Hi Quercus and all,
It’s great to hear from you again :) Thanks for the reassuring words, and for clarifying some things so we have a better understanding of how your family communicates with each other.
What a beautiful and thoughtful gift you have given to your children. I think it’s wonderful how they can speak both English and Polish fluently. You’re clearly a very caring and loving parent.
Um, based on your latest post,I think you have basically identified your main struggles as I noticed your comments:
I do feel you all have a good point about respect. I don't think hubby and I have the right balance in place somehow.
On a daily basis I am excluded from conversation. My kids know I try and can understand some basics. But sometimes I think they see me as stupid. Because I ask my kids to translate.
What upsets me is my capability (lack of really). My lack of progress is not from lack of trying. And listening and asking and repeating. I just can't physically make the vocal sounds.
So I feel your first point reflects Donte’s thoughts on the need for a balance of authority between parents where your children to see you as an “equal” to your husband. Sorry, I say that with the best intentions. I hope that doesn’t upset or offend.
I think your second key point is about not feeling included and perhaps a bit of a self esteem issue too (I may be way off of course). But maybe it also goes back to the whole respect thing and wanting to be seen as a linguistically capable and equal parental figure to your husband in your children’s eyes. Just my thoughts...
Your third point seems to be one of frustration with yourself and self “blame.” But perhaps you’re being a little hard on yourself. Learning another language is generally not easy for most people especially if you’re learning as an adult.
Having said that though, it’s not impossible to pick up another language of course. I wonder if maybe part of your struggle is the technique you’re using to learn Polish. Perhaps there is another method available that would suit you more? I’m wondering how you’re learning e.g. by yourself, one-on-one with a tutor, in a classroom, etc because sometimes the method of learning can make a huge difference.
Hopefully my thoughts help a little. If not, that’s okay too.
P.S. Donte’, thanks for the thoughtful post to me. I will reply to you tomorrow :)