Hey, no problem.
I know I have sacrificed a lot for others, but can it be considered for something else, even though the ultimate benefit comes to us?
There is a layer of misunderstanding, but it isn't what you think. My questions lie on why I focus on my values and act toward them, because it implies that I don't already. I suppose, the difference is to own the values I do have?
Let me try and explain. I value knowledge, I value respect, I value kindness and caring. I know I value these things. I try to implement these values, so I study, I respect others, I try to be kind and caring. These are already happening. The depression doesn't make me value any of these less. They make me think and question the ultimate purpose, it imposes things, it distracts and it's volatile. It walks with me while I implement the values, and it takes more and more from me as I do it. My question is, why isn't the therapy more focused on stymieing the depression than getting me to focus on things I already know I do. I mean my proclivity to s.i. doesn't stop me from caring about you or respecting you.
Then I ask my question of are they my values if it is for the purpose of other. I treat others as I want to be treated, so are values implicitly our own or for other people?
It is sad. Very sad. They get so angry at her, and yet they don't see that they are as unchangeable as she is, though she is in her 90s, let her live her life. She does yell back though, and I love it when she stumps them with her mental math capabilities.
I run at 3 because I start work at 7 am, get ready by 5.15 am because I don't wake up if I don't shower in the mornings, and if I want a stretch afterward, hydrate properly beforehand etc, especially since my plan requires getting the distance in rather than the time, I need to wake up at 3am.
Haha, well if you want, I have the high pressure hose with me ;)