Hi Guest_7403, welcome!
I read your thread a few days ago, there was alot to process, so I spent some time pondering your situation as it stands for you now.
The torment you endure is clear.
After thinking about your story, the parts of it shared on this thread at least, it's pretty clear to me you've suffered some deep betrayals.
"That day" that changed your life, or your reaction to that day could be more closer to the truth, and what followed in your personal life was betrayal after betrayal.
Betrayal of colleagues that "should've" had your back and ofcourse your wife betraying you in the time of your deepest needs of a spouse.
Being prevented from seeing your daughter is an ongoing pain that's clear also.
So realising this all and your own admission that you've not been able to move forward I'm relieved you wrote this....
Nah, I flicked her off this afternoon for good....won't be seeing her again.
Same with the others...I unmatch them so there's no going back.
I've done this maybe 20 times in the last 6 weeks..."
It's best not to embark on a relationship with your constant inner turmoil running full speed, lest you hurt others relentlessly, needlessly and endlessly.
Having a significant other at this time will NOT necessarily help you at all.
"Hurt people hurt people". < that="" is="" not="" your="" style.="" you="" are="" a="" protector,="" not="" an="" abuser,="" regardless="" of="" what="" has="" happened="" to="" you.="">
One point, why would you WANT to be "that person you were" again after all this?
Life changing events CAN include traumatic ones, and they invariably do.
What that inmate did was NOT of your doing.
What your colleagues did NOT do was not of your doing either.
What exW did was devastating.
But what you DID do was take more than your fair share of responsibility in desperately trying to prevent tragedy.
Sometimes just SOME TIMES we have a LOT to learn from a set of traumatic events.
We find out who has our back - hmmm.
We find out who is weak & leaves.
We can also find an incredible inner strength to GROW from this event. And even from many of them.
A saying I use here is "When life gives you sh** what do we do with it?" and the answer is "We turn it into fertiliser".
Taking responsibility for the rest of YOUR life is within your power.
Becoming the man your daughter needs as she comes of age and seeks you, can be one of your goals.
Big hugs, it's hard, but I truly believe "you've got this"!