Well hello NBM!

You posted 7 minutes prior to me catching it and how lovely that was. Your thread has become legendary and then some. I guess you could've never imagined an effect of such magnitude! Yet here you are...with humour, love and gratitude. I welcome you with open arms my friend.

Not only have you benefited from this site and our beautiful caring community, but you've bought out the best in us..in me. I can only thank you with words, but it's words that bought us all together and it's words that will continue to enhance our lives...that's a given.

I read your post with bated breath, a very big smile and (happy) tears welling up in my eyes. I applaud your guts to glory attitude and well deserved kudos! (Cheers from the crowd..Yay!!!)

You've made my day Navy Man...your children and wife are very lucky indeed to have you in their lives. I congratulate you on your progress and wish you all the luck in the world with your new psych. You deserve to continue to reap the rewards for your amazing efforts. WELL DONE!!

Warm and kind thoughts as always...Sara xo

Goodaye NBM,

Welcome back! Hope the body heals okay after your operation!

It is good you are seeing a psychiatrist. A lot of us have been there and done that. I personally find it a lot easy talking to a person I don't know rather than someone close to me.

You may well feel shaken up after the experience, so make sure you have something easy to do or some comforting experience to enjoy once the session is over. Or you might need some time alone to process what on earth just happened!

Love the bell story! My husband had one of those after his cancer operation. He didn't ask for peeled grapes though, I guess he didn't think of that! Ha. Ha.

If you don't mind me asking, can you please tell me what your medals represent? If that is too tough for you, just ignore that question.

Our town had a small celebration for Remembrance Day. A very dignified looking soldier from the Vietnam War was standing there with his medals on. I had a chat with him briefly, then someone he knew came to chat with him. It was a lovely service.

Wishing you all the best with your recover, body, mind and spirit.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

Dear Navy Guy,

Thanks so much for sharing about your medals. Hopefully in time you will be able to wear them proudly, accepting the fact that you have made a huge difference in the lives of so many people, in such an amazing sacrificial way.

Hopefully your son will remember where that really safe place is! If not, can you apply to have that medal replaced? I'm not sure how that works.

I enjoy reading about your children and the calves. Sounds like a wonderful, exciting time, greeting the new calves into the world.

You mentioned planting poppies in the garden, I have planted roses here to remember my precious babies and also a beautiful lady name Josie who was like a Mum and mentor to me. The rose for her is so appropriately named Just Joey.

Like you mentioned, it is very comforting to know that complete strangers can reach out to others on this forum and offer support, care, love and concern in such an amazing way.

Maybe by ANZAC Day your body, mind and spirit will be healed enough to march extremely proudly with your own medals shining, and like you mentioned with your three children marching also wearing Grandad's medals.

On a cheery note, hope the calves are all healthy! Last year we borrowed some sheep on our 5 acres to help eat the grass. Two of them had lambs while here. I so loved to go and watch them frolic about. They were so cute!

This year we have a couple of rams and wethers, so no chance of lambs!

Hope that hip soon heals! Cheers for now,

Best wishes and kind regards from Mrs. Dools

Hello again Mrs. Dools,I wrote an extension to my last post shortly after but must have missed the "Airforce" admin closing times by nano seconds as it hasn't appeared yet😜I just wanted to express some feelings of mine, quite passionate from a military point of view,on your comments regrading your discussion with the Vietnam Vet at your local service.I reflected just how niaive,uncompassionate & generally misunderstood society was back then & how disresepectfully treated those returning, those lucky enough to return were treated.The "Dirty War" it aptly named.The atrocities,disturbing visions and acts witnessed by those servicemen I cannot even fathom.But to return as "Baby Killers" or lower class people who have just returned from a "holiday" disgusts me.PTSD was never heard of or to talk about such mental troubles was taboo.The silent killer & really since then,& to be honest it probably goes back even further than just the Vietnam War,what have we learnt?More US service people have died since returning from operations than killed on the battlefield,I am not aware of how numbers reflect from an ADF point of view,but that fact alone is horrific.I am seeing slowly 'the times they are a changing' sweep broadly across society in promoting awareness of mental health-I guess I can really comment particularly what I have seen during my time in the military,but notwithstanding this we have a long way to go.I, ashamed as I am to admit it,am guilty of this-just look at the title of this thread-says it all really.Mental issues is still a stereo typical sign of weakness,I'm so pleased to see campaigns being run now by macho football stars and sports men & women alike stating it is OK to speak out-that mental illness is not a dirty word or something to be ashamed of.Sure if I was not nearly killed by an IED during CT operations only to go on & see big tough men execute,in cold blood children,I might be fine in life-blissfully unaware of this BB organisation or the need for it.Education is in this area is critical.We are seeing it in the military now and it is taken very seriously.But,as I as getting to earlier in this post, it is the vets previous to my generation that my heart bleeds for.They got nothing, absolutely nothing only ridicule and persecution for being in a place no one really had heard of,fighting a fight most did not join by choice.Sure, even I have had tomatoes thrown at me and heckled baby killer whilst in uniform,not a particularly nice (continued)

(Continued) feeling,particularly after what I'd endured that particular deployment.More ironically our unit actually saved a mother & baby during child berth onboard our vessel.The engineers without even being asked went away & constructed a cot & change table for this particular mother & baby to use whilst we remained at sea.So to be called a baby killer-hurts, a lot.So far from the truth of what we service people actually do out there.Is it thanks I am asking for,no not really,just a little respect or general public understanding that yes whilst I elected to serve and wear my countries name on my shoulders does not make me any less human than the next person.Anyway probably enough of that rant,like I mentioned though I am quite passionate about the public's treatment of ex & current service people,& I guess you know full well how I feel about Vietnam Vets through this post.Just got your post regarding your lambs!No idea what happened to my post in between...maybe their actually is an "Airforce" person moderating & placed mine in file named the shredder.I agree just how healing gardens can be,my wife's department really,but secretly I get a lot out of the "whole growth & earthly experience". We to have planted trees to remember loved ones lost, some far to early. A special place to go to reflect, remember-& over time as it grows so does the healing inside of me. Thank you for your kind word regarding my physical healing.I should be an old hand at this whole hip replacement by now,considering this is my second at the age under 40!Having 3 children under the age of 7 (7,4,2) doesn't make dad's recovery easy though...partly myself to blame as I always go at things like a bull at a gate & just want to be a dad and bend down & play & lift or be the horse to ride-all things I vaguely recall my surgeon saying things NOT to be doing for several months.Yes,I can reorder the safely placed clasp,no hurry this end but I will want them to see &understand what their dad did &sacrificed,&hopefully they will be proud.At the moment they see their dad a little sad most of the time & hobbling around on crutches,icing his leg,unable to play &truly connect-which saddens me the most really.Not all doom &gloom though,my poker face has got better over time in hiding all forms of pain around my children.My fight continues for them to see their true happy healthy dad soon enough.I truly feel for you Mrs. Doors life can be so unfair to the best of people,you are one of them.😇❤️NBM

Hello Sara,I been replying to Mrs. Dools,however please read all those words & feelings I have towards her as equal toward you.I have a funny feeling all my posts over the last 24hrs are all out of sync,as Im yet to see a couple I wrote before the last one here.Hopefully they sync with a timeline that makes sense.I'm not sure what you mean by my thread becoming legendary and then some,but I do hope it has had a positive impact on others-as it certainly has with me.Would you believe my first available appointment with my new psych isn't until Feb next year?I understand they triage their clients,so I must respect there are those out there doing it way tougher than me.Still,on the positive side gives me more time to get my body cherry ripe before then.I see my surgeon tomorrow regarding this muscle tear issue,just praying no further surgery will be required-not sure my body nor mind or spirit could handle that requirement right now.Still,being the gentlemen farmer I am,I am lucky enough to be able to at least rest,with my wife staying home & running the house until we know the verdict.By gentlemen farmer,the term could not be any closer to the truth.I have a 60SQM putting green in one of paddocks!So an Officer and a Gentlemen (farmer)really-without the Richard Geer looks sadly.I do get told I'm a dead ringer for Billy Zane all the time(whoever the hell he is-poor bugger).So golf is out for a while & my sand bunker has turned into a Tonka truck construction site!So everything is sort of put on pause,in limbo-which I don't really like.I hate having things out of my control especially when I know there is so much that needs doing!I don't do patience well as you can probably tell by now.My fault I am laid up like I am now,went too hard at recovery-despite the professional warnings from surgeon to wife.Oh well,gives me a chance to connect back with you guys for a bit.Come tomorrow after a stern talk from my surgeon I may have to be on my very best behaviour & actually do as I am told-so I might be off BB for a while on my next phase of recovery-just praying the words surgery or hip revision are not spoken during tomorrow's visit.Other than that I'm well as can be,fighting the fight which is draining.Not everything is a"Pantene"solution-I fully get Rachel Hunter's learned words of wisdom,but I did have my heart set on a speedier hip recovery and earlier psych appointment.Here's hoping at least the new meds help with my recent triggers.Hope this finds you well.❤️NB

Ha ha aha he he he...ah ha ha ha...

You absolutely cracked me up Navy Man! Those pain killers must be atomic strength! Ah ha ha ha...

I hope you took in some much needed oxygen during previous posts...lol I was breathing for you in between giggles while reading. BTW...they seem to be in sequence too.

Legendary thread...hmm...as you can see, there are 70 entries to date; that's no mean feat. Then there's the quality of posts from all concerned, which incidentally bought out some revealing stuff from us. (CC's) The subject matter is kind'a unique and specific too. (opening doors for others) Your speedy progress and recovery from some pretty mind blowing PTSD and physical injuries. Then there's you...open, honest..sometimes brutally, kind, relevant, pragmatic, philosophical, heroic, a great dad/husband and a Billy Zane look-a-like ta boot! Need I say more?

(BTW...Google Billy Zane movie; 'The Phantom' 1996. [A play on the old cartoon strip] for a look-see at his early years as an actor)

When you put all these together, it's not hard to understand why we've warmed to you and this thread.

Your complements have not gone unnoticed either NM. Thankyou for your kind hearted, generous sentiments and gratitude. It's accepted with pleasure.

It's nice to hear you've been doing the doing as Farmer Joe and all round great Dad. Your wife sounds like a keeper too, she must be run off her feet with 3 little one's and you at the hop-a-long helm. (That's about the closest I can get to a navy reference lol) So buckle down the britches and man the tackle keel (uh oh...there I go) for some hard work ahead me harpy's. Giggling he hee...

Loved the chat..still giggling...

Sara xo

Hey Navy Guy,

You have been busy with all your posts! Hope the appointment went well for you and there are no more operations on the horizon!

Just had an idea! Do you have a goat? You could hook up a cart to the goat and it could race you around your farm. That would be so excellent. You might even be able to learn to play golf from the cart, maybe you could switch to polo for a while!

You might want to line the cart with an old mattress or hay so you don't bounce around too much and jolt that hip.

Just think of all the fun the children would have as well.

I've been thinking of getting a goat to help me out with all of this weeding! Do you think if we bought a young goat we could train it up to not eat the roses? That would be good.

I'm just raving a bit here. Didn't get much sleep last night due to helping out at the CFS station while the crew were attending a vehicle accident, car v truck! Home at 1.00 a.m. and little sleep after that.

Okay, over and out for now, cheers from Mrs. Dools

Hi Navy Guy,

You mentioned the goat ate your toys. My sister's dog chewed one leg and half the head off my teddy! I was not at all impressed. I tried to sew up my teddy and still have him. I called him Charles. Ha. Ha.

The dog and I did not see eye to eye at all. Mum would suggest I took the dog walking with me. I managed to get the dog across the road and then it would just sit there and turn her head back to home. She would not budge until I turned for home again.

A friend had a goat on a non edible chain stacked in the garden. The goat used to run back and forth pulling at the chain until the stake came out of the ground! A goat could be a challenge! Ha. Ha.

The chooks aren't too well, they seem to be getting some kind of disease. We had one put down now another is looking quite ill. Poor darlings.

At least the cat is thriving! She is an indoor cat so can't eat any of the wildlife. She is so fat I don't think she would be able to catch anything anyway! Ha. Ha.

Your other thread is going well too. Hope the hip is doing okay.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

Hi Mrs Dools, great to hear from you as always!No good to hear about the chooks..what are the symptoms?My wife is very good with chickens as we have quite a few.She would love to help you if she can,unless you have already asked your vet.Adding some garlic powder to their water I know was one remedy that helped fix a lot of our issues or there is some special concentrate stuff that comes in a bottle-the name escapes me but I will find out for you for sure.If they are egg bound,then that is a whole different kettle of fish-very time consuming & not the cleanlest way to fix..Happy to help though as I hate to see or hear of anything suffering.The hip is coming along alright now,just appears I have suffered some nerve damage to several major muscles.Just trying to get the dose right on this new nerve blocking drug & she should be apples & I can crack on with rehab as planned.About to check in on my other thread,but have found the deep breathing & mind over matter excerises help a little with the triggers & I have not yelled at the kids since.I will reiterate on that thread that my term "lashing out" at the kids was a verbal thing,not physical (ie violent),as I am really concerned I upset another member who replied early on in the thread.I don't have a mean bone in my body & I certainly would never ever harm my children or any other children in any way from any of my triggers-they are (my triggers) all about worrying about their safety and protecting them.It is a beautiful day here as I look out my bedroom window while icing my leg.We have a total of 4 new calves now,with 8 more expected soon.Dexter calves would be no bigger than a Jack Russel when born-just with longer legs,they are the most adorable little things & their mum's don't mind us getting up close and patting or even lifting them up sometimes.I love Spring,as I am sure you do with what I can only imagine is a beautiful garden you must have.We are still in the "building" phase of ours,but we have managed to lay all the reticulation & look forward to choosing our plants wisely and then planting out.We live in a harsh climate,heat to severe frost and snow.That said it's God's country to us &we love it here very much even with the long commute that goes with it..just makes coming home that bit more special.Thanks again for finding the time to write,I am doing my best to remain chipper around the kids but it is hard.Pain,emotional &physical is draining to hide,I have a lot of both at the moment.❤️NB

Dear Navy Blue,

You mentioned in your post to Mrs Dools that you were concerned about upsetting another member when you talked about lashing out. I did reply in detail early on in that thread to your post, hoping to partially ease your mind by talking about my experiences.

If it was me you were referring to then there are no worries as at all. On the contrary I've found all your posts, including the more graphic descriptions of your experiences and determination to overcome combined with your obvious caring to have been encouraging to me personally and feel that your frank and detailed posts to be a very positive contribution to all.

If you were not referring to me then all I can say is that it is very hard In these forums to judge the effect of what one is saying as unlike a face to face conversation there are no clues as to a person's state other than the actual words they write down in response, no facial expressions, tone of voice etc. Combine this with a delay on replies and it is possible in this environment full of people who have suffered that some may misunderstand or react unexpectedly.

Either way please continue, I really hope you find your interactions with the members here are of benefit and that your physical ailments recover quickly.

Again my very best wishes

Croix

Hi Navy Guy and Croix,

It is very easy for the written word to be taken in a way that was not at all intended. Even a slip of the key can change a word completely.

Once I told a friend that I was so tired I crashed into the bed when I arrived home. Her daughter asked me if I hurt myself when I crashed into the bed.

Same as lashing out, it can be verbally or physically. Many words have a double meaning.

If there have been any misunderstandings any where in the forums, it is good if people can sort them out.

We all have our own experiences, personalities, expectations and so on. What is acceptable to some will not be right for someone else. We are all individuals, that is what makes this community great! Different ideas, points of view and a variety of possible solutions, all help make the world go around.

Everyone has something to contribute, if they write only a couple of words or use up their whole 2500charactors!

I for one am very thankful that I can read and write! Life would be quite different without those skills.

Communication is important too.

Cheerio for now from Mrs. Dools

First I would just like to say to everyone involved in this thread that I am so happy to see how you all support and help each other, I am deeply touched by this. I found this thread while I was doing research for my essay regarding Stigma in Mental Health (I am a Nursing Student) and this thread is just wonderful to read after reading so much about negative attitudes and instead get to see the fantastic support.

To Navy Man: I must say that from the beginning of this thread until now it feels like your confidence have grown (not saying that you may still have a long way to go) with the support from others which I am glad to see? What you are saying remind me so much about my boyfriend. He suffers from depression secondary to a rare autoimmune physical disease. When he gets down he too does not feel like he is man enough and it does not matter what I say, he does not believe that I am being truthful. However, if I didn't love him so much and considered him to be the man for me, sick or not sick, I would have been long gone but I am still here and will stay. He sometimes try to "hide" away from me when he is at his worst because he does not want me to see him like that, he thinks that I will stop loving him, that will never be a reason for me not loving him though. We are very open with each other though and talk about absolutely everything and I think that has helped us so much to get through the rough patches.

I would also like to comment in you apologising for your troubles not being as bad as others and that it is pathetic. What you have gone through and what you feel now is not pathetic in any way. I suffer from severe PMDD and for no reason what so ever I can get aggressive or depressed and this happens on routine every month. I have many days where I can't get out of bed or be around people at all. And I have no legit reason at all to feel that way other than that my hormones are out of whack but I still feel it as powerful as a loved one just died. What I am trying to say is that what you feel is never pathetic and you should never compare your reasons for feeling something to someone else. We all have different experiences, we all have different coping mechanisms and some are more open than others and some have easier to access the health care and support they need. And for my last 160 words I would just like to say that recovery is a journey rather than a destination and you are already on that journey and I wish you all the best!

JK

Dear Navy Blue,
Thanks for replying, I was worried I’d made things harder for you. I’ll follow your invitation and stick my two pennies’ worth in again as my experiences do indeed seem to largely parallel yours, though a lot longer ago.

I’m pretty sure you know all this intellectually anyway, but hearing it from others may help you ‘believe’.

As far as seeing yourself as being the one doing a lot of taking in your marriage: I definitely did, my wife was a nurse, worked, looked after our child and looked after me, and she did indeed have to ‘walk on eggshells’ too.

At the time I felt extremely guilty and a great burden on the family. That combined with my confused mental state meant that I considered all sorts of inadvisable actions.

It was not an easy life for my wife. I ran her ragged and there’s no denying she was hard pressed. However I am now absolutely certain she loved and treasured me throughout and felt useful and competent and able to take the load on her shoulders.

She repeatedly told me this both then and later on throughout our time together - I do confess I only sort of half believed her until very much later.

Then the boot was on the other foot. I looked after her during her prolonged illness and I can truthfully say she was never a burden - actually this time it was she who was worrying about being one. I may have been hard pressed in my turn but we were facing something together as a unit and I found it was both a release and great help to me to look after her.

I was going to stop here then I got to thinking about the ‘self-conscious monster’ thing – you do yourself a great injustice. I found mental anguish hurts worse than anything and being the victim of an injury of that magnitude (either physical or mental) means you simply have no choice but have it dominate your life and thoughts until healing occurs. It may be very different from your normal way of thinking but it's both natural and to be expected.

My best wishes to you, your family and all,

Croix

Hi Everyone,

My brain seems a bit tired today, so I will just write to you all together. My Dr. has me on a new medication to help with a physical ailment. One side effect is tiredness the other is nausea. ( I am loosing a little weight so that is a good thing!)

Back to words, Navy Guy, depending on how some people are on a particular day, no matter what words you use, they can be offended by them due to their mental health issues. Well meaning words/actions/communication can easily be misconstrued.

I sent my Mum a letter with beautiful parrots on the paper. Mum sent an abusive letter back stating how dare I send her paper with birds on it when the birds were eating the fruit off their fruit trees! To me Mum's comments were totally irrational, to Mum they were legitimate.

Guess what I am trying to say, is we all just need to be ourselves on the forum. Yes, we can watch our P's and Q's, but someone may still be offended regardless.

The main thing to me is that we can help and support each other. We can learn from each other, share what works or what we are struggling with, and to realise it does not matter how large or small an issue may seem, they are all issues.

My mind has gone blank! Time for a coffee!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

Hi Navy Guy,

Regarding the chooks. One hen had a very swollen crop that was full of "water". Contacting an on line vet and Dr. Google, I discovered that the crop can become clogged especially if the hen eats long grass. The remedy was to help the hen to vomit out the water, give her apple cider vinegar in her water and something else I have already forgotten the name of injected into her mouth.

I think the chook had problems at the other end as well. Maybe she was egg bound. Needless to say, the poor darling progressively became worse. As I mentioned earlier, taking the chook to a vet is not an option as far as my husband is concerned.

A bit more background on that, we were moving house once, unknown to me, my husband took my cat and had her put to sleep as he did not want her in the new house!

He didn't like my canaries so gave them to his mate. He made such a fuss about them, it was easier to let them go.

One time I was so ill, I asked my husband to take me to the Dr. He suggested I had a shower and a cup of tea. I phoned my sister. She took me to the hospital. I was so dehydrated, I was vomiting bile and was placed on a drip for 4 days.

I believe my husband has some kind of Asperger's as well as his mental health issues of depression and goodness knows what else.

Back to the chook, my husband wouldn't even go down to look at the chook or offer any suggestions. The poor dear was miserable one morning, so I called a friend who helped dispatch of the chook.

The second one I didn't even realise she was so ill. I had noticed she wasn't eating as much as usual. When I picked her up she was all skin and bones and just hung there. I tried to encourage her to eat, but nothing seemed to work. So sadly she has been saved from suffering any further as well.

I don't think I will be getting any more pets in a hurry!

The last two chooks look healthy enough for now.

Rest in peace dear chooky la las.

From Mrs. Dools

Dear Mrs Dools, I am rather gobsmacked & disturbed at your above post,particularly regarding you cat & your requierment to be clearly hospitalised to go unforeseen by your husband.None of my business I know,but upsetting to me all the same.Not sure if I mentioned it to you in previous posts but yes cider vinegar & a solution called Kilverm has assisted us in many a chook ailment.I have written in some detail as I usually do with my entire 2500 characters in my other thread about what is going on with me/us as a family.Not all positive sadly.That said a close family friend to my wife arrived yesterday to stay for 5 days.It was unannounced to me,but I think my wife organised it more for her help and sanity-which I'm truly hoping might give my wife & I the time needed together to work through some things or say some things that obviously need to be said (without the constant interruption of "dad can you fix my music box, it's broken and I need it working right now",or "mum, I can't find my favourite t-shirt,I can't go on living without it,please can you find it..."I think you get what I mean.I guess the feelings of anger and resentment I am seeing/feeling from my wife toward me and sending me back further into my shell,the shell that took me six years to come out if before.I know communication is the key but I have run out of explanations regarding PTSD and its effects on me.I'm sure my wife is quite sick of hearing these PTSD excuses I kept harping on about.I need her to read up on the effects of PTSD and what it can do to people and how it can cause them to act.She has only heard brief quips about it from our counselling sessions-does anyone know a great website that explains PTSD to a carers point of view?Even if I can forward her a link (she loves reading),this would help me out of the hurt locker I found myself in once again.I have tried searching,some sites are ok,but I'm hoping there is one out there that sums it all up clearly and concisely so she can better understand exactly what I'm battling everyday.Any links to websites or suggested books-she loves borrowing from the library would be greatly appreciated.Off to rest,I have never felt this tired in my life,not even when I was doing 20 hour days work on deployment go figure???I hope this email finds you well and I look forward to hearing from you again soon. Oh,before I forget I have not heard from Sara Conor in a while,I do hope she is ok.If you know how to message her,please send my regards.❤️NB

Hi Navy Guy,

Sorry to read that life is not so rosy in your home right now. Hopefully the guest will be just the ticket for all of you. It can be surprising what a fresh face about the place can be like!

Mental health issues are hard enough for the person suffering from it to understand, let alone bystanders. Both my husband and I have depression and other issues. I try to be supportive of his problems, but he is not always able to cope or comprehend when I am suffering.

Maybe your wife is a little frustrated because she can't fix you.

Each of us come to a point where we are just tired and exhausted and don't feel like we can cope any more. Maybe your wife is feeling drained by everything and just doesn't have the capacity to be her usual self right now.

When both people in a partnership are struggling, there is no one there to help prop you up.

Is there something special you can organise or do for your wife that will provide her with an element of happiness and thankfulness. I'm not sure what, hopefully you can think of something.

Are there family members close by who could look after the children so you two can have a date?

Is it possible to hire a cleaner even if it is once a month to do the heavier stuff around the house?

I personally have trouble with finding info on Google. I have no idea why you get something like Volcanoes coming up on the screen when you are looking for cat breeds. It does my head in sometimes! Ha. Ha. I'm not able to suggest any site on PTSD at the moment.

Does your library have a computer link up system? Somehow my husband can request books through the net and the library lets him know when the book is in. Your library might have a similar system.

Regarding Sara, I will leave try to contact her and send on your message.

This time of year can be very busy/horrid/hectic/crazy for lots of people. Hopefully Sara is not unwell, just busy.

This is all a bit disjointed tonight. The old brain box is tired! Ha. Ha.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

HI Navy Guy,

I checked out Google. There are a few good sites available to help parents talk tot heir children at PTSD. One was even linked to Veterans.

I'm sure you will find some beneficial information there.

Just a quick message for now.

Cheers, from Mrs. Dools

Hi again Navy Man;

I'm still here, though not up to par I guess.

I would like to explain something to you I only just realised. It's an honest account of why I haven't spent time posting to you.

In my last reply above somewhere, I responded to the humour in your words. It was a relief and pleasure to write back with laughter as my backdrop. But when you next posted, you didn't acknowledge me due to being extremely upset and discouraged.

This isn't a bad thing; for me though, the emotional investment I put into you and your plight, took a lot out of me personally. It's a learning curve to be honest. The tears and heartfelt support I gave came from a place so real, I didn't know how to deal with it.

Please don't take this personally; my role as peer supporter comes with many challenges. Learning about boundaries is of course a major factor necessary for my own survival to continue being the best I can be. As an individual, helping others brings value and worth. Your first post touched me so deeply. I did what I could to be the person you needed to pull you thru.

The humour I spoke of and the knowledge of it's value to PTSD sufferers, makes it difficult sometimes when my efforts just don't seem enough. I started a thread this week to encourage people to share funny events in their lives. The thread died; it disappointed me and unknowingly gave me a reality check re this site and its meaning to me. What I've been trying to promote, is about me needing laughter to treat my own PTSD.

My life goes on; I don't post about my issues much anymore because my support to others has taken priority. I was originally like you, and this I feel drew me towards you. This weekend I'm taking time for me, to lick my wounds after some family problems of my own and to re-evaluate my role here.

I'd like to add, I feel a little like your wife. I say this with all due respect. As peer supporters, we give our all to assist people to help themselves back to health. Sometimes, as with me, this can take its toll. Your wife wants to see she has 'achieved' as your carer, wife and mother of your kids. Wanting so badly to help you heal and watch you over and again fall down, is distressing and can break spirits.

Carers need help too. There are support groups and resources available so she can have time off to remember who she is as an individual...so important!

I hope my honesty is appreciated and understood...Sara xo