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Topic: This bipolar life

  1. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14365 posts
    27 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet I am glad your conversations with equity have been heard.

    You are a trailblazer.

    Hope it goes well.

  2. Issi
    Issi avatar
    251 posts
    27 November 2021

    Hi everyone,

    I know it’s been ages since I’ve posted, but have being feeling really low. I think even my husband is sick of my depression, honestly I have no friends and feel totally alone. My 2 boys now 18 & 22 have both called me a useless mum this week.

    Sorry this is my first post in over a year and I just unload.

    Issi

  3. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14365 posts
    27 November 2021 in reply to Issi

    Issi you are always welcome here.

    I am so sorry you are feeling so low and your boys are not understanding.

    This is the place to vent snd be honest as we are all supportive.
    How have you been since you last posted?

    I remember you were no longer in Travel industry but were retraining unless I am confused.

    Again welcome and post here as much as you like as we are listening.
    Made my day seeing your name .

  4. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1030 posts
    27 November 2021 in reply to Issi

    Hi Issi, Kids can be brats at times. Try not to ruminate about their comments. Easier said than done.

    Hi Quirky, Velvet, Airies and everyone else reading along.

  5. Issi
    Issi avatar
    251 posts
    27 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Quirky yes I lost my job in travel March last year. Since then I’ve had a few contracts with the state government working on the COVID19 phone lines. And now Vic has opened up I’m unemployed again.

    Just made my bed up on the couch, feel like being alone.

  6. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    14365 posts
    28 November 2021 in reply to Issi
    Issi I hope you have a comfortable coach.
    I often need to be alone.
  7. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1179 posts
    28 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Issi, you are always welcome here. Kids have no idea what comes out of their mouths. There’s a saying you can’t put a wise head on young shoulders or words to that effect.

    I often withdraw to my bed, the couch , in my thoughts. It’s a bit of self care.

  8. quirkywords
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    28 November 2021 in reply to Airies

    Aries

    they say wisdom comes with age so I guess I am not old enough yet.

    Is everyone having this wet cold weather?

  9. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1030 posts
    28 November 2021
    Yesterday was not a good day. After being insulted five times by teen daughter I left my in laws house. I was planning on driving to my parents house but the traffic was terrible. There is no way I would have insulted my mum when I was a teen. My kids have a lot of gaul. Nearly every night they critique dinner. I tell them you are lucky it’s not a plate full of vegetables. My husband is thankful for a hot meal. I said yesterday when I left in laws house. Via a text message. Not in person. I am only a house cleaner, cook, nurse taxi driver for you lot. Apart from going to the gym I don’t do anything for myself and I’ve got six weeks with the little brats coming up. I am hanging out for the teen girl to be grown up. She is so opinionated and insulting. It’s not okay to constantly say your makeup is pale, you sunscreen is so white. Your make up shows your wrinkles. I actually don’t care. At least I’m wearing sunscreen.
  10. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3916 posts
    29 November 2021 in reply to asdff

    Well apart from not being a mum asdff I understand this.

    Well I am an organiser, planner, facilitator, maintainer of all relationships in my life. Have to think for everyone else. I almost have to predict the needs of everyone else or I'm mud. My mother has given me one word answers for 10 days after I said I'm sick of being expected to pre empt the needs of everyone in my life. I reminded man thing this am I am always stepping up. Who's supporting me? No one. And guess what ? I have a condition that is legally a disability and no ones supporting me. Over it.

    What other colour does sunscreen even come in? HAHAHA. Maybe choose a hot pink one next time? *wink and jokes*

    People take way too much for granted.

    ANYWAY after my rant I understand. I really do.

  11. quirkywords
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    14365 posts
    29 November 2021 in reply to asdff

    Asdff

    One of my children is a dull and a parent but still feel free to criticise how I dress etc.

    I decided one day that they only say things to me because they know I will always love them so they feel free to share their opinions with me. That’s what I keep telling myself.

    Your children do appreciate you but they don’t show it. I must admit when they have their own child they do understand how hard parenting can be at times.

  12. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1030 posts
    29 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Thanks Velvet and Quirky. I am not much better today. I ended up sleeping in the middle of the day. Along with housework. It’s nearly time to feed the hungry hoards. Yet another thing Miss Teen complains about… dinner is so early. Well Miss sometimes there is sport to go to after dinner or sometimes Mum has been doing things all day. If she cooks dinner, then just maybe one of you will do the dishes and Mum can rest her feet. If anyone does the dishes it’s Dad/Husband. I dread the Christmas Holidays, they are coming up. I find them too long. I also find it hard enough to stabilise my moods without all the criticism.
  13. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3916 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to asdff

    My parents are now pulling the guilt trip. This is what they are doing. etc etc. They won't ask for help. Won't ask me to go part time. Yet tell me the things they are trying to do. They won't hire help - man they can afford it!!!!!!! I have asked repeatedly over the last 12 months or more FOR A DISCUSSION. Nope.

    So they won't ask, but I will need to work fulltime, care for them part time, and no idea how to look after my own home and things. I would have no time for me. I don't now!

    Or I drop work hours. So If I drop 1 day a week, I sacrifice triple what they would lay out on a gardener for example.

    Mother has been very cranky at me for the last 2 weeks until this came out today. So I am supposed to read minds.

    Narcissistic abusers.

  14. quirkywords
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    30 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    We will need to have a discussion with my children in about 15 years time or more or less depending on my health. They all have children so I think they expect me to keep healthy and then to look after myself.

    I can see your frustration .

  15. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1030 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie
    I think my Mother with her 10,000 health problems will tap out before she needs aged care.
  16. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3916 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to asdff

    I had 3 huge pieces of news today.

    A work one. The parents chaos thing. A friend thing.

    Massive and life changing.

    Nothing wrong with helping parents. I don't do manipulative things. I watched my entire life those games when growing up and I will call it out.

    My dog is a silly dude. Hehe.

  17. quirkywords
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    30 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet ,

    what a day you have had, I hope you are ok. That is a lot to cope with in one day.

    I wanted to buy something that I thought I wanted then someone else bought it, I cried, and then I realised I didn’t really need this object but I needed my ability to regain my skills to be resilient . Quite a day fir me and a lightbulb moment.

  18. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3916 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I'm tired and I have a headache. I'm ok though.

    Skills and resilience outweigh material things. Unless I missed something here?

  19. quirkywords
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    30 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    you are right. Some days I am a slow at learning things.

  20. quirkywords
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    30 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Velvet

    I think I still have not worked through the effects of the fires but I now think I know what I need to do. It takes a long time. Everyone on this thread has helped me and been so supportive. I am grateful.

    1 person found this helpful
  21. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3916 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Processing and handling trauma is a hard road. You never **get over** it.

    I had to tell my mum tonight that people who experience horrific trauma in their lives are never the same. This was in regard to the things my grand parents endured during ww2.

    It's ok not to be ok. Big. Small. No one should devalue another person's experience.

    You deserve like minded people to hear and understand you Quirky.

    I waffle. This is my tired ramble ahha.

    1 person found this helpful
  22. quirkywords
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    14365 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    thanks for your kind words.

    I do think some people think that there is a quick solution for everything when in reality most things take time with a few detours on the way.

    Happy December to everyone. I know for some this time of year is full of stress as well as joy.

  23. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3916 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    I'm not really sure anything in life is linear.
  24. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1030 posts
    1 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Quirky, you are so resilient. I cannot fathom everything you have been through.

    Velvet, I hope the parentals get some help and it’s not just you giving it to them. Sometimes don’t you just want to say a few swear words? I sure do.

  25. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3916 posts
    1 December 2021 in reply to asdff

    Our occ safety rep just had a tantrum at me for reporting a safety issue and then throwing my diagnosis in my face and storming off.

    I'm in shock.

    And really upset.

  26. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    14365 posts
    1 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    That is awful and so wrong in so many ways. A safety officer should want to know about safety issues.
    are you ok?
    can you tell someone ?

    I feel so sorry you were treated so badly. Her behaviour was so appalling. I am shocked.
    she should not be a safety officer.

  27. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3916 posts
    1 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I am ok. I'm just very sad and mad no one in my life will hear me when standing up for my wellbeing and welfare. Work. Home. No where.

    As for work, I have a meeting with 3 delegates. Human resources. Safety and health. Equity and diversity. The event today is the last straw. The toxic workplace and lack of accountability with bullying tactics. Enough.

    This went against more than one area/policy/law and they are furious.

    As for home - child still won't be held accountable so I'm throwing all her rubbish out next weekend. This has been 12 months of frustration for me.

    My parents well... tba.

    General rule of thumb - no one cares about your wellbeint or welfare so long as you serve their agenda.

    I think asdff can understand this in a way.

    I have a very bad headache again.

    I honestly want to quit my job and end all relationships in my life and start all over again. I've collected a pile of horrible people.

  28. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    14365 posts
    1 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    I am sorry you are sad and it makes me sad that a person like you with integrity is treated so badly.

    I think others take advantage of our good nature and our tendency to be people pleasers.

    I think we often agree to help others as we know what it is like not be helped. (I think I have paraphrased a quote.)

    I wish there was someone who would listen to you at work. Your helpful boss doesn’t come back to next year.

    There must be workers like you in many organisations who leave because no one is listening and the people in charge find it easier to ignore the truth.

    I admire your persistence.

  29. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3916 posts
    2 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Yesterday's thing is still under management.

    When I asked about neurodivergence in inclusion and diversity a week ago, I didn't expect an email about diversity including a huge write up about adhd.

    From the Vice Chancellor.

    To all staff.

    Being positive about it.

    I am absolutely lost for words.

  30. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    14365 posts
    2 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    That is amazing. What a response.
    I hope this means people are listening to you.

    velvet, how are you feeling now?

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