Hey.
I do apologise if this has been posted in the wrong area, I’m new to this and pretty nervous about it.

five years ago today my best friend committed suicide and I was the first person too find him.
I was 21, working in the mining industry and had never experienced anything like that before in my life.
the thought of any one taking their own life was just unheard of so it was extremely shocking too find him the way I did.
I had too call emergency services, I had too call him Mum and explain.

ever since then I’ve been completely lost. I ruined my career, jumping between jobs at various mine sites and basically burning every bridge I had.

I lost my relationship, I pushed good friends away and I completely lost who I am as a person.
every bit of interest in anything I had has been lost.

I’m coming here today because I want advice. I want the nightmares too stop, I want too have a normal life, I want the thoughts of what happened too stop because they completely ruin my day.
I’ve been too a doctor who’s recommended me too a phycologist, I’ve been in contact with a drug and alcohol counciller because I was drinking too forget. I’ve been sober for a week now.

I apologise too anyone I may have triggered or upset.

any Help, tips or tricks would be really appreciated.

Hi Cjjj,

Thank you for sharing such a brave and open post here. We’re sorry to hear you’re feeling lost. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot, and we can imagine how incredibly hard that would be but we’re glad you were able to open up to this community. 

We’re sure you’ll hear from some of our lovely forum members soon, but in the meantime we wanted to let you know that we’re here, and you can talk to the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors about this at any time you think it would be helpful on 1300 22 4636, or via our webchat or email here (11am-12am AEDT). You can also talk to Blue Knot about this on 1300 657 380, every day between 9-5 (AEDT). They also have some resources on their website which could be useful to visit, particularly the pages on Survivors Self Care. 

Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story. It might take some time for our kind community to spot your post, but we’re sure they will soon be here to offer their support and understanding.  

Kind regards,

Sophie M

Cjjj

welcome to the forum.

I am sorry you what you experienced and you now feel lost.

You have been so honest and there will people reading your post who won’t feel alone.

That is a huge step to be sober for a week. Well done. Have you found you feel different since you stopped drinking.

Are you going to see a psychologist?

Sophie has suggested some help lines , do you think you may contact one of them.

Feel free to post here if it helps.

It takes time but you have made a start.

Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story. I can see that you are going through so much. You have been so strong.

Congrats on being sober for a week. Very proud of you. It takes a lot of strength and courage to do that.

I think seeing a counsellor/psychologist is the best option, as their profession is to help people who are going through a tough time. It will take time for you to get used to but one day everything will be fine.

Please stay safe and i am here to chat if you need me.