Hey everyone, you're all such wonderful people, hugs.
Dear TonyWK, I'm sorry for not responding earlier to another one of your AMAZING poems!! Man you need to PUBLISH lol.
Hey Grandy and others, you sweet SWEET lady. How anyone could be like this neighbour could be to you is beyond my comprehension and NOT your fault.
She's a controlling nuisance.
Someone mentioned "toxic" yes indeed I agree and add ABUSIVE.
A good "litmus test" is to ask yourself how you FEEL after being with that person.
Another is feeling the need to apologise ALL the time (just to keep the peace - which kinda only works for a minute or 2 hey?).
Long time survivors of abuse DO apologise and often do so relentlessly and really when it boils down to it - unnecessarily because it's not our fault but necessarily for survival.
We learnt how to survive.
Grandy don't beat yourself up about what you could or should have done. You're AMAZING, I wish you were MY neighbour!!
As Elizabeth CP said, behave in a manner that aligns with your values. You do do this and I'm really proud of you.
I have ONE suggestions besides all the praise lol... (it's what I learnt to do with my toxic neighbour)... instead of jumping quickly to apologise, catch yourself and leave a "pregnant pause"..... that is SILENCE where you normally would've jumped in quickly to apologise.
It takes practice! hahaha, lots of it sometimes.
Not sure if you know but I'm really involved in "Behaviour management" in my career, not my own lol, OTHERS.
It's part of my role.
I've absolutely learnt that with some pretty disordered individuals there's NOTHING you can do to support change in their behaviours - hey divorcing a demon showed that as evidence.
LOVING them till the cows come home does nothing but destroy you in the process, agreed TonyWK.
Give it a goooo Grandy.