Hi everyone
I really need to air out my thoughts. I'm seeing a psychologist on Friday but am going mad in the meantime.
Im married but am close friends with my ex and also in love with him. He feels the same way but we have agreed to do the right thing and not act on our feelings and commit to our marriages. There has however always been a little "window" left open for us to be together down the track.
yesterday he gave me the news that he and his wife are expecting their first child. I felt like my whole world came crashing down and that the window is now tightly shut. I want to be happy for him but I'm just so upset and feel like a bad person for feeling this way.
He has broken my heart before, and I his, I'm starting to wonder if that's all we will ever to do each other.
I don't know what to do - whether to continue the friendship despite the pain or to cut things off and live without him in my life.
I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about this because I feel so guilty about the relationship in the first place.