I am hoping for some RE assurance here
my partner of 12mnths has recently confessed to texting girls (inappropriately)
i found texts on his phone last November , to which he said it meant nothing, it was silly banter with old friends. I said I didn’t like it and it needed to stop. He acknowledged this and we moved on.
In April this year he started facebook messaging me best friend, she contacted me straight away but given his past performance I asked her to persist. The messages again became inappropriate
when I confronted him about these messages, he said it wasn’t him, that a frenemy had logged into his account and done it to spite him.
the next day, being suspicious I went through his phone and found another conversation with another woman, when confronted he told me a friend from work uses his Facebook to have an affair with this woman
this was 3months ago, I have been suspicious, but he kept denying it was him.
finally this week he confessed that both conversations were from him. He can’t tell me why he did it, he barely remembers doing it. He only wants me, no one else.
he says he sometimes feels a haze come over him where he can’t control emotions or feelings, that he does something without realising and only later realised how wrong it is
his mother passed away tragically when he was in a car accident when he was 12, he was in the car with her and she died at the scene. This has obviously contributed to how he is now at 30. He has said he wants to get help, see a therapist.
he believes the lying and texting is to do with his mother passing and him feeling so alone for so much of his life.
i can see how this could happen, I’m just not sure how he will be able to resist texting other girls, why he does it at all and especially with my best friend.
I feel if he loves me like he says he wouldn’t do this, even if he does need some sort of mental help. Having depression doesn’t make you text other girls does it?
at the same time his mental state of mind when he texted my best friend, must not have been good, of course she was going to tell me. This makes me think there is merit to his story. He sometime doesn’t have control and when he sees someone about it, he will be better?
i hope I make sense!
thank you for any responses