I'm sorry for what happened to you. You are not the first to come across this problem. Just reading how this has affected you with police on the doorstep and a very strong feeling of breach of trust shows the harm. Your reluctance to come forward again is perfectly understandable and frankly I'd feel much the same myself.
I've looked at your other threads:
Suicidal thoughts and self-harm /
Treatments, health professionals and therapies /
PSYCHOLOGIST and MYSELF????
Someone with PTSD often has hyper-vigilance and distrust as symptoms anyway and I guess this will have only reinforced those feelings.
It will have been a shock to your husband, particularly as he did not get to find out as you intended. I can see finding there is a whole world he does not know about with the suicidal feelings of someone very close would have been deeply unsettling.
I doubt he knows what to say or do. People are frightened to talk as it might push their loved one 'over the edge'.
Why not ask him to have a look at this on talking abut it:
I"ll also suggest you get him to help you fill in the BeyondNow app from this website, it is a useful tool in its own right, and if presented to him in the right spirit may help reassure him.
I'm sure sections of the medical fraternity will condone the chat room operator's reaction. Pushing the panic button can seem the best thing to do on the basis that they may be saving a life - irrespective of the consequences. If they do not have sufficient experience or have poor judgment then overuse of this tactic ends up with someone completely alienated alienated for no good reason - as you are.
I'm glad the police officers showed sense and left matters alone after talking to you.
Whatever chat room staff are like, here in the Forum you will find people that understand and have had the same sort of experiences. Also have lived though and coped with PTSD, anxiety and related disorders (I'm one).
In relation to seeking help via the phone, even though it requires more privacy perhaps you might find it easier to use a help line rather than text chat as actual speech may leave less room for misunderstandings.
I hope you can settle things with your husband. Please feel free to talk here as much as you'd like