Hi there Mark and thanks for reaching out to the forum.
So sorry to hear about events since January this year, on top of the personal issues you also face.
There's no doubt, having run a successful business for 18 years, that you have real ability and resilience . Many many people could not have achieved what you have done!
I have been in a pretty similar situation, and there are four points I'd like to make that may help.
1. The anger, sorrow and hurt you face are waves that will pass over you many times for longer than you think. don't try to hasten this process, just embrace it and let it happen. With me it took at least a couple of years and was helped by my meeting a very lovely person quite by accident, with whom I have a fantastic relationship.
2. Assess as much as you can what contribution she has made to the business success. How much will that be missed if she is no longer involved? Will she be in a position to undermine the business or try and steal your clients?
3. Get legal advice on what her rights are concerning how much money she should be paid on departure (this could be substantial), and what contracts can be put in place for a non compete clause that stops her competing against you for a set period and a set geographical area. Whilst you are the sole Director, she has rights to argue what her contribution has been, and even include home duties that allowed you to run the business. She may also claim a share of future projected profits.
4. Things are very raw at the moment. Your challenge is to stay calm and get professional advice that you can trust. With clients as well, try to keep them removed from your domestic issues and try to prevent anyone taking sides on you vs your wife.
In my case, it was very difficult for a while. I took a financial hit. But in all honesty it was for the better and the business powered on. It was great when a few clients remarked how impressed I was about handling he split professionally as they knew my ex wife pretty well too.
They say we learn from adversity - what's that English statement 'Keep calm and carry on?" It is likely you will look back on this and appreciate what you have learnt from it!
Congratulations again for contacting the forum - I hope you are finding it helpful.
I am very happy to discuss further it you like.
All the best, The Bro