I have been with my husband for 10 years (since I was 15). Over
the years we have had some up’s and we have had some downs. He has depression
so a lot of our down periods coincided with that, but also I have recently
found that I have anxiety and depression which would of contributed to a few of
In 2011 I had an affair. We ended up reconciling in
We have been a bit rocky lately, due to me being depressed
and anxious and taking it out on him.
Finally over the weekend I felt like things were better, and
we were ok. That was until I came home from work Sunday night and he wouldn’t
talk to me. Turns out my behaviour reminded him of when I was cheating so he
looked on my Facebook. He found a message I sent to the person I had the affair
with in January 2012 trying to make contact. He is rightfully devastated, and
feels like every moment since then has been a lie.
I am trying to explain that it is not, that I made a mistake
and that I love him and only him. He isn’t sure if he wants to stay together.
I feel so anxious. I haven’t eaten in 24 hours. I feel like
crying but at the same time I feel numb.
I just don’t know what to do to make this better.