dear Cookie, welcome to the forum, and can I say that the reply by Haze is very good, and I totally agree with her remarks when she says that just because you connected to another male doesn't mean that you are gay, it's no different than going to a pub or club and socialising amongst the group, because you are bound to connect with someone.
Love is such a sensitive word, if can vary so much in any relationship, from puppy love all the way to caring love, and amongst these two loves there ranges a great deal, even to the point of saying it, just to keep the peace.
There have been many posts where the female has denied having sex with their partner and/or spouse, and this is a topic that can upset people, so I won't comment on this, but if you search for Steven1 there have been many answers and replies to his post which would be worthwhile for you to look at.
If you are unsure and not happy staying in this marriage it's something which you should talk about with your wife, but this may turn into an argument which won't achieve much, as it will only widen any link between you.
Alternatively you could just say that you are moving out, and I'm not saying that you should, this decision is up to you.
I know that the children is one of your greatest worries, but living apart shouldn't allow you to see them.
There are some big decisions that you have to make, so can I ask you a question, is there any real love in this marriage for the both of you to stay together. Geoff.