Hello Rubybleu, I particularly dislike it so much when children are abused, their innocence and trust they had once believed in with somebody stolen away, and definitely feel the pain you're suffering from, I am so deeply sorry and hope the courts deal with this person in the appropriate way.
To bring this person through the legal system is going to change your attitude, your outlook on life and you maybe asking 'why', something that will be disturbing and II dearly hope you do have someone who can be next to you and understands this trauma you have to face again.
Each day maybe different, where anxiety is stronger than depression and the other days where it's the opposite.
Are you able to determine which one of these is more prominent than the other, that's not easy to know, because one day it's one then the next day it's the other.
Ask your therapist to help you understand why one dominates the other, but please get back to us, and again I feel for you.