So I think I'm only now starting to process what I was talking to my psychologist about.
One of our conversations was about my impulsiveness. I feel like a little kid regulated by an adult mind, but sometimes the adult mind wanders off or lets the kid be the kid.
So at 25, I will still jump onto walls and fences and walk down the street like that, I will randomly start leaping down the footpath avoiding all cracks in the road, I will say things that shouldn't be said, start walking a la Monty Python ministry of silly walks style, just start making frog noises while sitting around, sit down on escalators...etc etc.
On the more dangerous scale, driving recklessly if there's no one around, gambling, and some other stuff.
One of the things we talked about was trying to take more control over my impulses. I didn't like the idea, and still don't, because I feel like with my lack of identity, this was the one thing I could hold on to as being me. My psych said why couldn't I keep my impulsiveness in some aspects, but not others.
I don't know. It makes sense, but it is incredibly uncomfortable. I feel like if I do that, then I just...won't be impulsive anymore.
Anyway, I thought I'd just put that out there. I don't know if any of it relates to you! haha.