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Forums / Long term support over the journey / I can't find the right place for me to post

Topic: I can't find the right place for me to post

  1. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
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    21 June 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Moon

    i know what you mean but I also have friends on FB who have shared painful parts of their life and spoken about mental health and other struggles. Also I have a young relative who talks about challenges of motherhood as well as the delights.n

    I know when people share their problems others will come out and share.

    I understand how the endless posting if others gorgeous lives is annoying and tedious.

    I feel privileged to read the honest posts that people have chosen to share. Of course the “look at my great life posts “far outnumber the honest ones but I am grateful when people open up and make themselves vulnerable.

  2. Moonstruck
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    21 June 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Yes Quirky I agree FB can serve a useful purpose. In fact I am surprised at the openness of some people I know who feel the need to utilise it to get their painful feelings out. Whereas I prefer keeping really personal stuff to myself or vent to my heart's content on Forum here.....

    I also love seeing family and friend's latest news, funny stuff, photos etc...so yes I do enjoy FB as a whole. Was just wondering if something lies behind my particular "friend's" constant posting about the excitement and full life...all glowing, all wonderful, nothing ever goes wrong or is difficult. Perhaps I am missing the point and she feels that is what FB is for....to spread joy and love...as I said I realise I sound mean and jealous...perhaps I am jealous. or at least envious of someone who seems to have no problems or difficulties whatsoever in life...seems to be "charmed".

    what I was wondering if, perhaps beneath all that, it covers up a sort of emptiness, or even loneliness ...surely no one can be that happy, with NO problems, ALL the time? Or am I wrong? Was just curious if these kinds of posts on FB make you feel better, or worse? Lift you up, or make you feel inadequate? Humans are so interesting.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Croix
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    22 June 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    I guess that anyone who feels that their FaceBook is there to fill with a moment by moment descriptions of their wonderful Kardashian style industrious life has some problems.

    The first is I don't know anyone whose life is always excellent, in fact if you have a positive 80/20% you are probably one of the lucky few. Most people have ups and downs, and sadly life for many is hard, not just here in the forum, but in real life. So your freind is exaggerating to say the least.

    The second is that this form of boasting realy means the peron (as has already been pointed out) is seeking constant approval, not able simply to exist for their own sake, but rely on others for validation

    Thirdly to imagine others are interested enough in her to want to drink up all those posts is a form of egotism.

    So I think your antenna is spot on to question your friend's activity. FB is an easy place to tell untruths and polish events to perfection. Sure if someone ever did have a perfect life one might feel a tad jealous, but I think a dash of pity might be more appropriate here.

    I don't think one should fell in the slightest inadequate, or uplifted. After all the chances are this is all fiction.

    I'd have to say the opposite is different. If a person is in distress and says so on FB that can be a venting or more likely a call for help or support, and you would view it in a very different manner, mind you FB is not really the ideal place to ask for help or reveal personal details of one's trials.

    Croix

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  4. Moonstruck
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    29 June 2021 in reply to Croix

    Hello Croix and my other lovely friends.......back on my own thread now. Deja vue..wonder why I have the eerie sensaion that I have "been here before, seen lockdowns unfolding around me {our town missed out...so far) but both of my sons are in lockdown..again! One in particular lost a lot of business and did it very hard in 2020.....the relief and joy when his particular area of employment was opened up again...much celebration all around and valiantly striving to get back to regaining a level of security and success......gone! all gone again! Nothing I can do except stand by and watch.

    Heard someone say recently in the press, how unfair it is that the same people, same professions...small cafes, bars, eateries, particularly the live entertainment industry which disappeared altogether in 2020...why do these hard working folk have to bear the load each time "they" call lockdown? Some professions and businesses carry on as usual.....but so many dont. It's the same ones every time who suffer the most.

    I know business people who have lost hope and thinking of suicide. I understand. and still, still, the politicians and newsreaders, insist upon spreading FEAR...using words like "dreadfully concerned" very worried, extremely serious, we are in real trouble now and on and on the words of terror continue.....where is the hope, where is the reassurance, where is the comforting, when is the nurturing? None to be seen.....so very cruel....

    2 people found this helpful
  5. Croix
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    30 June 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    Funny you should mention 'Our Town'. Mr Wilder's effort was my theatrical undoing. I tried for the role of Stage Manager (i.e.The Narrator) and ended up in charge of lighting -sigh.

    I'm sorry about your sons, there is nothing worse than on-again/off-again and you are right, the grief is not evenly spread. As for politicians -don't get me started:)

    Actually the news is a program I avoid, Mrs C lets me know if there is anything I should be aware of and I leave it at that. There is so much emphasis on bad news that the few good stories that are slipped in -I guess by way of contrast - simply feel out of place and artificial.

    Come to think of it if Ringo Starr could be Thomas the Tank Engine I'm sure I'd make a good Sir Topham Hatt aka The Fat Controller 🚋:)

    Any prospects of any bowling or associated activities on the horizon?

    Croix

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  6. Moonstruck
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    3722 posts
    4 July 2021 in reply to Croix

    Hi Croix...not really any greens activities for me just now...it's the younger age groups having a turn..perhapsat the end of the year? and there's always next year, provided I don't have a birthday later this year and get any older!!

    I have though, been keeping up my joining in the other areas that require helpers when a tournament is on...even though a touch of agoraphobia was beginning to set in, I persevered and made myself go to this fabulous place that I feel comfortable and "safe"....and I still do. Thank God for that place of familiarity and those people, all shapes and sizes, personalities, little quirks, etc which makes up the human race.....my spirits lift even just a tiny bit after being there and doing not much but mucking in where needed....until its "my turn" again.....if it ever comes again......"troublesome times gentlemen, troublesome times".

    One of my sons is in Sydney and lost so much money and work due to their lockdown...when, oh God when, can we live again? Will it be before our time on earth is up? Just give us some hope, please leaders and "experts"....you're human just like us, don't you empathise with our suffering and confusion?

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Croix
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    4 July 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    I'm sorry about your son, it is realy heartbreaking to build up your life, work or business, and hen to have it come tumbling down due to Covid lockdowns. I'm not sure there is a better way, I wish there was.

    I am glad however you are going to that 'fabulous' place', being in surroundings you are familiar with and where you can not only give a hand, but I'm sure give advice to the younger herd of bowlers.

    Your time will come again, we both know the demand is always there for senior bowlers.

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Croix
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    11 August 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    I've not been as active recently as I'd like and just wanted to catch up and see how you are goiing

    Croix

  9. Moonstruck
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    3722 posts
    11 August 2021 in reply to Croix

    Good to hear from you Croix....I figured you must have given up on me, perhaps by reading my views on the Coronavirus thread, also the other one, "Depressed due to isolation and loss of civil liberties". I post mainly on there even though trying to choose my words, because those of us who oppose our various Govt "rules" and takeover of our lives and freedom {none left now)....those like me seem to be in the minority and jumped on by those terrified of disobeying the "leaders" ....

    I am OK in regional Qld but as you know have loved ones in both Sydney {where he has existed like a prisoner for ages now and not allowed to pursue his career, i.e. work for a living) and another in SE Qld where restrictions are still in place after yet another lockdown and my grandkid forced to wear a mask to high school...at the age of 13....teachers find it hard to teach, not being able to project their voices, nor see facial expressions during communication with the students.......{ by the way, there are NO Covid cases in this region of SEQ...NONE)

    More restaurants have gone broke and closed their doors in Brisbane with no help from the Govt leaders who are on full pay.

    I cannot bear it.....I cannot bear watching what is happening to my country...it is no longer my country. we are fully controlled puppets and what is worse.....so many are mildly accepting it...a country divided, friend against friend,family against family, employer against employee,neighbour against neighbour...

    .. Control and power are proving irresistible to our leaders...a real aphrodisiac....while their citizens are beaten {by them} to their knees.

    1 person found this helpful
  10. Croix
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    12 August 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    I'd never give up on you, unless of course you criticized my sartorial choices and girth- you have to remember walruses have different standards:) -We rarely wear boots for instance

    Your views had nothing to do with it. I'm not as well as I'd like to be and reduced my workload as a result. This of course has meant in the Forum I've not been able to keep up and friends such as yourself have been neglected.

    With views, I'd actually not read all of yours, but on the occasions I might disagree friends can agree to differ.

    No, I just want to catch up and find how you plus pet are getting on, if there are any bowling matters in the offing and how you are feeling in general - plus I've not had my quotation fix for ages

    “Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.”

    Croix

  11. Moonstruck
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    3722 posts
    14 August 2021 in reply to Croix

    Thanks old Walrus...I feel better today..maybe because I went to watch another team play..with some bowling friends of mine. Was aware am developing a sort of social anxiety...so glad i made the effort.

    Just being in the company of "My tribe"...had big effect..and perhaps the healing aspect of connection to others has never been so vital in this current isolating situation we are in.

    You sound much more mentally balanced than I am with the CoVid crap going on...and on...and on...

    Luv ya

    2 people found this helpful
  12. Croix
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    15 August 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon`

    I'm most disappointed you did not dredge up a quote for me -sigh.

    I guess I'll have to start with one to make up:

    "Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals." by YKW

    I was thinking about your tribe. Yes it is made up of individuals, and when someone is being obnoxious it is helpful to remember that, but by and large being out with your tribe is a very good and absorbing thing to do. I'm glad you overcame your reluctance and went.

    If you stay at home you are basically stuck with you own thoughts, when out with your tribe you have a plethora of other's thoughts to deal with, a pretty good situation. You are right it is a healing.

    I hope you have many more opportunities

    Croix

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  13. Moonstruck
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    15 August 2021 in reply to Croix

    ...Oh all right then Croix...will this do?

    from Winston Churchill when a woman at a social event made a rude remark about his drunken behaviour as he had a few too many.....

    "You may be right Madam, but in the morning I will be sober, while you will still be ugly"!!

  14. Moonstruck
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    3722 posts
    15 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Good morning Me....{ thought I'd better post or rather "vent" or my old forum friends, if they are still here will think I have left the building completely...well I almost have I guess)...just finding the last 18 months of Covid, restrictions, hideoous press conferences, fear, hysteria and overkill by the media {the 18 months also included the death of my partner)....well, it's just worn me down completely. I have nothing else to give...even to myself.

    It's just beaten me...together with the gradual deterioration and weakness physically, that comes with older age brings actual pain that makes it hard to get motivated to move around, and go anywhere....just recently the Government brought in more rules for GPs, making it harder for them to prescribe a painkiller that actually works and relieves the sufferer's pain....all we have available is across the counter, which aren't strong enough for severe pain.........so folks...throw all that into the mix and Moonstruck feels depleted with nothing more to give.

    I find myself dissolving into tears every early evening....for the simple reason of the effort it has taken me to make it through another day. It's so hard to get out of bed each morning, I feel safe there....and spend the day waiting for darkness when I can be safe again.......yes the last 18 months has defeated me. I am only human and feel I have no support whatsoever.....we read advice to "tell someone" that you are not OK...but who to tell? How do I pick up the phone and say to someone "I'm not OK:"....what a burden to put on someone!

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Ggrand
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    16 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Hello Lovely Moon.....Hugs 🤗..

    I feel you with growing older and the aches and pains that come with it.....I keep telling myself that it’s a privilege to grow old as many do not have that privilege....Especially with COVID taking so many lives.....

    Whether you, me or anyone spends the day in bed..well that’s perfectly okay...by doing so they are giving themselves some self compassion and care...

    Like you..each day I wake up, I seem to just wait until darkness falls, that’s when I feel safest because the world sleeps...and none around that I need to interact with...

    The world is a scary place more so with COVID hanging in our thoughts each day....But it’s something that we need to try to live with...and not let it control our lives so much...even though it does and it’s hard to by pass the thoughts on it and the fear it puts in our hearts....

    I am deeply sorry that your dissolving into tears each morning....and that your worn down with nothing else to give...Not even yourself....It’s hard not to be so tired and worn down....especially when you are so down...It happens to me sometimes...On those days, I try hard to do something nice for someone...talk to someone here that is struggling, ask my neighbour or best friend over for a coffee, or phone them to just talk, sometimes I do nice things for me...sit outside with a cuppa tea and pat my furs babies, have a bubble bath, light candles and listen to my favourite songs..,just little things to make me feel alive...

    I don’t, haven’t and won’t listened to any news or media coverage on COVID, I think now for nearly a year...hearing about so many deaths from it...hurts to much in my heart...even though they are strangers it still hurts our soul...My dil..lost her father this week to COVID...Which opened my eyes....that each day we wake up, whether we are sad, down, hurting, happy, it’s a day to live the best we can...if that means spending it in bed...that’s okay because that is the best we can do on that day...Tomorrow might be a day that we can get up out of bed and do something.. then that’s whats we do...and that’s okay...

    My kindest thoughts dear lovely Moon..

    If you need to...please pick up that phone and say “I am not okay”...because the people/counsellors on the end of that phone do care...and so do we all at BB...

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  16. Moonstruck
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    16 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Thank you Grkandy. You always reply so kindly to me when I never bother to do the same to you. I'm sorry for that.

    You are special to so many on here..xxx

  17. Moonstruck
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    16 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Grandy...oops sorry for typo in my last post.....xx

  18. CMF
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    8660 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon,

    I'm sorry to hear of your pain, sadness & defeat. It has been so long since erve6had any 'normality' and yes, the media are doing their jobs well with scaremongering. I understand the feeling of waiting for the evening, when theday ends things stop and we don't have to interact. It is a "safe place '

    Moon, I wish I could take away your pain. Unortunately I can't but I can tell you i/we are here for you whenever you need to talk/vent.

    Sending you comfort & gentle hugs.

    Cmf x

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Ggrand
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    17 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Hello Dear Moon...

    Please don’t be sorry dear lady...and never feel sorry for not posting to anyone...You’re here Moon because you are struggling with your mental health and that’s what here I’d for.....for some gentle and caring support from your dear friends that you have here...

    You’re not feeling too good right now..and it saddens me to hear this....and if I am able to or think I can, give you a sort of warm embrace with my words...I will try my best to do so....In r/l I would definitely give you a caring hug....to help make you feel better...

    How are you feeling today lovely lady?..Its okay to not reply, if your not up to it.....

    Thinking of you with kindness...

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  20. Croix
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    24 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    I've not been posting for a while and have come back to find you struggling - something that makes me sad. There are a lot of things that have happened to you in the last year or two, the death, covid and bowling stopping - something that occupied you and gave you satisfaction and pleasure, being in physical pain and trying to put up wiht all the problems of getting older.

    Add to that uncertainty and the media, I guess it is no wonder you find it hard to get up and that being home is safer.

    No, over the counter meds are not always what is needed, and if a GP does not have authority to prescribe different meds then the way I found was thogh a specialist, though why I'm telling you I don't know, you have as many brains and are as resourceful as me.

    Can I ask if you still have pet? I've been out of touch I'm afraid.

    Getting ground down by life is something that happens, hopefully something will change (it does not have to be much) and you will feel a ray of hope, something that happens to me.

    Irrespective of the circumstances I'm pleased to talk with you

    Croix

  21. Moonstruck
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    25 October 2021 in reply to Croix

    Darling Croix...I knew you'd worry when you saw my last post .I feel bit better now. You'll never believe my old boss asked me to help out with a task...not sure if I did the right thing..but said Yes. Wondering if "thin edge of the wedge" but am so good at the work...I must confess I have.sort of "missed"....not the job or boss....but exercising what i do well.

    A little bit now and then I think I could handle...a least it gave me something to focus on..hope saying Yes was the right thing...we shall see.

    Yes i have my gorgeous cat...he is great company and a reason to get up each morning...take care Croix.xx

    1 person found this helpful
  22. quirkywords
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    26 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Moon

    I wrote a post several days ago to you but may I forgot to send it.
    Glad your skills are valued by your old boss. it sounds like it could be a satisfying arrangement. Glad you are feeling a bit better.

  23. Croix
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    26 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    Yes I remember your old boss, and just at the moment it might not be a bad thing to have some work to remind you of your very real skills and put other matters out of your mind.

    I'd have to say though it might be easy to take on too much, bearing in mind your comments before. If you can say "No" sometimes to more and more work that will be excellent.

    I'm happy your gorgeous cat is there with you, he'd make it a home, not just a dwelling.

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  24. CMF
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    27 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon,

    I also remember your old boss. It's nice that he values you to ask to do some work for him, but yes, don't let him overload you. Keep it on your terms, say no if you need to and remember he needs you so it's in his best interests to listen to you.

    Hope you are feeling better.

    Love ya

    Cmf x

  25. Moonstruck
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    27 October 2021 in reply to CMF

    Dear friends...thanks for your support. I think I can stand up for myself more now and I found it easier in our initial phone contact to voice my own opinions about the task without being afraid. That's a big thing...not being "afraid of displeasing" him any more. I have completed the task easily, so have not lost my "talent".....and think I'll be able to express myself in what "I" think should be done. I will tread carefully and not overload myself.

    1 person found this helpful
  26. Croix
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    28 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    That sounds pretty encouraging, being able to say "no" or voice your opinions sounds exactly like what the situation calls for.

    Dunno why but talk of No reminds me of "No, No, Nanette".

    Earl Grey for two?

    Croix

  27. Moonstruck
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    29 October 2021 in reply to Croix

    Ah....the mention of Earl Grey Tea brings back memories of the first time I encountered that flavour....had a brand new boss {this was many years ago)...on his first day he was kneeling on the floor unpacking his briefcase and said "Here, this is the tea I like"...and threw a couple of Earl Grey Teabags at me....it didn't take long for me to like them also.....Twinings label of course!

  28. Croix
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    31 October 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    Milk or Lemon?

    "You have filled my tea with lumps of sugar, and though I asked most
    distinctly for bread and butter, you have given me cake. I am known for
    the gentleness of my disposition, and the extraordinary sweetness of my
    nature, but I warn you, Miss Cardew, you may go too far.
    "

    Croix

  29. Moonstruck
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    3722 posts
    31 October 2021 in reply to Croix

    Now, where have I heard those words before? I suspect when the young lady reaches a certain age or beyond, she will probably prefer cake to bread and butter anyway.....and may even be known to enjoy a crumpet or two, especially when the market runs out of cucumbers for the sandwiches!

  30. Croix
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    1 November 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    I do like Gwendoline's attitude concerning Cecily's engagement - "If the poor fellow has been entrapped into any foolish promise, I shall consider it my duty to rescue him at once, and with a firm hand"

    I somehow think, if you ever gave up bowling, that role might be fun for you :)

    Croix

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