@monkey - that is the plan.
hello to @cmf, @grandy, @demon, @quirky.... your responses mean the world to me. You are all wonderful people.
funny how I can get into a down mood and I cannot explain what happened to get into that state. only 1 person today really saw me for how I was today. Some others were either losing their touch or I am getting better at hiding it or .... I know I need to book another blood appt with Red Cross - the last one was cancelled because they were too close (quarterly). Fri was a low day as well, although then I had someone to distract me for a bit.
so I just did a google search for
when you don't know why you are depressed
and got some interesting answers and I looked back at events over the last week, visualizing what happened. and what I was worked out was I am blaming myself for things outside of my control and using statements like I am doing the best I can or I wish...
... and I remind myself of going into a valley while trying to get to the top of the mountain. However, now the valley seems to be going into the mountain and down, where it is dark and silent. I am still moving forward.