This is pretty heavy.
Recently I’ve been struggling with anxiety due to an incident. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life but that doesn’t make the hard times any easier.
I get worried that I can be to self consumed sometimes and well this is just too important for me to mess up.
Christmas night everyone had, had a bit too much to eat and drink.
My partner and his brothers ALWAYS have “deep” conversations once they get intoxicated. They each have a lot of resentment about their childhood.
Nothing about the night was different to every other drunken night they’ve spent together, until my partner exploded and said that he was raped by his step dad and that he knows for a fact that his younger brother was to because he witnessed it. The step dad is biological father to the younger brother.
A physical fight started to break out so I just went into action mode to try and seperate everyone and ensure nothing to serious ensued. I feel like I was the only one there who tried to stop the fight - and I got pushed around a fair bit etc. My adrenaline was in over drive- which is not fun for someone who has already been severely impacted by anxiety.
Everyone was physically safe after the scramble and I managed to get everyone home safely.
My partner wouldn’t really talk to me that night and I didn’t push it either for fear of saying the wrong thing or making matters worse.
Boxing Day was a write off and I didn’t try and push conversation with my partner.
* I still haven’t brought up the issue with him. How do I even do this ?
He’s not usually someone to share his feelings
* I’m unsure if this information is true. I have no reason to not believe him. He is not the sort of person to lie about something so serious but what if he was just really really drunk?
* What support is out there for men and sexual assault? How can I encourage him to get help?
* How do I try and cope with this knowledge? my mind cannot comprehend or compartmentalise this information.
This step father is someone who is still apart of our lives and we see him from time to time.
Ive been with my partner for over 12 years now and this is the first time I’ve heard about this. It breaks my heart and I feel so incredibly useless and inadequate.
I feel lost. I feel guilty that my own issues weigh on my partner and our relationship.
Its been 4 days since he said this out loud and I still haven’t done or said a single thing.