I am so sorry that this happened, it sounds like it has been extremely traumatising for you. I cannot imagine the pain and distress you must experience everyday. Please know that you do not need to feel guilty - it was not your fault. It was horrible and it should never have happened.
I am so sorry that you feel that you cannot tell anyone - please know that there is help available, there are confidential & non-judgmental services that will listen and support you. I would really encourage you to look at the resources available on the Blue Knot Foundation website (https://www.blueknot.org.au/) and contact their helpline (1300 657 380 9am-5pm Mon-Sun) if and when you feel up to it. Bravehearts (https://bravehearts.org.au/) is another information and support line that you may wish to look at.
You are not alone in what you are going through. Please know that there are people who care, who want to help you. We are here to listen and support you too - I know it is not the same as having someone physically there, but we do care.
Please reach out if and when you are feeling up to it. Take care.