Hi and my apologies for the late response,
Possibly this would be better as a separate thread - so feel free to let me know and I can make one - but other than the suggestions above (I have spoken to the Blue Knot foundation previously, although it was before I was made aware of more past details) - I was wondering if any member had personal advice on just day-to-day living?
I had a severe panic attack at work start of the year and following that had to be put on sick leave (and lost my job). Started seeing my psychologist around April (hadn't seen one before) and had a break-down/break-through moment in June - had been very loosely given a bipolar diagnosis ages ago but never talked to anyone about my history...have since become very apparent that what I'd experienced for that diagnosis didn't fit and that trauma seems to be the cause for my various symptoms/issues.
One thing in particular I find very hard is talking about trauma (as in with people who are not professionals) - not as in what's happened necessarily but explaining why and how it still effects me without it seeming like "clinging to the past"...
I've been exposed to sexual and physical violence second-hand (towards my mom and another woman) but also verbal/emotional/psychological/neglect before and after this period, by the same parent who suffered the abuse...
I have zero contact with my mom (it's not proven possible, since whatever childhood trauma she may have suffered to cause how she acts or possible mental diagnosis isn't something she's willing to talk about/seek help for), no dad and no siblings.
I would like to have a happy life, but in between "losing a parent" who's still alive, accepting that the one family member I saw myself as close to isn't actually a ray of sunshine but has been using that as a way to not deal with negativity (so I don't feel I can really talk to her) and dealing with things like disassociation, I find that I can act "well" to various extents but I never really FEEL well?
Sorry for the long post but if anyone has something they do daily that they've found helps (doesn't have to be daily), I do find because I disassociate quite frequently that things like meditation would actually make things worse..I have got some sensory toys to try to "ground myself" but practical tips would be much appreciated
Or just how you deal with "moving on" without just feeling fake I suppose