Hi darling friend/b (& a wave to all),
Would you like to talk about what has been going on and/or your feelings?
I care about you and I’m here for you, and I want you to know that. But I also understand that sometimes you don’t want to discuss certain things, and that’s naturally okay too. Whatever you need, I will support and extend my love and friendship :)
My friend with the huge heart...I’m glad that quote moved you. Can I ask how have you been channeling that love?
I would think that gardening must be one of them ;)
It has been a long day. To be fair, most days are long days for me these days (laughs). I am just processing things...thinking about how my own behaviours & thoughts sometimes contribute or exacerbate my problems.
I feel my response to a situation can improve or worsen things, & I think that’s what I’m working on...my response chain...
To nurture resilience. I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again, I think bad things unfortunately happen at times...I think it’s not about avoiding bad things (they’re inevitable to a degree) but it’s about learning to cope/respond in more functional ways. That’s what I’m trying to learn.
For example, for a very long time, offline people would take from me with little to offer in return. It’s not about tit-for-tat or keeping score, but I feel a degree of reciprocal caring isn’t unreasonable ....
For my part, I put myself in that situation. For my “50%”, I let (offline) people take from me...I feel it’s not about being hard on myself or self-critical, but it’s about sometimes needing to take a good, hard look in the mirror to understand what I have been, at least in part, doing to myself/let happen to me...
The following quote almost literally stopped me in my tracks:
We subconsciously seek situations to act our old emotional wounds until we are able to heal them.
- Dr. Nicole LePera
As for channeling my feelings. I’ll tell you something amusing. I don’t typically show what I do to most people; it’s (usually) a private thing.
Long story short, a few strangers stopped me & said that they liked my work. Said that I was “talented.” Talented or not is less relevant, but it was about how on some level, my art communicated something to them. A feeling, aesthetics, a story, an instinct...something...& it made me realise that I can tell stories. Not necessarily in the traditional way, but in my own way.
Having a voice is empowering & having people listen is validating :)
Love from me to you xoxox