I live in a loveless relationship of convenience. My (ex) partner has erased me from her past and present, although we still live under the same roof. Neither of us has acknowledged to the other that’s it’s over. I suffer from extremely low self esteem and can’t bear to jeopardise the fragment of normalcy our relationship provides.
From her side, I assume she just wants me around to provide a household income and support her retail requirements, although she Is often jealous of other families better financial circumstances.
i can accept all of this. What upsets me tremendously is that we have a 17 yo daughter who has and is effectively being raised as a single parent child. My partner has basically excluded me from her life as I have been erased from hers. Since she hasn’t worked since our daughter was born, she’s had the opportunity to micromanage every aspect of our daughters life - school, activities etc. I’m not involved in anything really. I don’t go to parent/teacher nights because I I’m not told about them and when I do know, it’s made clear that she will be going.
obviously this situation is very messed up for me. I have one child and have missed out on a lot of her childhood while living under the same roof as her dad. Ironically, I think I would be more involved in her life if her mother and I were living apart.
i guess what I’m looking for with respect to support is perhaps some feedback on why this is happening. I know it takes two to tangle and the situation could not be so bad without me allowing it to. My lack of self esteem has really made it hard to voice my frustration.
What I dont understand is whether my partner is actually aware that her actions are causing me such sadness. Perhaps she doesn’t know that what she is doing is not right. This would simply make her very selfish and unempathetic.
Or is she completely aware and actively seeking to erase me from our daughter’s life.
i genuinely don’t know the answer to this and would appreciate feedback from anyone who has experience in this situation or simply has a better insight into this than I do. Thankyou.