, certainly wasn't fun at the time and still isn't at times, but it has opened my eyes a hell of a lot.

    Yes i believe that you can get back to true happiness. For the most part I am but i am still recovering. I am so much more relaxed than i have been in years. I am not fussed by so much more than i used to be. If it is out of my control, I don't worry about it. I have times of extreme happiness which is not a normal level for healthy people but they are really cool as it reinforces to me that i still have the capabilities to feel alive, not just surviving but actually living.

    Takes time dude, i know it is annoying massively, but in time, do the small things right, keep hitting the waves, when you feel crap be kind to yourself.

    Playing in the snow here in Detroit with the kids is simply awesome but i know this is not natural but it is adding to the great memories to draw on when i have a crap day.

    You have one hell of an awesome memory to think up when you have a crap day - you may well have saved your mates life. Yes it is a bad situation, but if you flip it to a positive, it is huge.

    Mark.

  19. Guest_08B8CB20
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    18 December 2016 in reply to MarkJT

    Thsnks Mar

    I guess your right mate! im having a bad morning just woke up to one off those mightmares busting to go to the toilet my friends have just arrived cant stop crying im trying to pull myself together hate feeling like this

    1 person found this helpful
  20. MarkJT
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    19 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Sorry to hear that you are having a bad day mate but you got this, you have got through so many in the past. Use the experiences of getting through bad days and you will get through this one.

    Any chance for a surf?

    How is your mate going in hospital? You know the one that YOU may very well have saved his life.

    Keep fighting mate, we have your back.

    Mark.

  21. Croix
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    19 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hey Jason

    Mark's on the money. Both he and I can see the strength buried inside you - anyone who can get something positive like a lucky number out of being stabbed is ok.

    We'd both like to hear how Vince is. Waking up feeling like s**t may be at least in part a reaction to the incident and going to hospital with him.

    I admire how you are handling what life has handed you - You are a warrior fighting hard - and will win in the end

    Croix

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  22. Guest_08B8CB20
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    20 December 2016 in reply to Croix

    Hi Mark

    Hope your having some good r&r Vince is at home now with his wife im so happy for him imgoing through tough time at the moment when i wss with him the night i took him there i told him as i was starring through the window you see that building over there it was the top floor off that building that is were i was assaulted it was directly in front off us we were on the 4 th floor off ccu when vince had his scans off his heart they started laughing they could no believe the damage to his heart was the size off your little finget nail

    Hi is so lucky for such small amout off damage he goes back in a few weeks and they are going try to put the other stint in the other arterie

    Hi told me today hr feels so much better

    Take care my friend

    Regards jason

  23. Guest_08B8CB20
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    20 December 2016 in reply to Croix
    Hi Mark still no phone return phone call from dpp or the hostel i was staying in or any counselor 24 visits now to my gp someone is interfering in my attempt to get better i just want to get out off Australia and be happy i mean at piece im so angry how can they treat a human being like this i dont get it im so full of resentment who is doing this what have i done 3 down grades in charges to gbh its not right and no help i hate this place my country
  24. Guest_08B8CB20
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    20 December 2016 in reply to Croix

    Hi croix

    I dont understand why my contry is not helping me i dont want to be here any more my doctor cant understand why no body is following up on his referrals 24 visitin 12 months it not fair im a good person

  25. MarkJT
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    20 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jase, just a thought and apologies if you have covered this somewhere in the thread, have you considered contacting Victims of Crime in WA? Here is the website - http://www.victimsofcrime.wa.gov.au.

    You might be able to get some compensation and then hopefully get better care.

    Hope you are feeling better mate.

    Mark.

  26. Guest_08B8CB20
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    20 December 2016 in reply to MarkJT

    Hi Mark i have tried every Avenue victoms of crime there is one lady who works 3 hrs per week on a Wednesday she is the most beautiful empathetic lady and advised me to get my doctor to get me into 360 mental heath well my doctor has done two health care plans and cant understand why they are not following up on his referrals as is with the government system because i have no fixed address look were im living in a car park someone is interferring in me getting help 

    I have got to get out off here apparently i have a meeting at centerlink onthe 2st my job provider told me but thete is no mention off this appointment when i go to sign in on my gov i have triedi need to get out and never come back here

    Sorry to keep going

    Regards Jason on

  27. Croix
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    21 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hi Jason,

    Don't worry about going on, you have to talk to someone and we're here for you.

    I'm sorry to say a lot of this sounds like the government and you're stuck deal with it all - not good. You get stressed and feel a lot worse. Try thinking about your long-term plans when you can, might help you see all these hassles as temporary.

    I suppose if you can get to Centrelink and ask about the appointment, and also ask them why it is not on the MyGov site, that may be a something.

    Can you sort out some sort of fixed address, even if it is only a friend's place where you can pickup your mail?

    Try to get your doctor to find out more about what happened to his referrals too - can't hurt.

    Talking of friends how did Vince go?

    Hang in there mate

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Guest_08B8CB20
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    21 December 2016 in reply to Croix

    Hi Croix Yes Vince is doing well he is back home now with wife great news, dont worry i am dealing with it will never give up then they will have won one im hear for a long battle as far as enemies are concerned they will have to physical kill me and they should no from my history its not that easy i will be victorious and they will pay for there lack off duty off care ,you no the dreams are not as frequent i have no fear what so ever i sleep like a baby in the carpark sound off mother nature good luck to any one who tries to disturb me what will be will be and the fella who nearly took my life wanter hope im not reliving the near death experience when i sleep at night walks out to freedom. Im a tough fella just cant believe its affecting my life the way it is and what has transpired as a result of this cowardly attack

    Takecar

    Enjoy your Xmas im not going to bother you all for a week i want you all to enjoy your time with your family just remember i will be alright and im gteatfull for your commitment in advising me and sharing you stories with me i really would like one day to meet up so i can tell you my appreciation in person

    Thanks

    Regards Jason

  29. Croix
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    21 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hi Jason

    I'm please to see you are more on top of things. Your right - you are a tough fella.

    It's good that mother nature helps to heal you at night - you need the recharge for the next day.

    It's also pretty good news about Vince - he and his family owe you a big debt. There's no telling what would have happened if he had not been in hospital - thanks to you.

    Please don't think you need to give us a rest over Christmas, it's a kind thought but if you need to talk - then you talk - no worries

    Hang in there mate

    Croix

  30. MarkJT
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    22 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jase, mate i can guarantee you that even though you are not getting much love from the Government, we are hear to hear you and chat to you. We ain't going anywhere.

    Also to back up Croix's comments about, do not think we need a rest. I am currently in Detroit and are logging once per day just to see this and a cple of other threads. It is something that I very much enjoy doing and want to be here for you. You deserve to get some love so again, we are here for you.

    Cheers mate.

    Mark.

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