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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Is depression a natural reaction to an insane world?

Topic: Is depression a natural reaction to an insane world?

  1. Unbeliever
    Unbeliever avatar
    268 posts
    19 May 2020 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Peppermintbach,

    I have visited this forum a few times since the whole corona stuff started. But most posts have not concerned subjects I have felt that I have anything overly worthwhile contributing to. So I have chosen to remain silent.

    I'm sorry that you have felt like you are unravelling. That's very sad to hear. I hope that you are able to hold onto at least a few of the critical threads of importance to you and who you are during this time to pull you through a difficult period.

    I myself have been fortunate to have found some rare moments of blissful tranquility multiple times over this year for the first time on a very long time. Ironically this is a direct result of the brief periods of quietness the pandemic has brought against the normally endless background cacophony of humanities clumsy footwork. Something for which I am extremely grateful.

    Our planet is having a brief moment to catch its breath for as far as I can tell the first time in my lifetime. The air quality has noticeably improved in many places all over the world. Waterways are cleaner. Many species that survive on the brink of unexistence are having some of their most successful breeding seasons since records began being kept. At night the clarity of the stars has been so remarkable lately, it's like someone upgraded the entire atmosphere to 4k high def. It is astoundingly beautiful to see. Even the weather itself seems to have been more friendly and generous generally.

    These so-called "trivialities" have gone a long way to warming my heart to the point that lately it actually doesn't ache all of the time. Which is not something I have been able to say for many years now without feeling completely disingenuous and like a fraud.

    Unfortunately this is seemingly coming to an end sooner than I would have liked. Already the first tentative steps on the way to "business as usual" are being taken. So like most things it cannot last... and unfortunately most likely my feelings of tranquility and therefore the "ache" that will follow in its absence.

    This "erosion" of personal characteristics in order to fit in with others is probably the most common thing "normal" people do to hide. To the degree that most never know who they actually are at all. Don't smooth out your rough edges Pepper. I wouldn't recognise you without them.

    and you're not alone... Just geographically incohesive with many of those who are actually "with you". Of which I perhaps am one.

    Take care of yourself...

    3 people found this helpful
  2. blondguy
    Life Member
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    blondguy avatar
    11215 posts
    19 May 2020 in reply to Unbeliever

    Hi Unbeliever

    I just noticed your post to Pepper and thought I would say hello...I hear you loud and clear when you mentioned about 'tranquility' during this period....It has been 'peaceful' for many of us..I couldnt say 'blissfull' as there are so many people that are in pain at the moment which is why I am a volunteer here I guess

    The satellite pics of clear skies over some of the worlds most polluted cities are staggering to see...I never thought I would see pictures as wonderful

    I would never let my personal characteristics 'fit in' with others like yourself UB...I dont subscribe to the concept of 'normality' as we are all different in the first place

    Stay well UB

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Peppermintbach
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Peppermintbach avatar
    4566 posts
    19 May 2020 in reply to Unbeliever

    Hi Unbeliever (& a wave to all),

    Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting a reply, but thank you so much for making some time for me :)

    Yes, the environment has been improving lately. While I haven’t seen it myself, the sky and stars look more or less the same where I am, I have read articles online & seen photos about the environmental benefits. That has definitely been an unintended positive consequence...

    I’m glad it has warmed your heart, giving you some moments of genuine peace that you haven’t felt in a long time. That is very powerful and nurturing, and perhaps sorely needed. Some rare moments of respite for you...

    Yes, you’re right, the Earth is healing & that’s beautiful & important, even if only temporarily. Although I think it came at a heavy price...

    People have lost jobs & income, mental health issues & loneliness is on the rise, people are confined to homes in DV situations, psychological toll on healthcare & frontline workers, disruptions to learning, toll on WFH workers, reduction in face-to-face connection in daily life, etc.

    Sigh, I wish we could obtain the same environment benefits, but I just wish it wasn’t because of COVID-19 or at such a heavy price...

    Regardless, I know that for you there will be a grieving period/a sense of loss as we go “back to business”, but are we really?

    I think the way in which we work & interact with each other will probably be very different for a while....

    You know, Anais Nin once very famously said:

    I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps but other people emphasise my loneliness.

    I suppose in a way, she said it all...there are connections and then there are meaningful connections...& therein lies the difference.

    I’m not trying to be “normal” or “not normal”, but simply seeking a meaningful & reciprocal understanding from somewhere...someone...It’s reciprocated understanding & expressive freedom that I’m seeking, rather than necessarily fitting in or not.

    I find people ask me to open up then if I test the waters, I am told that I’m intimidating...they like the idea of me opening up, but not the reality. I’ve found the wishy-washy, unnatural sweetness is what most people seem to prefer...

    Thank you for reading my drivel. You take care of yourself too :)

    Pepper

  4. palemoonlightt
    palemoonlightt avatar
    2 posts
    19 May 2020 in reply to Anahata
    Unbeliever I am a believer I am also a professional and cannot help myself not the many doctors feeling the same way. I am not depressed. However what I see and hear gas no solution no answer. I go to the site it says don't be alone I look around me and I am . I have others I could talk to but they have no answers. I am resourceful creative and spiritual but in the face of the daily information it doesn't help in fact it makes me.mire inclined to believe this world is flawed we are flawed and this will not change. I am mindful but not an I stupid or blind to the horror greed and control. People come to be for help and I agree with them. I am tired and just tired.
  5. palemoonlightt
    palemoonlightt avatar
    2 posts
    19 May 2020 in reply to Anahata
    Unbeliever I am a believer I am also a professional and cannot help myself and not the many doctors feeling the same way. I am not depressed. However what I see and hear has no solution no answer. I go to the site it says dont be alone I look around me and I am . I have others I could talk to but they have no answers. I am resourceful creative and spiritual but in the face of the daily information it dosent help in fact it makes me.more inclined to believe this world is flawed we are flawed and this will not change. I am mindful but not stupid or blind to the horror greed and control. People come to me for help and I agree with them. I am tired and just tired.
    1 person found this helpful
  6. Moonstruck
    Moonstruck avatar
    3722 posts
    19 May 2020 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Pepper...I just HAD to reply to you. I have not been on this thread for ages, but something you said I so very much relate to. Perhaps I have been trying to find the words to express this all my life....and here you are practically saying it for me....."people ask me to open up, then if I test the waters, I am told that I am intimidating; they like the idea of my opening up, but not the reality.

    I've found the unnatural wishy-washy sweetness is what people seem to prefer." Thank you for writing this....x

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Peppermintbach
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Peppermintbach avatar
    4566 posts
    19 May 2020 in reply to Moonstruck

    Hi Moon (& a wave to Unbeliever & all),

    That made me smile. I’m glad my words resonated. You don’t need me to tell you of course, but I hope you hold onto that intensity, wildness and passion of yours...

    Pepper xoxo

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Unbeliever
    Unbeliever avatar
    268 posts
    4 March 2021 in reply to Peppermintbach
    I've recently read up about how so many species worldwide have had the most successful mating and breeding periods since humans started regularly keeping records of them.

    The amount of species that have shifted from "critically endangered in the wild" to merely "threatened" over the past 12 months is mind blowing when you read the statistics. A few years longer like this and many could possibly have come back in enough numbers to not be in danger of going extinct any time soon at all.

    Just 1 year of "being restricted in regards to how badly we as a species can behave overall" has had an incredibly positive impact in such a short amount of time... more than many specialist researchers could have ever predicted. These species obviously just need us to back off for a bit and give them a little breathing room to so easily start to bounce back to the insane degree that they have.

    And this means of course that since we may "return to normal" sometime this year... this is not necessary an "all good" thing when viewed in this context unfortunately.

    I find it interesting that regarding many things "what we don't do" can be more important and beneficial than "what we DO do".
    1 person found this helpful
  9. Moonstruck
    Moonstruck avatar
    3722 posts
    3 May 2021 in reply to Unbeliever

    Hey Unbeliever...

    haven't seen you around for ages...are you still there somewhere? I recall you put some very thought provoking and eloquent posts on another thread of mine....have you any more words of wisdom or even whimsy for me?

    How are you spending your time today on this public holiday? ... Moonstruck

  10. aegidius
    aegidius avatar
    58 posts
    3 May 2021 in reply to Moonstruck
    "they like the idea of me opening up, but not the reality..." certainly sums up my experience. We are told by psych professionals that intimacy is mutual disclosure; you disclose something, they disclose something in return, and trust is slowly built. In theory at least. In practice, what happens if you have an inner life that nobody gives a toss about?
  11. Unbeliever
    Unbeliever avatar
    268 posts
    20 June 2021 in reply to Moonstruck

    Moonstruck,

    I am still "out here somewhere". As before I haven't been on the site for a long time as I haven't been able to think of anything worthwhile to contribute to it and I'm not one who just talks for the sake of talking. Never been too keen on that personally.

    Which is probably pretty fortunate because as far as I know I am capable of talking forever about pretty much anything. There is little that I don't have an opinion or perspective on in this world... not that any of it is necessarily correct of course.
    Do I have any "words of wisdom"? Probably... there is a great deal rattling around in my head as always, this is likely to never change. I'm sure among all the junk there is a pearl or two hidden underneath a pile of dirty socks or something.

    Probably best to be more specific though... I could probably write enough to fill up this website single handedly if I tried. Whether any of it would be "wisdom" though would probably come down to the eye of the beholder though.

    Aegidius,

    Normal untrained people are messy. Many of them are able to cope BECAUSE they don't delve too deeply into their own heads, don't know their own truths. Now if they are happy and coping well in their own lives I can certainly understand why they are not exactly enthusiastic to "poke around in their own brains". Which makes the "give and take" scenario you are talking about far more difficult.

    It can't be an "equal exchange"... you have thoughts that you are sharing with them that are exposed parts of your soul that are causing you problems to deal with and that you think about all of the time as a result. Most of them have never dug that deeply into themselves and are kind of ignorant to it. To expect them to naturally bring up equal levels of hidden parts of themselves in exchange for your own is just not realistic. Most people do not obsess about these things like we do... they are not playing on an internal loop 24/7. In fact they are likely not aware of them at all. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

    I don't think that it is simply that "you don't have an inner life that anyone gives a toss about". I think that it is more that many people either don't or can't understand it. Don't know how to relate to it. Or these exchanges risks exposing parts of themselves that they are not ready to face yet... or have no interest in facing if they can avoid it.

    Which we of all people should be able to understand. Don't you think?

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