I was emotionally neglected throughout my childhood. It's a recent revelation for me too. I'm middle aged, and am only now able to piece together the 'how' of why I am the way I am. It's an enlightening process, like I'm seeing things for the first time. Though I'm having trouble dealing with all these connections I'm making between my past and how it has shaped me. There's a lot of amazement, which is why I used the word 'enlightenment' to describe what I'm finding. But as well there's sadness over the loss of what I missed out on.
I think back to the child I was, and it makes me cry for him. I wish I could hug him and just listen to what was on his mind.
I have a Son now, and I couldn't imagine treating him the way I was treated. So when I ask myself why I was treated the way I was, the emotional reaction I get is resentment towards my parents. I can't understand why I was treated like furniture that could be packed up and moved from city to city, school to school, and told that it would toughen me up. I know that my parents had their own demons, so much so that I'm surprised they stayed married throughout all the upheaval and fighting. But even so, I still can't understand why they thought that I could simply deal with things on my own, rather than viewing me as a vulnerable child who needed to be cared for. I'm a very withdrawn personality now, and I think that I must have withdrawn at a very young age, because I don't remember ever acting out or protesting their behaviour. I think that I simply accepted that I was an expendable part of their plans.
Regardless, the resentment I'm feeling troubles me because it's unresolved. My parents are elderly now, and I want to confront them about my childhood, because I want answers. But I know that it would hurt them. My Father would react with scepticism and deflect it somehow, likely assuming CEN isn't a serious issue and that other people had far worse childhoods (which the latter is true). Or he'd just get angry and blow his top like he always does. My Mother would be hurt. She wouldn't know what to say other than that they tried their best. These predictions make it seem like a hopeless conversation that wouldn't have any positive outcomes.
Has anyone ever confronted their parents about their own emotional neglect?