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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / PTSD for Medical and First Responders

Topic: PTSD for Medical and First Responders

  1. littleboots
    littleboots avatar
    31 posts
    5 May 2020 in reply to Croix

    Hello there Croix,

    So very nice to see you here.

    I'm reading Dan Kootz - The Whispering Room. Really very good. Kootz is a masterful writer, I've read a few now. The plot is twisted enough to keep me turning the pages & looking fwd to the next.

    What are you reading?

    Downloaded the app btw.

    Me doing voluntary work? What a good idea. I don't know what I'd be good at though. I'd like to train for one of the help lines but via chat. I'm very fast on the k/board but no good with the hearing via phone. I need to look into it all a little more.

    Helping others who are facing troubles helps me? Sounds corny I know but it does. Takes my mind away from myself, my own intensity & self-centered traits. But I'm an introvert or so I'm told. So need to go gently.

    I don't like online gaming. I'm just not that competitive. Though I used to be. Calmed down now I reckon? I like ms word games lol..

    I've been experimenting with making s/dough bread since early Jan. I know it's a thing now. I promise I was doing it before covid. I've done a huge amount of research & made many loaves - all edible but some well, only just. Intensely perfectionist traits come out with it all. Never satisfied with my own deeds.

    Ripping around my house is my way of saying there are many jobs to be done. DIY or handyman? Handyman died. :(

    NDIS has turned into a nightmare. The plan they've provided seems designed for another person. Now I must either find someone to advocate on my behalf or do it myself. There is no end. Not good.

    My dog is now settled in very well. We've had our moments of course but we find common ground. If she disagrees with me, food always changes her mind. I do mean a tiny, wee bit, even just a sniff. lol

    21 years of marriage - so good to hear. Lately all around me r'ships are falling over. Covid finds the cracks?

    I read about your cat - hmm who rules the roost?? Ya Cat!

    The news isn't good but then if it was they'd not speak of it would they? So sad for the freeway four & those left behind. Too much. :(

    Take care & stay well,

    LB

  2. Croix
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    Croix avatar
    9526 posts
    5 May 2020 in reply to littleboots

    Dear LB~

    I had been wondering how you were getting on, so I'm pleased that between reading about the FBI's one female highly trained rouge agent and filling the world with bread you are managing.

    How can you research bead? It comes in various coloured packets from the supermarket and that's basically it.

    Did I ever mention Charles Stross? I"m reading him now (again). He mixes up bureaucracy, the secret service and Lovecraft (the writer). Has several series with a female protagonist plus ranges widely elswhere. Though with your current author you only have around 100 books to go.

    OK, what app?

    In the canine world bribery goes a long way, not so the feline, they have their own agenda, full stop. I'm normally reduced to the status of doorman/butler.

    Keyboard skill sounds in demand, why not inquire? Support is flavor of the month ATM due to isolation. You might have to expect training though to go with any reputable help organization

    Yes I am sure isolation makes a number of relationships feel strained, it is amazing how many things fill up our live, work, travel, being alone, and all the myriad rest. To adapt to a more crowded stimulation poor life so different in nature takes a lot. That made worse be the ever present reminders on TV of discouraging stats and sights.

    Don't want to say much about the freeway incident, I feel for all the families and the MOTF they knew. I wore the remembrance pin to my next meeting, sadly nobody even noticed.

    I'm sorry about NDIS, frankly you need an advocate, one experienced in all the wordings necessary, not just somebody lumped on you, and doing it yourself involves as much specialist knowledge as proximate cause and heaps up the stress - (plus I doubt you would ever get a bread-maker on psychosocial disability grounds:)

    Probably better attending to your house DIY on the doable jobs and leaving it in expert hands.

    I'm sitting here in front of a wood fire in my elderly but exactly comfortable chair being supervised and will now stop

    Stay good

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Reflection
    Reflection avatar
    6 posts
    7 May 2020 in reply to Emergency services worker female

    Hi,

    this is my first post on this forum. We have a lot of things in common it would seem - the ugly head of PTSD and depression/anxiety can be quite bothersome. I know a little about that side of things. I, still don't tell people what I did in public, not special, just how it is. I will say this, we have a lot in common. If you do happen to want a hand, it's a long time ago now that I went through what you're talking about, but I might be able to offer some advice.

    There is life after your job - one day at a time. I became a good drinker - I would not recommend that path.

    I will be interested to see if I get a reply to this. So, I'll stop here, as I'm not sure about whether you'll get this, and i don't want to write a long post if it doesn't get to you.

    Happy to chat, could be mutually therapeutic - for me, it's a part of my life i don't really talk about - though I'm happy to try.

    Best wishes,

    Reflection

  4. Reflection
    Reflection avatar
    6 posts
    7 May 2020 in reply to littleboots

    Hi Littleboots,

    first, i really like your handle - cool name.

    second, I'll just put a quick post out there and see how you're going. I'm only new to this chat about 30mins ago, so will just give is short message and see what happens. I have a similar chapter to you, not the same, just similar. I got out several years back now and the battles for some sort of funds to continue life, well, they waged on for years. I can now say I'm at the end of those battles and have been piecing together a life since then.

    I still don't talk to people about these things, for some reason, I figure others' won't be interested in the story. At least we have some united narrative from our past work lives.

    It seems you have quite the dialogue going with Croix, which is great! I'm around, and will try and check in on occasion if you do want to entertain a conversation.

    This will get better!

    Cheers

    reflection

  5. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    9526 posts
    9 May 2020 in reply to Reflection

    Dear Reflection~

    I'm sorry I cant find your first two posts, so I guess I start as if this was it.

    Welcome to the Support Forum, it's a place where people have had all sort of experiences, job related PTSD, depression and anxiety being a common one, and one I work my way though too.

    I've reached a sort of "armed truce" with my conditions and live a pretty reasonable life - I hope you do too. I was lucky enough to escape the drink, something a lot of my colleagues did not, and think I've probably been a beta tester for most meds as that became available. I've now settled on a set that work, amazing!

    You are right, there is "life after police", though its a particularly hard thing to come to terms with, like some other occupations, being a MOTF changes once permanently.

    Would you like to say how life has been since you left, and your interests now?

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Reflection
    Reflection avatar
    6 posts
    12 May 2020 in reply to Croix

    Hi Croix,

    Thank you for your response. I'm glad you have reached an "armed truce" I like that expression too! It seems you have had your share of ups and downs (based on the medication trials), I'm glad that things seem to be rolling along alright now. I, as you can see, only signed up recently, so I haven't gauged a style to this discussion board yet, still finding my feet.

    Life has changed significantly from the pre 'work' days. Cards on the table - the biggest difference is my easy-going nature. I used to be quite an easy-going person, now, not so much. This is coming back, however slowly. I worked out I can't drink - that's my number one thing - I'm too good at it!

    I obviously don't want to write too much about myself on an open forum, suffice to say, I'm doing a lot better than I was - I still have my demons and days that I wish didn't happen. I'm still in therapy, and probably will be for life. I don't mind though, I am a bit of an advocate for therapy as a method of healing. I think everyone, regardless of problems, or no, should see a therapist, once a year or so.

    Some days are better than others. I'm still pretty down on myself and have pretty low self-worth. I am starting to recognise this, and hope to find my voice again in the years that follow. I lead a fairly busy life (nothing too extravagant) I just don't take much downtime, this is something I'm working on too.

    I am trying to be okay with my demons, one thing I've wanted to do is some travelling, present time excluded of course. I haven't been able to do any travelling, I have always wanted to go overseas again (it's been many years) and explore different countries and have different experiences. I'm certainly not agoraphobic, some tendencies, but not all. I just like my comforts - will work on this too. Boy, a lot of things to work on :)

    How about yourself, would you like to speak a little about yourself. I have read some of your past posts and the like, but I'd like to get a sense of how you're going?

    Thanks

    Ref

  7. Croix
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    Croix avatar
    9526 posts
    12 May 2020 in reply to Reflection

    Dear Ref (with a wave to LB)~

    Thanks for coming back and talking more, I guess you asked about me so a brief history. Invalided out suicidal, PTSD, depression & anxiety. Been hospitalized, been under therapy (still am), always meds. My saving grace was to find identity and occupation in time as a student, went on the be a uni educator, then something in IT.

    Marriage survived (no thanks to me). Finding identity occupation and use made the difference in the long run, so self worth (and thus relationship) improved. Is that enough for now?

    I was full of fun, just starting to come back, same as you and being easygoing I guess. I came to the conclusion that the real person is buried in there, and over time, with luck and support, reemerges.

    Maybe I misunderstand but the demons and travel I'd not think related. For a short while the senses are overloaded by new sights and sensations, but lying in a strange bed they do return. Thankfully over the years weaker, less frequent and more controllable.

    Apart from travel are there things you like and enjoy - look forward to? Also things you are good at (do not have to be earth-shaking)- but give you a sense of accomplishment? I find that helps a lot. Self reward and self esteem for me.

    As for right now, the confinement is not my best freind, due to medical conditions and age do not go out, can distort my perception - how are you managing?

    There's no particular style to this Forum, you can tell your story, or parts of it or none. I find it helps to give away snippets of my experiences in order to let others know what to expect -peddle hope if I can. Maybe you might just find someone you relate with and understand and will just chat, it's OK.

    The basic idea is that this whole place is based upon giving each other support - when we can, which might take a fair while.

    Croix

  8. littleboots
    littleboots avatar
    31 posts
    13 May 2020 in reply to Croix

    Hello Croix,

    Back again. :)

    Jane Hawk certainly is a rouge, Dan Kootz fly's off into fantasy sometimes, if it's just a quick trip I'm ok but too far and I'm lost. Sometimes the words leap off the page in a beautiful sequence & I feel known.

    Researching bread - yes there is such a thing! Not by colored pkt's btw (rolling eyes) 10,000 yt's cannot be wrong. I've accidentally made the best loaf ever last week. It was, I was certain, destined to be a doorstep. But, I baked it anyway & wow... it was insta worthy, if I had insta that is?? Beautiful wide, but not wild crumb, moist & a tasty crust. Now to repeat my mistake? and make another.. sigh.. almost eaten it all. Getting into a routine with the making, saving money, diverting gaze from the wider world. Must be a good thing somehow?

    Smiling mind app?

    Cats do have a knack for re purposing humans - you're lucky doorman & butler is all they've done.

    I've had a look around for programs re training for volunteers - not found the right place yet. Maybe I can do a TAFE course? I'm serious about finding & doing it.

    Cannot find an advocate re NDID. Covid seems to have shut down ppl's minds & as well as places to go.

    Currently helping an acquaintance rebuild her life following a r'ship break. Accommodation, reassurance & finding her own way fwd - leading through the cloud of pain. Big things, broken down into little steps. We seem to have found approp., accom., at last, so another step to independence achieved. I remember how she felt. I thought I'd shut empathy down but apparently I still have some. That surprised me. I managed to keep the demons down too.

    Doing T via laptop. How are you doing yours?

    What are you doing to adapt to the new way fwd re covid?

    I'm reading 'Six minutes' by Australian author Petronella McGovern. (sounds like a mozzie repellant?) A pseudonym? hope it is. Anyway, I'm a few chpt's in. It's very 'Gone girl' style in narration. Each chapter is written from the perspective of one of the characters. Predictable? I think I know who 'done' it already. Fairly clumsy but will press on. It's her first novel so giving it a chance.

    Taking my dog for a walk 90 mins a day. You cannot do that with cats he he.. Pool is still closed, the chlorinated water ok but the surrounds, dangerous. Body is aching for movement. Taking pain meds. Didn't understand how many injuries I carried & for what? Is anyone better off? Damn them all...

    Hope you're well & taking care Croix,

    Regards,

    LB

  9. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    9526 posts
    13 May 2020 in reply to littleboots

    Dear LB~

    I think reading Jane Hawk's exploits is one thing, Bella's disappearance is another and a bit too real. I too find at times the words leap off the page, conjurers of incidents that should have been put to rest decades ago, G.F.Newman's work being one good example

    I stick to the happy fantasy worlds for the most part.

    Now you are trying to convince me the the intricacies of producing something fattening and every-day is a high art, with successes to dream of and failures that are consigned to utilitarian household objects.

    Seriously if you do it well and gain satisfaction, a great thing, important.

    My Nain (Welsh Grandmother) made barra brith, a sort of loaf which could not decide if it was a cake or not, and I remember it fondly.

    Training for volunteers, I found that came incidental to the job I was doing. That's not to say I did not look for the pitfalls, however my latest venture was peer work, which you can do at TAFE, though you might find alternative cheaper routs.

    Lifeline does a lot of training in all sots of mental health fields , some nationally accredited, perhaps a talk with their training department might be of use.

    Yes I'm using a laptop ATM as it allows me to be in front of the wood fire. Sadly my spelling, and all the rest takes a nosedive doing things this way -sigh

    There is a difference between empathy and suspicion/lack of trust. The first you are born with , the second, inspired by PTSD and related matters is imposed over it, but does fade. I felt for my partner when I was being beastly -go figure.

    I guess you are finding, when dealing with your friend, the effects of illness are wearing thin in places, encouraging -at least it was for me.

    Cats do not go for walks, they acquire freehold title to bed and sofa, and that's the end of the matter. Actually Sumo follows my wife around in the garden out of pure curiosity, quite dog-like in a way.

    I too am missing the exercise I need and temper and medication levels rise.

    Yes the world is better off. Your injuries, mental and physical, are a price we all pay to live in comparative security from rampant dishonesty and violence. Your wounds buy a livable country. That price is extracted from some more that others - unfair. You know this. But you made the world fairer as I said.

    Croix (who if he sees a house surrounded by door-stops will have his suspicions over the identity of the occupant)

  10. littleboots
    littleboots avatar
    31 posts
    21 May 2020 in reply to Reflection

    Hello Reflection,

    Thank you for writing to me here. I'm very pleased to converse with you. I'm new here too & really except for a very few moments I contain myself here on this thread. I don't want to sound elitist but it's really wonderful having our own particular little corner to meet. I feel understood here?

    In someways I don't need to know a lot about you from one perspective because pretty much I know the training, the organisation & perhaps little known & well known idiosyncrasies of it.

    I understand when one finds themselves no longer useful to it, the organisation has it's own particular way of dispensing with you & how demeaning, de-humanising and destructive the whole process is. ugh... I've been there & in some ways I'm still dealing with it all, via reviews. I'm glad you're on the way out of that process Reflections. Hopefully knowing your financial situation is a little more settled will lead to other good outcomes too?

    In other ways though, our own individual experiences are completely unique to us. We may have the same or similar dx but it manifests in so many different ways. So I too, along with Croix would be interested, if you want to say more. But only if you want to, otherwise skipping along on other stuff is fine too. It's still so good to 'meet'.

    I'm really sorry it's taken me two entire weeks to respond. I've got cabin fever & I feel compelled to say, a non covid virus lol... Plus & lot of pain? Maybe the rainy weather causes it.. getting old...?

    Also I've been helping someone who's very dependent on support dealing with a b/up & it's exhausting. Thankfully I'm at the end now. Being relied on, at that intensity, isn't something I'm used to anymore.

    So glad I am not going to have that happen to me (waving at you Croix lol) I break up with myself almost daily at times. Don't need another person to tell me I'm wrecked & walk away. ..sigh..

    Come back & tell me what you've been doing to keep afloat Reflections. Another soul travelling through this mire is always welcome.

    My latest addiction is online jigsaw puzzles.. I know - found a new low right? Waiting for a program to tell me I'm doing ok has got to be so unhealthy??!

    But also, I've got a lovely dog whom I feel obliged to exercise daily & in return loves me despite it all.

    Take care & I'll check in to see if you return Reflections,

    Littleboots

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Croix
    Community Champion
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    9526 posts
    21 May 2020 in reply to littleboots

    Dear LB (wiht a wave to Reflection if you are listening)~

    There is one special chunk of wisdom in that last post of yours, "it is good to meet" so even on minimal details one does not feel as alone. Other people in the world the same or similar is a great thing, even in an unhappy situation.

    I know you waved, and I or others on the Forum will still be here no matter how many times you break up with yourself, as that is based on false perceptions. We cant walk away when we are the same.

    Yes I too would like to talk with you more Reflection if you wanted.

    LB has you dog got outrageously spoiled as yet? As for jigsaws , I'm pretty pleased with myself, I found one marked "4 years and up" and did it in a week!

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  12. littleboots
    littleboots avatar
    31 posts
    13 June 2020 in reply to Croix

    Hello Croix,

    Well first, congrats on completing the puzzle - you've made me smile at your sense of achievement.

    My dog is outrageously spoiled yes. She gets 150 gms of food a day, a chew on a bone that is now coming up to 3 mths old; a treat at bedtime & during training she'll get tiny little rewards if she does the right thing.

    I've not ventured into the dog coat mkt yet & will be giving it a miss bc she doesn't need it. I've had a lot of time on my hands lately lol so I've trained her to roll over, shake, do pretty sit & return the ball only to my hands. She's lacking in mental stimulation bc I cannot walk much right now. Hurt my feet wearing really cheap & nasty but on trend sneakers. They're in the bin now & my feet are gradually recovering. It's a painful lesson.

    I've been spinning out over the protests here, there & everywhere. After so much time in isolation I have little sympathy for the way ppl want to convey their feelings. I just don't. If there is a second wave, we gave the virus a walk up start didn't we? Isn't this the era of the technosavy youngster? Wouldn't seem to be.

    I'm going to need to stay away longer now. I know unintended consequences and first world problem but still...

    What is your view on where healthy lookout vs paranoia & hypervigilance intersect? Re virus.

    How are you Croix? Happy and healthy I'm hoping!

    Reflections hasn't come back here?

    MS jigsaws keep freezing or shutting down so I'm cranky with that. I've not seen any family for six months now & probably three people otherwise.

    Lots more really upset feelings but running out.

    Catch you later Croix,

    Take care

    LB

  13. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    9526 posts
    13 June 2020 in reply to littleboots

    Dear LB~

    Nice to hear from you, and it does not sound to me like your pandered to pooch is short of mental distractions, it is her owner, and I agree about dog coats.

    If we go out late at night when it is cold (which we have not done much of at all recently of course), then Foxy Dog has an igloo to curl up inside (watched by Sumo Cat who sits inside in the warm looking smug)

    I agree that large crowds do increase the risk of a second wave, though have no idea how big that risk is and I suspect the results might not be known for at least 3 weeks. Then again so many other things are opening up due to economic pressures it might be hard to tell.

    I'm glad I'm not in the USA at the moment.

    Fashionable footwear or not, you do need more outside interactions, even if only on the computer. My time is busy with Zoom, both for my work and social interaction. Surprisingly sitting in front of the fire having a video chat can be very satisfying. With your skills you should be able to find peple on-line for innocuous chats, no I'm not talking dating sites.

    OK, you mentioned Lots more really upset feelings but running out.

    Would you like to say more about what is upsetting you? I'm hear to listen if you would like. Probably no answers but listen well:) Might even be better than watching Microsoft jigsaws freeze

    I'm OK, like you finding incarceration is not good; grumpier, more impatient, less motivation, all the usual suspects. Partner very long-suffering and has not given in to the temptation to return fire:)

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  14. littleboots
    littleboots avatar
    31 posts
    14 June 2020 in reply to Croix

    Hello Croix & thanks for responding again,

    My family - tiring!

    They expect me to return to the frantic pace & giving of last year when my dad was sick & subsequently passed away. Still grieving but they don't care.

    It took months to restore some semblance of normal when I got home & I'm not really sure I have yet reached that place. Covid came along & idk I felt depleted & incredibly unloved. Still do.

    I was alone with him when he died. I'm having moments of intense emotion though he wasn't a good father.

    Now I've received blunt messages demanding that I go & stay with my mother again, listen endlessly to my sisters problems, which in fairness are many, and provide general b/up.

    My family would have to land fairly squarely in the toxic.

    They will not accept that I have mental health illness & even need a break. They don't want to know about anything relating to me at all. I've tried to explain. They don't think I've got a life bc I'm ill-health retired. That translates in their minds to I'm now available.

    In the past, I generally give them what they asked - and then faded out until again called. No welcome for me outside those parameters.

    Established as a pattern since I was a small child. They are truly selfish in the extreme.

    I've put a boundary around that behaviour now. Covid helped me do that - how ironic.

    In short, I've said 'nope' but good luck.

    So, I'm being punished & subtly threatened that unless I return to my ways I'm to expect consequences.

    They are like Dark Matter - they exist but are not seen, suck everything I've given into their centre via & it never ends.

    My family are hyper critical twds me & there is def., no even distribution of the tasks or responsibilities. My siblings cry off that they are too busy - always.

    So I feel really alone now. I've stuck by the boundary. I'm not justifying myself to them. I'm giving back the silence.

    I don't know anyone in this place I live. I made a big mistake coming here I know only those that want to use me & I've stopped them too. So now there's nobody at all.

    Is everyone lonely & I just don't know it? Is everyone trapped inside themselves? Is this normal? My friends are dead or scattered now. Our mutual affiliation no longer the common ground it once was.

    I belong to a couple of forums but constantly in awe at the o/sharing that goes on there lol.. Where do you mean?

    Thanks, run outa space?

    Take care,

    LB

  15. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    9526 posts
    14 June 2020 in reply to littleboots

    Dear LB~

    I think you are getting somewhat better than when we first met. You have survived that death, got a pet and now are not only recognizing what is bad for you but actually doing somethng about it.

    So you have said no to your family after yes for so long. Of course they will react, but I have the feeling you can shrug it off.

    I'm certainly at the age friends have passed away, and those from the old day that are left have houses in Thailand or similar, a long way from my modest interests.

    No you may not know anyone where you are now, but that does not prevent you gently and slowly seeking a companionship you like. I agree it is not obvious, there are no 'nice interesting person to talk here' sites I know of, but that is why you use your copper skills to ferret something out.

    It could be training ability dogs for all I know. (It probably isn't fashion footwear design), A tiny little old lady I realy liked and knew quite well trained rescue dogs for search and rescue.

    I'm not suggesting you go down a canine causeway, just it is a big world. While I'm not at all sure there is anything that would strike your fancy why not plow though my thread

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/how-to-take-practical-advantage-of-isolation

    It's mostly about things and just about finished now, but you never know. Then there's always the volunteering,

    There realy is no hurry to do much and yes many are trapped inside themselves alone, linking them and getting them to accept others is the hard bit.

    One sad thing that has remained with me. Many years ago my first wife passed away, so after a while I advertised in hte newspaper to get to know someone with a view to a permanent relationship. I was deluged in answers, and happily found the exact right one -we are still together. However what struck me was that so many of the others did not really want another human being with all the little accommodations that might take, just a convenient tidy fantasy. Knowing what they really wanted would have helped them.

    Are you reading at the moment?

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  16. bear53
    bear53 avatar
    16 posts
    15 June 2020

    Hi, havent been on this post for some time, but then that could be a good thing right? So a couple ofyears ago I was diagnosed with PTSD post work incident and was on workcover further down the track due to a separate work incident with an agressive pt.

    I got back to my full time load and cleared for full duties earlier this year. (Partly at my request to my GP as I was almost up to full duties anyway and dealing with the workcover agent every month was a big stress in itself - they could be soo rude!)

    I was happy at work and managing well, enjoying work I do in the community.

    BUT... a few months ago there was a seriuos code black incident, sonething many of us felt could potentially happen . I wasnt involved on the day but knew the pt well, so that shook me a bit.

    Thats not the problem thou. Now I am being called up for an investigative meeting with potential discipline for something related to this. (cant post too much) if it came to dismissal I would have a good case for unfair dismissal.

    I have taken a week off work due to stress. I have some great supports, including my family, husband, GP , and representative. Am trying to do some regular exercise and look after myself in the meantime. But my anxiety is pretty high at times, i do get some physical symptons from this.not sure whether or not to reactivate my workcover claim, but fear this will make it worse. Anyone done this before?

    Also looking for some good tips for when I go to the meeting to help me manage it.

    Thanks. Bear.

  17. Reflection
    Reflection avatar
    6 posts
    20 August 2020 in reply to littleboots

    Hi Littleboots,

    this one will just be a short one, as I'm typing about 5 different things at once and getting nowhere. I am glad to hear from you and sorry it's taken forever for me to respond. Life has been having its ups and a few downs, but overall, we're all still here and kicking, so, that's a good start.

    I have been diagnosed with c-PTSD and dep anx, plus alcohol use disorder - so, a few things. These things are obviously not something that goes away, but things are improving.

    how are you going with life?

    Yes, the organisation certainly has a way of disbanding with people. It's some years ago for me, so the bitterness to that end has mostly gone - I'm still not a fan, but I understand it's just the nature of that bureaucratic beast.

    What kind of dog do you have? it's good to have a companion, so I'm glad to hear that you've got a furry friend :).

    I have been quite busy lately hence the not checking in here. Iam still at uni, winding down the years to go. I have an interest in trying to help others, so I've chosen a degree that aligns with that goal. I just got a new job, so we'll see if that goes ok or not soon, I have my fingers crossed.

    What about you, what's been happening?

    Thanks.

    Ref.

  18. Mayoush
    Mayoush avatar
    1 posts
    29 August 2020
    The lockdown is draining me as well as the CPTSD symptims.... dunno what to do!
  19. bear53
    bear53 avatar
    16 posts
    3 September 2020

    Feeling pretty down right now, though some days, or parts of days are better than others.

    So for just over 2 months now I have been in conflict with management at work, over what they considered needed a disciplinary action. Without saying too much about it, I had fantastic support from a relative trained in HR, (who sought advice from an IR lawyer when needed) which was great as my union wasnt very helpful.I took sick leave as needed. Despite my relative pointing out to management at the very first meeting with them that they had broken EBA discipline procedures, management pursued the matter and would not move on their views to the point where we then issued a 3 page grievance to management.Management still held firm.I was offered to be moved to a different area, but not happy to do this, as I loved where I worked and the people I worked with.

    Eventually they offered a settlement for me to leave, not before I contacted an industrial relations specialist to represent me.She was very empathetic and understanding of how poorly I had been treated. I had worked there for 16 years.

    Whilst my husband and my relative were supportive and encouraging me to leave, (and financially I could) have been feeling flat ever since. I miss the work and my colleagues , and not being allowed to explain to them what realy hapened is difficult(even though work was a toxic enironment at times). Covid restrictions arent helping.

    I do have some hobbies and try to do some exercise as I feel like it and have motivation.(running, walk the dog, yoga) . Meditation helps at time too.Ihave 3 grown up children who are all doing well, and I have other things to be grateful for. I may look at doing some casual work with a different employer.

    just needed to rant, at times I think Im doing ok, but a minor disagreement with hubby leaves me in tears. The whole ordeal has taken so much out of me, so many negative feelings and thoughts at times. For anyone who left their jobs, what helped short term? I thought I was managing my PTSD well, but maybe this is playing into it as well.

  20. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    9526 posts
    7 September 2020 in reply to littleboots

    Dear LB~

    I do not know if you are still reading this thread, it has been quite a while.

    I hope you and the canine companion are in the pink and you are occupied and enjoying it. I've just come back from a short holiday, always a blessing, though I don't seem to have done much different.

    The state library has had a triumph. Way back in December I ordered a copy of the Cuckoos Calling which you mentioned you were reading. It arrived about 2 days ago so I go to read it too. A bit like Sam Spade meets Girl Friday, but shows Joanne's flexibility, mind you it languished in relative obscurity until the true name of the author became known -surprise!

    I think the library sees the mañana philosophy as being unseemly haste. Anyway to keep them busy I've now ordered the next in the series.

    Apart from that a little snow, did not last but cold winds, fireside weather.

    I've also been watching Bruno Cremer's French TV series of Maigret, might appeal to you as it is about people rather than cops. You have to put up with subtitles though.

    The menagerie is fine

    Croix

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