Dear Zoe~
Welcome back! Yes we are still here and sorry to hear thngs have deteriorated, not just for you but your partner too.
I guess the first thing I should ask if either or both of you are under medical support for your mental states? It sounds important. Geoff may be right and OCD is driving you to have an orderly existence and your partner is not able to supply that.
It may well be that lack of ability is one thing your partner may struggle with, it can be hard to accept our limitations. Actually it sounds as if your partner has a number of thngs to struggle with, not only work but I'd expect finances now he working less, plus worry how much further matters might deteriorate.
I would imagine being on public transport could quite sensibly be regarded as a danger, but agree it is unfortunate he cannot drive as well as some and your car suffering as a result. Probably a source of stress for both of you. I hope it is a robust vehicle.
I do think the fact he has persevered at work with 1 plus 3 x 1/2 days could well be regarded as an achievement.
I'd not like you to think this post is a "praise the partner" thing and nothing else. I quite acknowledge your frustrations, the variability in your conditon, not having enough time alone and and trouble retaining your temper when things go over the top.
My point is that both of you may well need medical support, even if it is by telehealth if driving is too stressful.
Of course living thrown together 24/7 without respite is a hard way to be, however it's circumstances that have dictated this.
May I suggest a couple of thngs?
Firstly to enure you both have informed and competent medical support, which may be a GP plus psychologist or some other form of therapist, and secondly you make the best effort possible to help your partner cope.
Think of things to ease his load. Then when you do burst out with anger his remembering your efforts may make it easier for both of you.
Have you talked to your partner along these lines?
You can also ask your medical help about the various avenues though which respite might be arranged.
Finally being thrown together without the peace of solitude. Here I find I can take my mind out of the present by reading and becoming engrossed in enjoyable fantasy - is there anything similar for you? Also an equivalent for your partner?
This post is not intended to be overly blunt or unsympathetic. I'm simply trying to consider viable ways the pair of you can live greater harmony.
Croix